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Because nice guy and nice girls don't exist.

What do I mean by that?

Nice guy is probably going for arrange marriage.

Nice girls aren't allowed to be in a position to be approached by people.

I am talking about Indian situation.

So girls won't notice nice guy.

So don't have false hope.

There is another option.

What is your aim?

Do you want to fuck or do you want to fall in love?

If you want to fuck then unfortunately in India, options will be limited, so accept rejection as the normal and acceptance as exception.

There's no other way in India.

If your aim is to fall in love then don't go for girls that you find attracted to, instead go for the girls that you aren't interested and approach for talking and basically in anything. Results are very simple. She won't be interested in you. But you will be confident in talking to girls.

Now do this to more women whom you are not attracted.

Now after a while, you will feel comfortable with yourself around girls.

Now don't go for the girls you immediately attracted to but instead a select a group of girls whom you are attracted. Now go talk to them and try to make them interested in you while just having conversations. Rejection will be paramount here.

After a while, you won't feel intimidated or nervous around girls that you find attractive. And you won't be afraid of rejection because you would feel good about yourself that you atleast can talk to girls. Your feeling good about yourself will help you diminish fear of rejection and you would get used to rejection. Your ideas about soulmate or perfect girl will diminish from your mind unknowingly.

Chances are that you will have some sort of success.

Even if you aren't, it doesn't matter. Because you are an experienced man now.

Now approach the particular girl that you intialy wanted to talk to.

You would feel relax around her.

There's better chance that she will like you.

Now if that doesn't happen atleast now you know how to handle yourself infront of girls.

You won't care so much about rejection and you won't put girls on pedestal. Hence, you will have certain cold heart around girls. This is good for you because this can help you move on better after rejection.

You definitely will find a girl through talking which wasn't the case before.

This is what I learnt from my experience and it definitely works.

Now look how I talked about rejection and rejection and that because of thinking worst case scenario as most often you will have success :D

My advice is to you, don't be good guy or bad guy, be a realistic adaptable guy who knows how to handle girls.

#girlfantasy #Nojotocomedy #RIPStanLee #nojoto #Pyar #Relationship #nojotophotography #rain #nojotodigitalart #Thoughts #Photography #nojotovideo #shayri #Dil #Se #nojotoofficial #Fun #Nojotovoice #hindipoetry #poetryinhindi #nojotoenglish #nojotohindi #cutefactory #Love #pinkmania #Art #Paint #rain #Gif #RehneDe #feelings #DigitalArt #Movie #Quotes #Sketch #Fitness #lloveyou #BreakUp #HeartBreak #Lovebites #shopholic #narcissistic #jokes #footballjokes #soccer #Sports #CR7 #Notebook #attentionseeker #everreadyforpose #whateverywomanwanttohear #teasingishot #awkwardcoffeedrinking #brainfreeze #whattypeofgirlami #notsayingpeace #notshowingvictrorysign #justsayingcheese #wishhewastgay #casanova #heartstealer #heartcapturer #OmG #promdatecrisis #mymom #Nojotocomedy #letsmakeout #aftergettingdrunk #tomcruise #hotmen #CATchmeifyoucan #50shadesofgrey #runawaybride #hairdyer #CAT #Tennis #Tennisjokes #hotsoccercoach #tastycook #devilsangel #discoveringnewpeaks #Dance #cupcakelove #goingbehindtrainersinstruction #angelwithhorn #whatagirlwishaboutherdog #whatapetdogwish #crazycatlady #whencatcrazebecomeextreme #fashiondesignergonecrazywithanimalright #shiveringwithexcitement #shiveringwithlove #ecentricfashiondesigner #ecentricphotographer #crazycatladygochristmassteroid #whensomeoneisdrunkandhigh #nojotonews #painofashopholic #beingromantic #hotexpectation #symtomno1marrigeisboundtofail #hotattitude #romanticcouple #cluelesscouple #itsashallowworld
#groomingformen #timetogetserious
#maidofhonour #horriblemusicians #nextdoorgirl #Music #cutegirl #luckyboyfriend #hottestpowerfulcoupleinfiction #Superman #WonderWoman #poemunderthebluesky #petcatlover #morningbirdpoem
#thegirlwhohatesherlife #girlwhothinkseverythingispretty
#twosquirrelandagirl #ryangosling #crazystupidlove #commongirlfantasy #reunionafterbreakup #boyfriendgirlfriendjokes #happydreams #girlsneedchallangeinrelationship #whatgirlssecretlylike #whenyouwanttostayinbedhuggingyourboyfriend #forbiddenlove #extremeattraction #17thcenturyfrenchroyalwedding #WhyamInotfallinginlove
#WhyamInotfindingaboyfriend #spooning #luckyguy #toocute #oneofthoserelationship #horrormovies #Tattoo #nervousconversationalist #awkwardbff #takinginitiative #whenacouplesmellsogood #pillowtalk #chemistry #poorcluelessboyfriend #commontechproblem #extrememutualbreakup #makingfoodsfromcookingshow#coolselfieinthesummer #lackofcommunication #annoyingcouple #idioticphotoshoot #marmaidjokes #weirdestkidsquestion #Seriouslackofcommunication
#IwishIcanbemydog #peerpressure #exhustingwaitforyourcrushtocallyou #Lovetorture #girlsrighttostalkmen #wink #dolphincoupledrama #happyandinlove #girls #girlsquotes #happybirthday #viratkholi #Shiddat #khwaab #Artwork #share #Comment #follow #Like

2 Love

Because nice guy and nice girls don't exist.

What do I mean by that?

Nice guy is probably going for arrange marriage.

Nice girls aren't allowed to be in a position to be approached by people.

I am talking about Indian situation.

So girls won't notice nice guy.

So don't have false hope.

There is another option.

What is your aim?

Do you want to fuck or do you want to fall in love?

If you want to fuck then unfortunately in India, options will be limited, so accept rejection as the normal and acceptance as exception.

There's no other way in India.

If your aim is to fall in love then don't go for girls that you find attracted to, instead go for the girls that you aren't interested and approach for talking and basically in anything. Results are very simple. She won't be interested in you. But you will be confident in talking to girls.

Now do this to more women whom you are not attracted.

Now after a while, you will feel comfortable with yourself around girls.

Now don't go for the girls you immediately attracted to but instead a select a group of girls whom you are attracted. Now go talk to them and try to make them interested in you while just having conversations. Rejection will be paramount here.

After a while, you won't feel intimidated or nervous around girls that you find attractive. And you won't be afraid of rejection because you would feel good about yourself that you atleast can talk to girls. Your feeling good about yourself will help you diminish fear of rejection and you would get used to rejection. Your ideas about soulmate or perfect girl will diminish from your mind unknowingly.

Chances are that you will have some sort of success.

Even if you aren't, it doesn't matter. Because you are an experienced man now.

Now approach the particular girl that you intialy wanted to talk to.

You would feel relax around her.

There's better chance that she will like you.

Now if that doesn't happen atleast now you know how to handle yourself infront of girls.

You won't care so much about rejection and you won't put girls on pedestal. Hence, you will have certain cold heart around girls. This is good for you because this can help you move on better after rejection.

You definitely will find a girl through talking which wasn't the case before.

This is what I learnt from my experience and it definitely works.

Now look how I talked about rejection and rejection and that because of thinking worst case scenario as most often you will have success :D

My advice is to you, don't be good guy or bad guy, be a realistic adaptable guy who knows how to handle girls.

#girlfantasy #Nojotocomedy #RIPStanLee #nojoto #Pyar #Relationship #nojotophotography #rain #nojotodigitalart #Thoughts #Photography #nojotovideo #shayri #Dil #Se #nojotoofficial #Fun #Nojotovoice #hindipoetry #poetryinhindi #nojotoenglish #nojotohindi #cutefactory #Love #pinkmania #Art #Paint #rain #Gif #RehneDe #feelings #DigitalArt #Movie #Quotes #Sketch #Fitness #lloveyou #BreakUp #HeartBreak #Lovebites #shopholic #narcissistic #jokes #footballjokes #soccer #Sports #CR7 #Notebook #attentionseeker #everreadyforpose #whateverywomanwanttohear #teasingishot #awkwardcoffeedrinking #brainfreeze #whattypeofgirlami #notsayingpeace #notshowingvictrorysign #justsayingcheese #wishhewastgay #casanova #heartstealer #heartcapturer #OmG #promdatecrisis #mymom #Nojotocomedy #letsmakeout #aftergettingdrunk #tomcruise #hotmen #CATchmeifyoucan #50shadesofgrey #runawaybride #hairdyer #CAT #Tennis #Tennisjokes #hotsoccercoach #tastycook #devilsangel #discoveringnewpeaks #Dance #cupcakelove #goingbehindtrainersinstruction #angelwithhorn #whatagirlwishaboutherdog #whatapetdogwish #crazycatlady #whencatcrazebecomeextreme #fashiondesignergonecrazywithanimalright #shiveringwithexcitement #shiveringwithlove #ecentricfashiondesigner #ecentricphotographer #crazycatladygochristmassteroid #whensomeoneisdrunkandhigh #nojotonews #painofashopholic #beingromantic #hotexpectation #symtomno1marrigeisboundtofail #hotattitude #romanticcouple #cluelesscouple #itsashallowworld
#groomingformen #timetogetserious
#maidofhonour #horriblemusicians #nextdoorgirl #Music #cutegirl #luckyboyfriend #hottestpowerfulcoupleinfiction #Superman #WonderWoman #poemunderthebluesky #petcatlover #morningbirdpoem
#thegirlwhohatesherlife #girlwhothinkseverythingispretty
#twosquirrelandagirl #ryangosling #crazystupidlove #commongirlfantasy #reunionafterbreakup #boyfriendgirlfriendjokes #happydreams #girlsneedchallangeinrelationship #whatgirlssecretlylike #whenyouwanttostayinbedhuggingyourboyfriend #forbiddenlove #extremeattraction #17thcenturyfrenchroyalwedding #WhyamInotfallinginlove
#WhyamInotfindingaboyfriend #spooning #luckyguy #toocute #oneofthoserelationship #horrormovies #Tattoo #nervousconversationalist #awkwardbff #takinginitiative #whenacouplesmellsogood #pillowtalk #chemistry #poorcluelessboyfriend #commontechproblem #extrememutualbreakup #makingfoodsfromcookingshow#coolselfieinthesummer #lackofcommunication #annoyingcouple #idioticphotoshoot #marmaidjokes #weirdestkidsquestion #Seriouslackofcommunication
#IwishIcanbemydog #peerpressure #exhustingwaitforyourcrushtocallyou #Lovetorture #girlsrighttostalkmen #wink #dolphincoupledrama #happyandinlove #girls #girlsquotes #happybirthday #viratkholi #Shiddat #khwaab #Artwork #share #Comment #follow #Like

4 Love
People say I'm cool
Ya, I'm a cool chick, baby
Every day I thank God
That I'm such a cool chick, baby

When I'm on the phone, I thank God
My voice sounds smooth and clear without a trace of tear
When I'm at work, I thank God
I still have that smile Ma used to say lit her day

But something inside me
Something inside me died that day

People say I'm cool
Ya, I'm a cool chick, baby
Every day I thank God
That I'm such a cool chick, baby

A friend lent me shades so I could
Hide my eyes that day
It was a snowy day, the shades have seen
A lot of things, I don't wanna know myself

Was like an accident, part of growing up
People tell me
But something inside me
Something inside me died that day

People say I'm cool
Ya, I'm a cool chick, baby
Every day I thank God
That I'm such a cool chick, baby

When I'm on the phone, I thank God
My voice sounds smooth and clear without a trace of tear
When I'm at work, I thank God
I still have that smile Ma used to say lit her day

 

9 Love
1 Share

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Some people ask: “Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?” Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women. The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations. Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture. We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women. I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be. A woman at a certain age who is unmarried, our society teaches her to see it as a deep personal failure. And a man, after a certain age isn’t married, we just think he hasn’t come around to making his pick. We teach girls shame. “Close your legs. Cover yourself.” We make them feel as though being born female they’re already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up — and this is the worst thing we do to girls — they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice. I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change. But I am also hopeful, because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to remake themselves for the better. Many acquaintances of mine asked me if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me. I was not worried at all—it had not even occurred to me to be worried, because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.

4 Love
1 Share
Hello everyone 
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We are confident in the quality of our services, 
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Hello everyone
At our association we can help you obtain/order/Purchase And original/verifiable/genuine ielts, toelf, gmat, gre, pte,visa, nebosh, esol, toeic, celta/delta passport, certificates without taking/attending the exam/test. We are a group of Teachers and Examiners Working in various centers like British council, IDP centers, Ets, Gmat, Nebosh Etc... and we have teamed up to form a wide organisation with the sole interest of providing reliable services for all our customers In Documentation and Travel consultancy. WhatsApp............WhatsApp...........+237650862831
Email..................(certificatessuccess@yahoo.com)

Want to Improve your Band score for Ielts/Toelf/Gmat/Gre/Pte/Nebosh ?

Need Ielts/Toelf/Gmat/Gre/Pte/Nebosh Etc certificate urgently in Australia, Saudi Arabia, Oman, Lebanon, Qatar, Canada, India, Dubai, Iran, Pakistan, Belarus, Kuwait, Germany, France, Egypt, Russia, Malaysia, UAE, Jordan, Yemen, Iraq, China, UK, USA, New Zealand, Afghanistan, Phillipines, signapor, Brazil, Hungary, Japan, Anywhere... From British council or IDP official without taking/attending the test/exam ? Contact us if interested Our Group of Staff will be devoted in their mission and treat each case as very important.

WhatsApp...........+237650862831
Email..................(certificatessuccess@yahoo.com)

Our Services:

1- we provide Official certificate with registration into the database and actual center stamps for customers interested in obtaining the certificate without taking the test.

2- If you already took the test and it less than a month that you took the test, we can update the results obtained in your previous test to provide you with a new certificate with the updated results for you to follow you PR procedures without any risk.

3- we can provide Question papers for future test before the actual test date. the questionnaires will be issued about 6 to 10 days before the test data and will be 100% same questions that will appear in the test. guaranteed at 100%.

4- We are teachers and examination officials working together as team so you can choice any of our proffessional to go in for the exams on your behalf

5- You can register for your exams and go in for but we shall provide your target scores as you request because we have underground partners working at any center test which give us access into the system.

6- We equally assist our clients by sending recommendation letters to well known

educational institution or enterprises offering employment abroad in Canada, UK,

USA, Australia, NEW Zealand and others in order to give you a kick start for your

future.

7- We Can Get You A second Chance In Life with New Identity to protect your privacy, build new credit history, bypass criminal background checks, take back your freedom. Apply for real register Passport ,Visa, Driving License, ID CARDS, marriage certificates,diplomas, working permit, resident permit, etc

ABOUT US:

>>We are fast, reliable and flexible

>>We are popular and trusted

>>We are highly experienced in documentation

>>We have excellent pass into database.

Our organisation is well connected with various "INSIDE MEN"
In the database
managers and test centers, which enables us to register your scores in any ielts

center around the world . All our certificates are original and British Council

certified. If you want to make an inquiry please use below details to contact us.

WhatsApp...........+237650862831
SPONSORED .................(certificatessuccess@yahoo.com)

YOUTUBE ::::
https://youtu.be/ocR5zr8MFJ8

We are confident in the quality of our services,
Thanks for
understanding
[Certificatessuccess team]

10 Love

Because nice guy and nice girls don't exist.

What do I mean by that?

Nice guy is probably going for arrange marriage.

Nice girls aren't allowed to be in a position to be approached by people.

I am talking about Indian situation.

So girls won't notice nice guy.

So don't have false hope.

There is another option.

What is your aim?

Do you want to fuck or do you want to fall in love?

If you want to fuck then unfortunately in India, options will be limited, so accept rejection as the normal and acceptance as exception.

There's no other way in India.

If your aim is to fall in love then don't go for girls that you find attracted to, instead go for the girls that you aren't interested and approach for talking and basically in anything. Results are very simple. She won't be interested in you. But you will be confident in talking to girls.

Now do this to more women whom you are not attracted.

Now after a while, you will feel comfortable with yourself around girls.

Now don't go for the girls you immediately attracted to but instead a select a group of girls whom you are attracted. Now go talk to them and try to make them interested in you while just having conversations. Rejection will be paramount here.

After a while, you won't feel intimidated or nervous around girls that you find attractive. And you won't be afraid of rejection because you would feel good about yourself that you atleast can talk to girls. Your feeling good about yourself will help you diminish fear of rejection and you would get used to rejection. Your ideas about soulmate or perfect girl will diminish from your mind unknowingly.

Chances are that you will have some sort of success.

Even if you aren't, it doesn't matter. Because you are an experienced man now.

Now approach the particular girl that you intialy wanted to talk to.

You would feel relax around her.

There's better chance that she will like you.

Now if that doesn't happen atleast now you know how to handle yourself infront of girls.

You won't care so much about rejection and you won't put girls on pedestal. Hence, you will have certain cold heart around girls. This is good for you because this can help you move on better after rejection.

You definitely will find a girl through talking which wasn't the case before.

This is what I learnt from my experience and it definitely works.

Now look how I talked about rejection and rejection and that because of thinking worst case scenario as most often you will have success :D

My advice is to you, don't be good guy or bad guy, be a realistic adaptable guy who knows how to handle girls.

#girlfantasy #Nojotocomedy #RIPStanLee #nojoto #Pyar #Relationship #nojotophotography #rain #nojotodigitalart #Thoughts #Photography #nojotovideo #shayri #Dil #Se #nojotoofficial #Fun #Nojotovoice #hindipoetry #poetryinhindi #nojotoenglish #nojotohindi #cutefactory #Love #pinkmania #Art #Paint #rain #Gif #RehneDe #feelings #DigitalArt #Movie #Quotes #Sketch #Fitness #lloveyou #BreakUp #HeartBreak #Lovebites #shopholic #narcissistic #jokes #footballjokes #soccer #Sports #CR7 #Notebook #attentionseeker #everreadyforpose #whateverywomanwanttohear #teasingishot #awkwardcoffeedrinking #brainfreeze #whattypeofgirlami #notsayingpeace #notshowingvictrorysign #justsayingcheese #wishhewastgay #casanova #heartstealer #heartcapturer #OmG #promdatecrisis #mymom #Nojotocomedy #letsmakeout #aftergettingdrunk #tomcruise #hotmen #CATchmeifyoucan #50shadesofgrey #runawaybride #hairdyer #CAT #Tennis #Tennisjokes #hotsoccercoach #tastycook #devilsangel #discoveringnewpeaks #Dance #cupcakelove #goingbehindtrainersinstruction #angelwithhorn #whatagirlwishaboutherdog #whatapetdogwish #crazycatlady #whencatcrazebecomeextreme #fashiondesignergonecrazywithanimalright #shiveringwithexcitement #shiveringwithlove #ecentricfashiondesigner #ecentricphotographer #crazycatladygochristmassteroid #whensomeoneisdrunkandhigh #nojotonews #painofashopholic #beingromantic #hotexpectation #symtomno1marrigeisboundtofail #hotattitude #romanticcouple #cluelesscouple #itsashallowworld
#groomingformen #timetogetserious
#maidofhonour #horriblemusicians #nextdoorgirl #Music #cutegirl #luckyboyfriend #hottestpowerfulcoupleinfiction #Superman #WonderWoman #poemunderthebluesky #petcatlover #morningbirdpoem
#thegirlwhohatesherlife #girlwhothinkseverythingispretty
#twosquirrelandagirl #ryangosling #crazystupidlove #commongirlfantasy #reunionafterbreakup #boyfriendgirlfriendjokes #happydreams #girlsneedchallangeinrelationship #whatgirlssecretlylike #whenyouwanttostayinbedhuggingyourboyfriend #forbiddenlove #extremeattraction #17thcenturyfrenchroyalwedding #WhyamInotfallinginlove
#WhyamInotfindingaboyfriend #spooning #luckyguy #toocute #oneofthoserelationship #horrormovies #Tattoo #nervousconversationalist #awkwardbff #takinginitiative #whenacouplesmellsogood #pillowtalk #chemistry #poorcluelessboyfriend #commontechproblem #extrememutualbreakup #makingfoodsfromcookingshow#coolselfieinthesummer #lackofcommunication #annoyingcouple #idioticphotoshoot #marmaidjokes #weirdestkidsquestion #Seriouslackofcommunication
#IwishIcanbemydog #peerpressure #exhustingwaitforyourcrushtocallyou #Lovetorture #girlsrighttostalkmen #wink #dolphincoupledrama #happyandinlove #girls #girlsquotes #happybirthday #viratkholi #Shiddat #khwaab #Artwork #share #Comment #follow #Like

2 Love

Because nice guy and nice girls don't exist.

What do I mean by that?

Nice guy is probably going for arrange marriage.

Nice girls aren't allowed to be in a position to be approached by people.

I am talking about Indian situation.

So girls won't notice nice guy.

So don't have false hope.

There is another option.

What is your aim?

Do you want to fuck or do you want to fall in love?

If you want to fuck then unfortunately in India, options will be limited, so accept rejection as the normal and acceptance as exception.

There's no other way in India.

If your aim is to fall in love then don't go for girls that you find attracted to, instead go for the girls that you aren't interested and approach for talking and basically in anything. Results are very simple. She won't be interested in you. But you will be confident in talking to girls.

Now do this to more women whom you are not attracted.

Now after a while, you will feel comfortable with yourself around girls.

Now don't go for the girls you immediately attracted to but instead a select a group of girls whom you are attracted. Now go talk to them and try to make them interested in you while just having conversations. Rejection will be paramount here.

After a while, you won't feel intimidated or nervous around girls that you find attractive. And you won't be afraid of rejection because you would feel good about yourself that you atleast can talk to girls. Your feeling good about yourself will help you diminish fear of rejection and you would get used to rejection. Your ideas about soulmate or perfect girl will diminish from your mind unknowingly.

Chances are that you will have some sort of success.

Even if you aren't, it doesn't matter. Because you are an experienced man now.

Now approach the particular girl that you intialy wanted to talk to.

You would feel relax around her.

There's better chance that she will like you.

Now if that doesn't happen atleast now you know how to handle yourself infront of girls.

You won't care so much about rejection and you won't put girls on pedestal. Hence, you will have certain cold heart around girls. This is good for you because this can help you move on better after rejection.

You definitely will find a girl through talking which wasn't the case before.

This is what I learnt from my experience and it definitely works.

Now look how I talked about rejection and rejection and that because of thinking worst case scenario as most often you will have success :D

My advice is to you, don't be good guy or bad guy, be a realistic adaptable guy who knows how to handle girls.

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4 Love
People say I'm cool
Ya, I'm a cool chick, baby
Every day I thank God
That I'm such a cool chick, baby

When I'm on the phone, I thank God
My voice sounds smooth and clear without a trace of tear
When I'm at work, I thank God
I still have that smile Ma used to say lit her day

But something inside me
Something inside me died that day

People say I'm cool
Ya, I'm a cool chick, baby
Every day I thank God
That I'm such a cool chick, baby

A friend lent me shades so I could
Hide my eyes that day
It was a snowy day, the shades have seen
A lot of things, I don't wanna know myself

Was like an accident, part of growing up
People tell me
But something inside me
Something inside me died that day

People say I'm cool
Ya, I'm a cool chick, baby
Every day I thank God
That I'm such a cool chick, baby

When I'm on the phone, I thank God
My voice sounds smooth and clear without a trace of tear
When I'm at work, I thank God
I still have that smile Ma used to say lit her day

 

9 Love
1 Share

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Some people ask: “Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?” Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women. The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations. Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture. We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women. I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be. A woman at a certain age who is unmarried, our society teaches her to see it as a deep personal failure. And a man, after a certain age isn’t married, we just think he hasn’t come around to making his pick. We teach girls shame. “Close your legs. Cover yourself.” We make them feel as though being born female they’re already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up — and this is the worst thing we do to girls — they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice. I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change. But I am also hopeful, because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to remake themselves for the better. Many acquaintances of mine asked me if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me. I was not worried at all—it had not even occurred to me to be worried, because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.

4 Love
1 Share
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10 Love