Alice's Misadventures in Wonderland - Chapter 1
"Let's see how deep this rabbit hole goes" said Alice, racing after him, her mouth wide open as the Rabbit with the Incredibly Large Butt jumped into the hole. "My word! That must be a huge hole for his butt to have fit in there." she said, and jumped right in.Falling usually had it's benefits. For starters, you didn't need to dry your hair after a bath. The wind did it for you. Also it got mighty hard to breathe at times. The air had a ridiculous tendency to rush out of your lungs when you were falling, Alice observed. It irritated her slightly, but overall she didn't mind. But this hole was different. Alice noticed that she wasn't falling as fast as she wanted, and even though her skirt puffed up like a big umbrella, she didn't think it was the cause of her oh-so-slow fall. As she looked around, curious sights met her eyes. There was a man in red and blue spandex with black webby patterns crawling down one side and he waved out to her and threw her a Mars bar. Alice loved Mars bars and smiled back although she couldn't quite figure out where he'd pulled that bar our from in the first place. Those tight spandex really did stick to every part of your body...*ahem* On her way down, she glimpsed a few more almost-familiar faces - A Man in a Brown Paper Bag Mask duelling with Three Blind Mice With Swords, a young man in an alarmingly revealing yellow underwear yelling at the top of his voice and beating his chest, and an attractive young boy named Repeater Pan who, every time he laughed, floated up a few feet and fell down again. Couple of hundred tantrums, yawns, a few long naps, some candy from the nearby trees and fifteen and three quarter hours later, Alice looked down to finally spy the ground.Slowly but steadily, Alice dropped onto the ground and started dusting her dress when she realized there was a table close by. And it wasn't just a table, it was a Round Table. And on one side of it sat a bald black guy wearing a long leather coat and dark sunglasses without rims."Miss Alice. Welcome.", he said in a monotonous voice.Alice was quite surprised when the man spoke her name. But she was a smart girl and regained her composure soon, and since she'd been taught manners well by her governess, she curtsied."Hello sir, may I know how you know my name?" she asked.The man sat up in his seat, adjusted his glasses, wiped his bald head with a lace handkerchief and spoke."Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain. But you feel it. That there's something wrong with this world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?""Why no sir, I don't know what you're talking about. I was chasing the Rabbit with the Incredibly Large Butt when I fell into this hole." said innocent Alice."Ooh that Rabbit! I'm gonna whoop his white ass when I meet him again...ahem...sorry, pardon my language. Where was I?""You were telling me why I'm here.""Oh yeah...well, here are two pills. You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe…whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.""But sir, to be honest, we're at the bottom of the hole. I already know how deep it is.""Pick one!!""Which one? I can't decide!""ANY ONE dammit! Just choose!""Don't pressurize me!""Choose will you! I'll lose hair with all this stress.""You already are bald!""Shut up and pick one already!""Okay."So saying, Alice chose the red pill.