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Why am I starting to feel like nothing makes me happy anymore?

You have started to feel that now?

This is a fact which all of us must be aware of!
“No-thing makes us happy”
Because if things make us happy, it's not happiness but a short term pleasure.

Happiness is an overall feeling of well being, pride in existence, an aura of good memoriesand good deeds, feeling good about your life.

To feel happy, you need to-

Deviate focus from external environment and connect with your innerself.Value your existence, which is the biggest achievement.Be strong in your decisions so that past failures don't keep hitting you.Have focus on the people you love.You must spend time alone to know what exactly you want in life, your passion, your aims, and to give away any false rat race you are being part of.Be honest in your virtues so that there is no feeling of guilt.Keep helping people in genuine need which gives you an amazing level of positivity and confidence.Find out all sources of negativity in life and work hard to eliminate them.

Happiness is an overall feeling, similar to the feeling of being alive, it can't be attained through a particular measure but through positive thoughts and a good conduct in life.

#why #Am #i #starting #to #Feel #Like #nothing #makes #me #Happy #anymore??

“#No-
#thing #makes #us #Happy

Because if things make us happy, it's not happiness but a short term pleasure.

Happiness is an overall feeling of well being, pride in existence, an aura of good memoriesand good deeds, feeling good about your life.

To feel happy, you need to-

Deviate focus from external environment and connect with your innerself.Value your existence, which is the biggest achievement.
Be strong in your decisions so that past failures don't keep hitting you.
Have focus on the people you love.
You must spend time alone to know what exactly you want in life, your passion, your aims, and to give away any false rat race you are being part of.
Be honest in your virtues so that there is no feeling of guilt.
Keep helping people in genuine need which gives you an amazing level of positivity and confidence.
Find out all sources of negativity in life and work hard to eliminate them.

Happiness is an overall feeling, similar to the feeling of being alive, it can't be attained through a particular measure but through positive thoughts and a good conduct in life.

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Should I cry on e again...
What you want ohh dear sun shine...
I am feeling like except on me,
you are flowing like a blessing on everyone,
Why did I do it again...
Why didn't you stop me from being insane...
What should I do...You think...
Just tell me with an eye blink...
Till yesterday I was feeling I can win the whole world...
you left me alone once again...
I am feeling so broken...
Like I don't have anyone...
This story quite interesting...
but I just wants to know what were you testing...
Whether there is still a heart to cry...
am I still alive to take that pain...
You wanted to know again...
who I have been became...
Ohh you were right...
I was feeling intact,
that's why you wanted to test my heart again.
Ok let me declare try once more...
Yes I can still feel alive little more,
with all that pain....
I am still dedicated to your horizon,
I still wants to live once more again,
I don't wants to die with all that pain,
I wants to die with a smile in my face,
Which would be saying I am the best.
Yes I will trust everyone you send back,
I won't let my humanity to end there, trustworthy somehow...
But I believe humanity exist...
Some will understand  one day I was not fake,
And that's most important for me.
Tes it may happen,
Someone will lie,
it will happen that all won't ne of that

#Nojoto #mystory #mylife #AloneEnough #ThankingToTheUniverseForLettingMeFindMyPassion
#ANewBeginningToLife #Cheers
#Life #Love #Passion and your #Destination #ILoveMe #nojotoenglish #TheLengthiestPoem #feelingblessed #RM

Should I cry once again...
What you want ohh dear sun shine...
I am feeling like except on me,
you are flowing like a blessing on everyone,
Why did I do it again...
Why didn't you stop me from being insane...
What should I do...You think...
Just tell me with an eye blink...
Till yesterday I was feeling I can win the whole world...
you left me alone once again...
I am feeling so broken...
Like I don't have anyone...
This story was quite interesting...
but I just wants to know what were you testing...
Whether there is still a heart to cry...
am I still alive to take that pain and try...
You wanted to know again...
who I have been became...
Ohh you were right...
I was feeling intact,
that's why you wanted to test my heart again.
Ok let me declare try once more...
Yes I can still feel alive little more,
with all that pain....
I am still dedicated to your horizon,
I still wants to live once more again,
I don't wants to die with all that pain,
I wants to die with a smile in my face,
Which would be saying I am the best.
Yes I will trust everyone you send back in my life,
I won't let my humanity to end there...
whether someone is trustworthy or not... whether someone tells the truth or lie me once more...
But I will believe in humanity...
Oh my dear life...
At every moment... in your every inch...
I should not be fake with me,
that matters the most for me to thrive...
Yes... whether the world comes or goes around...
Whether someone stays or not there for me anywhere anytime...
But I will run with that single purpose of my life,
With that single thought that excites me the most,
With that single reason I am feeling I have been born,
with that single nature of mine as a human...
and I won't waste a single bit of time...
on what happened, and what supposed to happen...
There is a whole world waiting eagerly for my skills to let unchain...
I will step into it, with no doubt and clarity of mind...
Because after years I have found who am I and what I love most doing and how I can...😄
Life is beautiful once again...
whether there is anyone or not behind your back bone...
If you know what's your passion,
destination...
and you are in your way to be there being insane.

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Never In My Wildest Dreams

You came into my world like high beams on some two lane highway in the middle of a desert night; just as I lost the fight between thirty more miles and pulling over for a nap until sunrise. Fracturing my momentary dream into a million pieces of panic and surprise as your light burned through the lids of my eyes and your horn’s noise grabbed at nerves that shook my insides alive.

I remember the giant halo of your glow and light coming head on, the fog in my brain was overwhelming, as muscle memory spurred both hands and they registered on the wheel. My grasp was wrapped tight and pulled sharply, sending me into a wrenching swerve; a sudden desperate attempt to avoid our impending collision, as you careened head long my way. In the moments that came, I couldn’t tell if you were slowing or attempting to avoid the obstruction of my vehicle that had wondered into your lane. I only knew the fear as my life flashed before my frozen, bulging eyes. I felt my knuckles strain, threatening to rip flesh, as they pulled against the tension of my grasp on the wheel.

I remember feeling my knee slam under the dash as terror took me and I over compensated. With pang in knee, I stabbed my foot back down at the break. I remember the feeling of gravity shift as my vehicle began to swerve and my body flatten into the door panel as I began the fight to regain control of my vehicle, careening down that lonely highway.

I remember my body recognized and felt something I couldn’t have truly felt. At least something felt different, this specific time, than any other before or after. Both the fear of loosing control and this new feeling are forever linked somehow. It was something I felt as my shoulder pressed into the drivers side door panel: the feel of the gravel beneath my tires, not in the normal sense of peeling out, or hot rodding around a turn, or when you are navigating a gravel incline and a tire slips, spinning a bit. But, I remember feeling every, single, piece, of gravel, as my tires slid over them, like they were brail desperately attempting to be read by someone with an untrained hand.

And suddenly, I remember, I was fighting gravity to avoid being thrown into the empty passenger seat next to me; with the dutiful assistance of my seat belt I remained square in seat. By this point my perspiration was beading at my brow and my palms were slick and damp. The smell filling my nose was terrible: rubber skidding across tar and the metal chemical burn of clutch mixed with burning metallic fumes of locked, red hot breaks. The noxious smoke produced from the instant tire tread wear of tires attempting to grapple with the texture of pavement at sixty miles per hour and the dust thrown up from the narrow desert road was thick in the air as my vehicle began to spin violently. This must have been one of my wildest dreams.

Your tail lights passed by my view out the front windshield a few times before I came to a slow, lazy roll backwards, eventually coming to a halt on the pavement; vision now dizzy and disoriented. My motion had not stopped however. The spinning had turned my head into one of those twirling carnival rides and transformed my extremities into shaking nerve noodles, who’s vibration emanated from my core.

Regaining my composure, I found myself immediately worried about who I had almost collided with and what state they were in; my concern seemingly met with reply as your hazard lights lit up from the tail lights of your vehicle ahead. I remember blood pumping in my temples as I raced toward your vehicle, grateful to be alive, and grateful you were still on the road and in one piece as well. Closing the distance to your flashing hazards just hoping you were okay. I felt embarrassed and foolish for putting myself, and you, at risk not stopping a few miles back. I prayed you were not scared or upset with me. Not knowing what to expect as I slowed to a jog nearing your vehicle, I took in the details of the multiple spins my vehicle completed as it whipped round and round directly down the center of the highway. I took in the sight of fresh tread on the pavement left by my tires, scrawled like a signature of some artist signing their work of near miss.

I remember as I looked up again to where your vehicle had come to a stop, that you too where now running my direction. As we approached each other I could tell we both did a quick visual assessment of each other, our vehicles, the tire tread scrawl on the road. We asked each other if the other was okay and learned no harm had come to the other other than shaken nerves and a bit of embarrassment on my part.

I remember hearing your laugh for the first time as we sat on the side of that highway in the middle of the night and lost track of time. We talked about everything, and nothing, as we watched the stars and smiled at each other honestly. Morning came faster than either of us expected announcing it’s a rival gloriously. The sunrise was exceptionally beautiful that morning. As we peacefully watched, finally pausing in conversation for the first time since we met, we took in it’s orange, blue, yellow, and pink shifting colors sharing glances at each other now and then, smiles and blushing cheeks as we did.

As the morning sun’s heat set upon our skin and the brightness of the desert view began to become overwhelming you turned to me with a smile. I remember taking your business card and the electricity fire through my fingertips as our hands touched for the first time.

Your touch felt so exotic then, like some distant land I had read a million books about and knew every detail of but had only learned from in the texts written in those pages. I imagine I looked like an adventurer, captivated and in awe, as they stepped of an old steam engine train onto a new landscape. Amusing the locals watching a new traveler standing starstruck seeing, smelling, and feeling the foreign environment they had read so much about but were only experiencing in person for the first time.

As I put your business card into my wallet, so many unknown feelings and pressing questions that I wanted to ask you were coming to my head fighting each other for place in line and internally pleading for one more second of your time. They were interrupted by one major new question I hadn’t considered so distracted by my internal conflict.

When would I would see you again? This question was followed by an even larger: Would I see you again? I was so caught off guard at their staggering weight I remember feeling intimidated by how much it meant to me. I chickened out. I didn’t ask and though in that moment didn’t know what to do with myself, or my shaken emotions, as we said our good byes.

Before you turned to depart I managed to make sure you too had my number and awkwardly, shuffled back, half facing you, half trying to walk away. I could tell you noticed in the words your smile always seemed to hold.

I remember you driving away and the stress I felt realizing we were going in opposite directions for the first time since we met and how something immediately felt missing in my world. I remember kicking myself not wanting to end up just some guy who you met and called you down the road or being just a story of a time you almost got hit head on by some guy in the middle a desert one night. A bit late, but just in time, I buckled my seat belt and decided not to become that guy. I threw my vehicle in drive and accelerated after you. Headed in your direction for the first time.

My heart raced as I drove fast to catch up to your vehicle once again and as I pulled up behind you, obnoxiously got your attention with my horn and the flashing of my lights. I couldn’t believe I had chased after you like a crazy! What would you think of this? Was I crazy?

As you stepped out of your vehicle your beauty was staggering and I confidently acknowledged, almost applauded myself; I had made the right decision. I jogged up to you on the pavement of that two lane highway and blurted out “When will I see you again?!”. Your laugh told me everything as it often did, I would learn.

I canceling my plans, my new job would have to wait, or I’d find a new one when I got to my destination. I suddenly had you placed at the center of my life’s main screen and didn’t for one second consider what else was on outside in my periphery. Everything seemed like it mattered just a little bit less than the focus my mind found when trained on you. I spent the day with you, headed in your direction. We played, both lost in the world together, on a new adventure, and loving every moment of it.

By that evening I was already in love, and knew it as for the first time I watched the sunset reflect forever in your eyes. I will never in my wildest dreams forget your smile when I admitted my love to you as we watched those stars again, together, that second night.

I also remember how we really met, and this isn’t it! Not even close! But it sure could have been. I mean, some things are similar to how we met all those years ago. You do remember don’t you?

The night we first met we were hurling in each other’s direction at a million miles per hour and barely missed colliding. That near miss put us into permanent dance as we orbited each other - dancing in and out of each other’s life, always friends, lovers, strangers, family; whatever we needed to be for the other at that specific moment in time. The first night we met I knew I had met the most amazing woman and I couldn’t believe that I had finally found you; never in my wildest dreams did I think you were really out there.

We did watch the stars and talked until the sun came up. We also spent the next day playing together and I really did watch the sunset reflect forever in your eyes. I did fall in love with you, only immediately, almost at first sight.

My love switch flipped the very moment you said “Hiiii” that way you did. Your mysterious brown eyes - strands coloring them wonderful, as your cheeks smiled for days. They reached into me latching onto my heart and I did not resist the comfort of your grasp. There was just something so familiar in the way you drew me in and made a place for me in your world. I felt like I had seen this smile of yours before somewhere and it belonged right after that “Hiiii”, and right in front of me. There was also something so familiar in the way you said my name, always smiling, you giggled a lot more back then.

I chased after you and that smile, following the echoes of that giggle from that moment on without any regret and loved every moment you chased me back laughing as we played. I remember how grateful I was getting to know you, and how grateful I always will be to have spent all the moments we shared through the years, building our story. The rest of that story and how we really first met is ours. A story to be remembered another time I think.


I remember the many other things that are similar in the story I have told but happened completely differently, to a completely different moment, in a completely different part of our story that I’d like to share in this letter to you. I think it is supposed to help...telling you these things, we always shared our deepest feelings with each other and It’s hard holding them all by myself. I’m working on it, love, I promised. Writing these letters to you and the chapters of our time together contained within.
In this part of our story, the true part of this story, and part of our chapters I’m sharing in this letter is a moment where I remember a collision that happened head on and it all started with a phone call.

I remember we were both asleep at the wheel and wholly unprepared as I raced down the highway to you. I remember how sudden the impact came after I reached your side. I remember the pain and jarring as your light in my world, that light that engulfed my vision completely, was in a moment no longer present. I remember my confusion as my momentum came to a complete, and immediate, stop. I remember that I didn’t even have time to scream or brace myself as everything in my world shattered in a devastating explosion and all it’s shiny pieces showered into the air around me. I remember that I didn’t even have both hands on the wheel as my life turned upside down. I remember that there was no seat belt to fasten me in as my breath choked in my throat, stalled, as if suspended mid air.

I remember the look, taste, sound, smell, touch, and feeling of every, single, thing, in that hospital room. I remember the smell of my tears in your hair. I remember how soft your skin was and that your fingernails were not painted like they normally were as I held your hand. I remember the feeling of my nerves as they achieved complete pandaemonium within me. I remember I was trembling as I struggled to breath between crying, then breathing, then crying, tasting the snot running from my nose mixed with the salt that clung to my face as I sat at your side. I remember hearing the sobs in the room as your heart rate monitor stopped blinking. I remember that exact moment you left me. I remember all of the feelings I felt at that moment as my emotions burned deep within and imprinted them as if by brand, permanently emblazoned on my soul. I remember not having the words for them then and I still do not have words for them now.

I remember every single detail, reflected in the pieces of my world as they crashed to the polished surface of the tiny room’s grey and white checkered tile floor. I remember that for the first time in a long time we were no longer running toward each other, or in the same direction together, and you weren’t there to make sure I was okay. I remember praying that you would be okay but my heart didn’t hear the echo of yours anymore to be sure. I remember hoping you were not lonely just minutes after you left and began crying: differently, because I didn’t know how to be there for you like I promised I always would be. I remember wanting so badly to chase after you, especially in the months that followed your funeral to keep that promise I made. I remember wanting to make sure you weren’t alone and be by your side as you took off on this new adventure to make sure you got under way okay. I remember trying to lighten my mood and joke about you making a new friend jealous, telling them about a guy that loved you unconditionally in another life. But, I remembered I could not chase you this time; I couldn’t be there to hold you if you happened to fall in love with him and he broke your heart. There was no catching up to you minutes down the road, just to see your smile again and hear you laugh at me for being silly. There was no way to pick you up off the ground and piece your heart back together with pieces of mine if it was broken this time.

I can only hope you receive all the letters like this one and that you are able to answer my call when I get home. We can meet in the middle of some two lane highway in the clouds, talking about life down below, or everything, or nothing, and laugh at the concept of time.

I can’t wait for that moment I see you again and we can remember all the years since the night we first met and remind each other how that story really went. I want so badly to be reminded exactly how it feels seeing the sunset reflect forever in your eyes like I used to.

I remember you every single day and wrote this letter to remind you: that more than anything, I patiently wait to learn how we finish our story, because never in my wildest dreams, could these stars be as beautiful as I remember, all those moments, I spent watching them with you.

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After detaching you may made some promises with someone
But the love like us may not be with you once more..
No one become mad on you like me...
No one become sick like me after your escaping..
That's why I tell you 
Don't fed her with your hands..
Don't play with her fingers..
Don't let her to hold your arms..
Don't fell asleep on her lap..
Don't let her sleep on your shoulder...
As now I have forgotten you
Don't come in life once more....

But if we met again coincidentally
Reminding my love don't cry 
As the mistake was yours in our separation..
To prove you are right don't try to make me understand your mistakes..
Now when our eyes will meet don't steal it
How you cried for me after every walking separation don't do it...
Don't make this girl again fall for you..
As now I have forgotten you
Don't come in life once more....

Did you remembered 
you don't replied me after seeing the messages...
Now let me know you I have also now stock of unseen messages..
Try to remember that time when I wrote poems for you, becomes mad for you...
Lost my full love on you.. 
In rewards you have given me the gift of betraying...
Now I have understood that it sucks so will not 
 become mad for anyone..
let a simple guy to make the God..
 make head down in front of anyone
To accept my love will nit fall in front of you
will not loose myself on anyone in terms of love, relationship, feelings..
As now I have forgotten you
Don't come in life once more....

 

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After Break up...
🌹

She found herself in a circular prison, crying, shouting. It's very dark all around. She can't hear anything or see anything around. She is in spot light. She is tiered enough, trying to break  at least one of the rods. She can escape easily after that, so she is trying hard, her best you can say. She is swetting badly, fully frustrated... She needs air to breathe and may be feeling hungry too. But at present...it would be more than enough if she could just escape. She has forgotten everything else. She is like trying to do that for few days now... feeling very weak... She fell down unconsciously. By the time she became concious, her boyfriend is making her drink the last water drops from a bottle... sitting outside the cage. She didn't get...is it a dream or he is really there? How is that possible...he died in an accident exactly two days ago ! She tried to confirm it's him, by touching him. As soon as she tried to touch him...he disappeared. A bright light flew away... showing a tunnel...! She realized she is in a cage in a cave... that is why it is so dark there. She woke up terrified, it's 2 am. Saturday night. She is swetting in a winter night. She immidiately checked her phone...to call her boyfriend, to see if he is alright. She realized they have broke up, it's been two months. They have blocked each other. All the memories of their togetherness flashed in front of her eyes. How he had once said her..." Yes, everyone dies and I will too one day." And she had stopped talking to him for one whole day and he was so sorry after that and he had promised he won't say like that ever again. She had got a special treat too. Now she can't even talk...she is feeling so bad...may be she can't get back to sleep either she felt. It's been a month repeatedly she is seeing such dreams of being in cage or lost somewhere in an unknown place. She has already consulted her best friend, who is a therapist and psychologist too, to help her. She is working with a nutritionist too. It's like she is doing everything she can to get rid of those thoughts and heel her broken heart. Few months back someone was her whole world and now she is feeling so lonely like at times she is feeling lost somewhere in the middle of the crowd.
Shall she call one of her friends or her Mom ? No...not the right time. It was the time she had all rights to disturb a single person but she has lost that right now. She had a glass of water, went to balcony to have some fresh air. She thought she should try to go back to sleep now. She went to bed, started reading a book she had started the day before.

#Nojoto #shortstories #Love #Life #breakupstories #nojotoenglish

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