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13 VR Games That Will BLOW YOUR MIND
Augmented Reality might be experiencing a sudden and somewhat unexpected surge in popularity off the back of the global sensation that is Pokemon: GO!, but in truth the REAL hype train that's actually going places is Virtual Reality, aka VR. This is the next big thing, and not just in a popular title way like Pokemon, but more in an era-defining technology like the introduction of smartphones or the major console generations in gaming.
Yes, VR is the next big thing. There's little disputing this, it's not like smartwatches that were foisted on an unwilling public by over-enthusiastic tech firms. Nope, VR started off softly, softly as independent, ambitious development projects by people just testing the waters and trying to push boundaries. Not much was available at first, but the huge surge in consumer interest in turn caught manufacturer interest BIG TIME; here was a large and feverish consumer base eager to get its hands, heads, and eyeballs on and into the virtual reality space. Cue much understandable bandwagon jumping.
It started with a few outlying projects such as Google Cardboard and the fledgling baby steps of Oculus Rift, but once that latter device started generating more and more buzz the big industry players really sat up and paid attention. By now, we're looking at every major electronics manufacturer having a hand in the VR game; Samsung has the Gear VR, the Oculus Rift is now owned by Facebook, LG has the LG 360 VR, Sony has the PlayStation VR, Razer has the OSVR, and HTC has the Vive.
There's also a plethora of lesser known OEMs creating their own hardware and all vying for your attention, while Google is reportedly working on its own, possibly Nexus branded, VR headset, and also developing Google Daydream as an Android-based VR platform for other OEMs to make use of (mirroring its smartphone business model). Arguably the two most successful devices to hit the market so far have been the HTC Vive and the Oculus Rift.
It is still undoubtedly early days for VR, however, and some believe the medium is unlikely to hit any kind of maturity level to make it a "must-have" item (just like smartphones or major consoles such as the Xbox One and PS4) until at least 2020. But the momentum it has gained already clearly indicates it is here to stay, it is the future, and there's enough enthusiasm already that following the hardware manufacturer scramble to put out devices, there is now a developer scramble to create supporting software. A big chunk of the selection of games and applications available for VR devices released to date are in alpha or beta development stages, and many are available for free to try out ahead of their full launch. Others are using early-access models where you must buy the game at a reduced cost from its expected RRP on full release. Many more are also mere tech demo, proof-of-concept prototypes, and while a bunch of these are free this still doesn't stop some publishers charging you for the privilege. Still, paid or free, the point is there's already a bunch of cool software out there to feast your virtual eyes on.
So without further ado, here is KYM's list of VR games and fun applications you should probably try if you have a VR device. We will strive to keep this list fresh and updated as things develop over time.
Hover Junkers

This one's a bit different - in Hover Junkers you take the role of a scrap scavenger in a kind of post-apocalyptic wasteland. It's a multiplayer arena game and the idea is that the game observes the shape of your defined play area in your room, as picked up by the HTC Vive and designated during your setup process. This play area is your Hover Junker ship which is piloted around the game world, where you'll fight it out with other players using your pistols - during set up you can fortify your ship with physical objects that you need to duck behind for cover during your shoot-outs!Here's the blurb from Steam, where the game is priced at £26.99:
"Engage in multiplayer VR gunfights that capture real gun play like no FPS you've played before. Pilot and fortify Hover Junkers as you physically walk, duck, dodge and aim in cross ship combat."

The Thrill Of The Fight

As the name referencing the classic anthem "Eye Of The Tiger" suggests, The Thrill Of The Fight is a boxing simulator which allows you to get into the ring and slug it out against an opponent. At present it's an early-phase tech-demo with a training session and a single competitor to fight against. Also, right now you can punch and dodge, but not block like your opponent can. As with all indie development projects nothing is concrete, but we've seen talk of a bigger campaign/career mode, with the developer, "fyian", posting on Reddit. They said, "I'm hoping to add in somewhere around 16 opponents total, all with their own unique personalities and attacks."They also added that a blocking mechanic for the player is under consideration. There seems to be a lot of demand for multiplayer but fyian has stated that they think this would be difficult to implement. TTOTF is available as a demo download from the official site but can be found on Stea; it is currently compatible with the HTC Vive. fyian has mentioned that on a commercial release game may be priced at around $7.99.

Spell FighterSpell Fighter is another indie tech-demo developed by Kubold which places you in the role of a kind of quasi-medieval fantasy "witch hunter" type character, think Van Helsing or Solomon Kane. You start off in a village, but exploring will quickly reveal some gribbly zombies and skeletons to deal with. You can defend yourself with a variety of spells, swords, spears, bows, and guns, and also summoning minions. However, the real meat of the game is in venturing out further to find the source of the monster invasion!The game is available for HTC Vive and Oculus Rift and can be installed via Steam.

Raw DataRaw Data is one of the more polished VR gaming experiences we've seen so far. Developed by Servios, it's available as an early-access title on Steam for the HTC Vive. The game's main mode is a co-operative mission where you can team up with another player to defend a location from increasingly tough swarms of killer robots. There's a wide range of weapons on top of your starting pistol and katana sword combination (oh yes), including shotguns, machine guns, and even a bow with explosive arrows. The game also features a competetive "duel" multiplayer mode.
Lightblade VROk, it's called Lightblade VR because it's not an official LucasArts/LucasFilm Star Wars product, but to all intents and purposes Lightblade VR is a Lightsabre simulator. We'll clear something else up straight away too - it doesn't include duelling with enemies or other players, unfortunately - what it does offer though is a spot of Jedi training against one of those little laser shooting drones, just like Luke Skywalker in the first movie. The aim is to deflect the incoming blasts, and you can select a number of difficulty modes from Rookie to Legend. Or if you'd rather you can just piss about waving one or two Lightsabres around, which is really all we're interested in, right? You can even change the colour of each Lightsabre individually. Neat.And yes, it's another Vive game on Steam!
Note that an official Lightsabre game is in development: Trials On Tatooine.

Waltz Of The WizardWaltz Of The Wizard is another sandbox game that may appeal to any Harry Potter fans out there. You play a Wizard at home in his tower. Here you're able to concoct potions, discover and cast spells to alter yourself or the world around you, and explore and interact with both your tower and...other dimensions! This game is free on Steam!
Vanishing Realms

Vanishing Realms is a somewhat cartoony action RPG in the vein of titles such as D&D, Zelda, and Diablo, but being unique for its VR control system. Go dungeon crawling in a 3D fantasy realm to fight skeletons and other monsters with swords, spells, and bows. Available on Steam for the HTC Vive as an early access title for £14.99 (visit the page for video).
Out Of Ammo
Out Of Ammo is a game developed by Dean Hall's (creator of DayZ) new studio RocketWerkz. It's still in development, but the game offers an interesting take on the Tower Defence genre where you are hovering over your base and able to assign soldiers, weapons, and resources to defend it. When things get manic, be prepared to lock-and-load, jumping into the first-person view of one of your soldier minions armed with assault rifles, sniper rifles, and machine gun emplacements. Compatible with the HTC Vive and priced at £14.99 on Steam."Four unique environments to try your skill on
- Construct defenses such as sandbags and watchtowers-Issue orders to your soldiers-Five different kinds of units each with special abilities-Possess any units directly to control their engagement-Call in artillery, airstrikes, and sniper targets-Fixed Machine guns, Grenades, and more"
Elite: DangerousNot so much a "VR game" per-se as it is an established mainstream title that was smartly developed with emerging VR in mind and has now been tweaked to allow compatibility with the Oculus Rift and HTC Vive. Elite: Dangerous' persistent multiplayer universe of intergalactic trading, war, bounty hunting, and piracy is not for the feint-hearted, but who can resist the lure of piloting their own spaceship in glorious, immersive, VR 3D? And with graphics this good as well!
theBlu: Encouter

theBlu: Encounter by Wevr is one of those VR "experiences" which lets you see what it's like getting up close and personal with various types of sea life without the inconvenience of travel, breathing equipment, or getting wet. Whales, fish, jellyfish, and sea anemones are all present for you to ogle, or prod with your virtual fingers (yes they do react).
Universe Sandbox² Pretty much what it says on the tin - Universe Sandbox lets you mess around with the building blocks of astrophysics in the depths of space; create planets, suns, or whole galaxies, form nebulas, build beautiful starmaps and cosmic spacescapes. Or, if youre feeling destructive, smash everything together into supernovas, create the next Big Bang, or chuck it all into a black hole! The game is available via early access on Steam for $24.99/£18.99.
The ClimbYou might have noticed that many of the games in this list are available on the HTC Vive, while a few of them are on the Oculus Rift AND the HTC Vive; it's fair to say the Vive seems to have pretty much taken over as the dominant VR platform for now. However, there are some games out there that were developed for the Oculus Rift first, and which don't appear to have switched to the Vive just yet. The Climb is one such title, and as the name suggests it is a VR climbing simulator, allowing you to scale some impressive cliffs and natural structures in an immersive environment without the worry of actual death! The graphics on this game look amazing, and it's currently only available for the Oculus Rift via the Oculus store; be warned that the devs describe the experience as "intense" and also it's not cheap as VR games go, with a full-retail level price tag of £39.99. That said, it does appear to be a very thoroughly and profressionall developed title. Frankly, we'd be surprised if this game didn't get wider VR device support (including the Gear VR and Vive) at some point.
Zombie Training Simulator

The descriptively titled Zombie Training Simulator is, as expected, a simulator in which you train to fight zombies. Yes. The game has some very fun cartoony graphics similar in to Plants Vs Zombies. Players can choose from a range of different course types, including survival and various trick shooting events such as time trials. You'll start off next to a bench full of weapons, including shotguns, pistols, machine guns, assault rifles, and explosives, which unlock as you kill more and more zombies in the various modes. You can also take advantage of environmental hazards such as gas canisters or petrol cans, and even throw slabs of meat to distract the ravenous hordes temporarily. The zombies themselves are a sort of cardboard cut-out variety to emphasise the "training simulator" aspect (as well as presumably saving on animation time and system resources!). Available on Steam for £14.99 and compatible with the HTC Vive.
Bonus: Tilt Brush VRNot really a game, but it is fun to mess around with. Google's VR proof-of-concept Tilt Brush is a 3D VR painting and creativity suite that literally lets you create virtual 3D sculptures or paintings in a virtual space. Because it's a VR app you can paint and sculpt with all kinds of materials artists might only dream of being able to use - lava, light, rocky earth, fabrics, fire, even snow. Creations can also be set up to be location based, effectively turning your living room into a virtual gallery for your art as VR "installations" viewable when the headset is worn. You can also export your art in more traditonal still images or animated gifs for people who don't have VR.

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These games are too complicated to play,
Somehow I'll get thought this hell anyway.
These games even give me too much stress to endure,
In reality and your games, the difference is so obscure.
The puzzles you're throwing over me are too strenuous,
This mood of mine is going to the heights of being tempestuous.
The rules of your games were way vulnerable from the start,
Soon I'm going to be sick of your games then I'll depart.
Oh Honey, I never thought you'll be jigsaw of my life.
Listen, You'll have to run when I'm finished cause' I've a butcher knife.

Title:- Your games #Nojoto #Love #revenge #games #Quotes #Poetry

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I am raped with eyes

Everyone sees with eyes but who has the guts to rape with it ..
There's no one who can understand it better , I am raped , raped by their eyes , every single day I walk on the street , I am aware of being raped through their eyes !!

Yes , I am raped and I cannot explain how it feels to be raped without being touched , in a crowded bus , I can feel his breath on my neck , his pinch at my back along with a sorry , 60 seconds , On a traffic signal , I can see a bunch of lustful eyes gaping at me . While shopping I can feel him staring down at my shirt , trying ti go through my cleavage .
As if I am a piece of flesh ... he stares my legs , my neck , my every single part , yet I have to greet them with a smile .

I am raped at 7 , at 17 , at 27 even at 70 ... yeah that 18 year boy who waits for him school bus down the roaf , I am aware thar he's looking at me with a smirk . I know he had raped me thrice daily in his imagination from my home to my work . I am raped , raped 15 times a day . I am raped by those eyes staring me through rear view mirror , even my cousins and uncle rape me through the games that they play !! The rape games , I can feel them oozing over my shape of breasts .

I cannot speak , I feel numb ,
This is the worst part I am raped
through the rape games by them , whom
I can't blame I can't shout , I can't cry ,
I just can't ....
Its a reality every single day every night every single hour single second
I am raped .

- Shaera

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Mujhe apna school time bahut yaad aata he...
Wo prayer se pehle Id card bachho se lana
Or ribbons ko sharpners se cut kr k baatna
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Wo tera chhoti chhoti baato pr mujhse ladna
Or mere liye dusro se lad jana
Mujhe bahut yaad aata he...
Ha mujhe wo school time bahut yaad aata he...
Wo hamara lecture k bich me isharo se baate karna...
Sir se chupte hue tedi-meri shakle banakr ek dusre ko hasana
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Wo questions puche jane k waqt sir hamse na puchle is dar se najre nichi kr k beth jana
Or bach jane pr milne wala wo shukun
Mujhe yaad aata he... Ha wo school time mujhe bahut yaad aata he...
Wo interwals ka besabri se intezar karna
Or interwal hone pr class se bhagna
Mujhe bahut yaad aata he....
Ha wo wakt mujhe bahut yaad aata he
Wo class me hamara shor machana or teachers ka keep silence chillana
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Wo lunch time se pehle khane k liye man dolna
Or sir ka hame ullu bolna
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Ha mujhe school time bahut yaad aata he...
Fir lunch time pr ek dusre k lunch box se khana
Or khane se jyada baate banana...
Wo lunch k baad class me late jana
Or teachers ka hame pakana
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Wo chemistry lab me hamara different solutions ko milakr pagalpanti karna...
Or bio lab me slides tut jane pr unko dhire se chupakr rakhna
Mujhe bahut yaad aata he...
Wo games ki subah se planning karna
Or games period me basketball court k liye boys se ladna
Mujhe yaad aata he
Wo tera mujhse ball chhin kr bhagna
Or mera tujhe ball basket karne se rokna
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Or fir us chhina-chhani me mera gir jana
Or tumhara mera majak udana
mujhe yaad aata he...
Wo games period khatm hone k baad hand wash karne k bahane se washroom k bahar hamara time pass karna
Or fir class me truth or dare khelna
Mujhe yaad aata he...
Ha mujhe school time bahut yaad aata he...
Pr sabse jyada to mujhe wo daily tere sath 8 ghante bitana bahut yaad aata he...
Aaj bhi tu mujhse u to he milti...
Pr pata nhi kyu wo purani nadaniyo wali hasi ab mere chehre pr kyu nhi khilti...
Wese to mehaj tere sath hone se mere chehre pr real smile aajati he...
Masti bhi ham karte he or tu sath me samay bhi mere bitati he...
Khushi to mujhe ab bhi behad milti he...
Pr kuch to he jiski kami fir bhi khalti he..
Khush to me ab bhi hu
Mere yaro k sath me aaj bhi hu...
Kisi baat ka he ab dar nhi
Teachers se chhup kr lunch khane ki ab jarurat nhi ...
Pr ab wo shetaniyat he khi ghum si gayi
Wo playground pr khelne ki aadat chhut si gayi...
Wo teachers ko pareshan karne ka chance ab milta nhi
Wo shetaniyo wala phul ab khilta nhi
Shayad isiliye wo school time mujhe yaad aata he...
Ha.. Wo wakt mujhe behad yaad aata he...

.......Muskan writes

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Never In My Wildest Dreams

You came into my world like high beams on some two lane highway in the middle of a desert night; just as I lost the fight between thirty more miles and pulling over for a nap until sunrise. Fracturing my momentary dream into a million pieces of panic and surprise as your light burned through the lids of my eyes and your horn’s noise grabbed at nerves that shook my insides alive.

I remember the giant halo of your glow and light coming head on, the fog in my brain was overwhelming, as muscle memory spurred both hands and they registered on the wheel. My grasp was wrapped tight and pulled sharply, sending me into a wrenching swerve; a sudden desperate attempt to avoid our impending collision, as you careened head long my way. In the moments that came, I couldn’t tell if you were slowing or attempting to avoid the obstruction of my vehicle that had wondered into your lane. I only knew the fear as my life flashed before my frozen, bulging eyes. I felt my knuckles strain, threatening to rip flesh, as they pulled against the tension of my grasp on the wheel.

I remember feeling my knee slam under the dash as terror took me and I over compensated. With pang in knee, I stabbed my foot back down at the break. I remember the feeling of gravity shift as my vehicle began to swerve and my body flatten into the door panel as I began the fight to regain control of my vehicle, careening down that lonely highway.

I remember my body recognized and felt something I couldn’t have truly felt. At least something felt different, this specific time, than any other before or after. Both the fear of loosing control and this new feeling are forever linked somehow. It was something I felt as my shoulder pressed into the drivers side door panel: the feel of the gravel beneath my tires, not in the normal sense of peeling out, or hot rodding around a turn, or when you are navigating a gravel incline and a tire slips, spinning a bit. But, I remember feeling every, single, piece, of gravel, as my tires slid over them, like they were brail desperately attempting to be read by someone with an untrained hand.

And suddenly, I remember, I was fighting gravity to avoid being thrown into the empty passenger seat next to me; with the dutiful assistance of my seat belt I remained square in seat. By this point my perspiration was beading at my brow and my palms were slick and damp. The smell filling my nose was terrible: rubber skidding across tar and the metal chemical burn of clutch mixed with burning metallic fumes of locked, red hot breaks. The noxious smoke produced from the instant tire tread wear of tires attempting to grapple with the texture of pavement at sixty miles per hour and the dust thrown up from the narrow desert road was thick in the air as my vehicle began to spin violently. This must have been one of my wildest dreams.

Your tail lights passed by my view out the front windshield a few times before I came to a slow, lazy roll backwards, eventually coming to a halt on the pavement; vision now dizzy and disoriented. My motion had not stopped however. The spinning had turned my head into one of those twirling carnival rides and transformed my extremities into shaking nerve noodles, who’s vibration emanated from my core.

Regaining my composure, I found myself immediately worried about who I had almost collided with and what state they were in; my concern seemingly met with reply as your hazard lights lit up from the tail lights of your vehicle ahead. I remember blood pumping in my temples as I raced toward your vehicle, grateful to be alive, and grateful you were still on the road and in one piece as well. Closing the distance to your flashing hazards just hoping you were okay. I felt embarrassed and foolish for putting myself, and you, at risk not stopping a few miles back. I prayed you were not scared or upset with me. Not knowing what to expect as I slowed to a jog nearing your vehicle, I took in the details of the multiple spins my vehicle completed as it whipped round and round directly down the center of the highway. I took in the sight of fresh tread on the pavement left by my tires, scrawled like a signature of some artist signing their work of near miss.

I remember as I looked up again to where your vehicle had come to a stop, that you too where now running my direction. As we approached each other I could tell we both did a quick visual assessment of each other, our vehicles, the tire tread scrawl on the road. We asked each other if the other was okay and learned no harm had come to the other other than shaken nerves and a bit of embarrassment on my part.

I remember hearing your laugh for the first time as we sat on the side of that highway in the middle of the night and lost track of time. We talked about everything, and nothing, as we watched the stars and smiled at each other honestly. Morning came faster than either of us expected announcing it’s a rival gloriously. The sunrise was exceptionally beautiful that morning. As we peacefully watched, finally pausing in conversation for the first time since we met, we took in it’s orange, blue, yellow, and pink shifting colors sharing glances at each other now and then, smiles and blushing cheeks as we did.

As the morning sun’s heat set upon our skin and the brightness of the desert view began to become overwhelming you turned to me with a smile. I remember taking your business card and the electricity fire through my fingertips as our hands touched for the first time.

Your touch felt so exotic then, like some distant land I had read a million books about and knew every detail of but had only learned from in the texts written in those pages. I imagine I looked like an adventurer, captivated and in awe, as they stepped of an old steam engine train onto a new landscape. Amusing the locals watching a new traveler standing starstruck seeing, smelling, and feeling the foreign environment they had read so much about but were only experiencing in person for the first time.

As I put your business card into my wallet, so many unknown feelings and pressing questions that I wanted to ask you were coming to my head fighting each other for place in line and internally pleading for one more second of your time. They were interrupted by one major new question I hadn’t considered so distracted by my internal conflict.

When would I would see you again? This question was followed by an even larger: Would I see you again? I was so caught off guard at their staggering weight I remember feeling intimidated by how much it meant to me. I chickened out. I didn’t ask and though in that moment didn’t know what to do with myself, or my shaken emotions, as we said our good byes.

Before you turned to depart I managed to make sure you too had my number and awkwardly, shuffled back, half facing you, half trying to walk away. I could tell you noticed in the words your smile always seemed to hold.

I remember you driving away and the stress I felt realizing we were going in opposite directions for the first time since we met and how something immediately felt missing in my world. I remember kicking myself not wanting to end up just some guy who you met and called you down the road or being just a story of a time you almost got hit head on by some guy in the middle a desert one night. A bit late, but just in time, I buckled my seat belt and decided not to become that guy. I threw my vehicle in drive and accelerated after you. Headed in your direction for the first time.

My heart raced as I drove fast to catch up to your vehicle once again and as I pulled up behind you, obnoxiously got your attention with my horn and the flashing of my lights. I couldn’t believe I had chased after you like a crazy! What would you think of this? Was I crazy?

As you stepped out of your vehicle your beauty was staggering and I confidently acknowledged, almost applauded myself; I had made the right decision. I jogged up to you on the pavement of that two lane highway and blurted out “When will I see you again?!”. Your laugh told me everything as it often did, I would learn.

I canceling my plans, my new job would have to wait, or I’d find a new one when I got to my destination. I suddenly had you placed at the center of my life’s main screen and didn’t for one second consider what else was on outside in my periphery. Everything seemed like it mattered just a little bit less than the focus my mind found when trained on you. I spent the day with you, headed in your direction. We played, both lost in the world together, on a new adventure, and loving every moment of it.

By that evening I was already in love, and knew it as for the first time I watched the sunset reflect forever in your eyes. I will never in my wildest dreams forget your smile when I admitted my love to you as we watched those stars again, together, that second night.

I also remember how we really met, and this isn’t it! Not even close! But it sure could have been. I mean, some things are similar to how we met all those years ago. You do remember don’t you?

The night we first met we were hurling in each other’s direction at a million miles per hour and barely missed colliding. That near miss put us into permanent dance as we orbited each other - dancing in and out of each other’s life, always friends, lovers, strangers, family; whatever we needed to be for the other at that specific moment in time. The first night we met I knew I had met the most amazing woman and I couldn’t believe that I had finally found you; never in my wildest dreams did I think you were really out there.

We did watch the stars and talked until the sun came up. We also spent the next day playing together and I really did watch the sunset reflect forever in your eyes. I did fall in love with you, only immediately, almost at first sight.

My love switch flipped the very moment you said “Hiiii” that way you did. Your mysterious brown eyes - strands coloring them wonderful, as your cheeks smiled for days. They reached into me latching onto my heart and I did not resist the comfort of your grasp. There was just something so familiar in the way you drew me in and made a place for me in your world. I felt like I had seen this smile of yours before somewhere and it belonged right after that “Hiiii”, and right in front of me. There was also something so familiar in the way you said my name, always smiling, you giggled a lot more back then.

I chased after you and that smile, following the echoes of that giggle from that moment on without any regret and loved every moment you chased me back laughing as we played. I remember how grateful I was getting to know you, and how grateful I always will be to have spent all the moments we shared through the years, building our story. The rest of that story and how we really first met is ours. A story to be remembered another time I think.


I remember the many other things that are similar in the story I have told but happened completely differently, to a completely different moment, in a completely different part of our story that I’d like to share in this letter to you. I think it is supposed to help...telling you these things, we always shared our deepest feelings with each other and It’s hard holding them all by myself. I’m working on it, love, I promised. Writing these letters to you and the chapters of our time together contained within.
In this part of our story, the true part of this story, and part of our chapters I’m sharing in this letter is a moment where I remember a collision that happened head on and it all started with a phone call.

I remember we were both asleep at the wheel and wholly unprepared as I raced down the highway to you. I remember how sudden the impact came after I reached your side. I remember the pain and jarring as your light in my world, that light that engulfed my vision completely, was in a moment no longer present. I remember my confusion as my momentum came to a complete, and immediate, stop. I remember that I didn’t even have time to scream or brace myself as everything in my world shattered in a devastating explosion and all it’s shiny pieces showered into the air around me. I remember that I didn’t even have both hands on the wheel as my life turned upside down. I remember that there was no seat belt to fasten me in as my breath choked in my throat, stalled, as if suspended mid air.

I remember the look, taste, sound, smell, touch, and feeling of every, single, thing, in that hospital room. I remember the smell of my tears in your hair. I remember how soft your skin was and that your fingernails were not painted like they normally were as I held your hand. I remember the feeling of my nerves as they achieved complete pandaemonium within me. I remember I was trembling as I struggled to breath between crying, then breathing, then crying, tasting the snot running from my nose mixed with the salt that clung to my face as I sat at your side. I remember hearing the sobs in the room as your heart rate monitor stopped blinking. I remember that exact moment you left me. I remember all of the feelings I felt at that moment as my emotions burned deep within and imprinted them as if by brand, permanently emblazoned on my soul. I remember not having the words for them then and I still do not have words for them now.

I remember every single detail, reflected in the pieces of my world as they crashed to the polished surface of the tiny room’s grey and white checkered tile floor. I remember that for the first time in a long time we were no longer running toward each other, or in the same direction together, and you weren’t there to make sure I was okay. I remember praying that you would be okay but my heart didn’t hear the echo of yours anymore to be sure. I remember hoping you were not lonely just minutes after you left and began crying: differently, because I didn’t know how to be there for you like I promised I always would be. I remember wanting so badly to chase after you, especially in the months that followed your funeral to keep that promise I made. I remember wanting to make sure you weren’t alone and be by your side as you took off on this new adventure to make sure you got under way okay. I remember trying to lighten my mood and joke about you making a new friend jealous, telling them about a guy that loved you unconditionally in another life. But, I remembered I could not chase you this time; I couldn’t be there to hold you if you happened to fall in love with him and he broke your heart. There was no catching up to you minutes down the road, just to see your smile again and hear you laugh at me for being silly. There was no way to pick you up off the ground and piece your heart back together with pieces of mine if it was broken this time.

I can only hope you receive all the letters like this one and that you are able to answer my call when I get home. We can meet in the middle of some two lane highway in the clouds, talking about life down below, or everything, or nothing, and laugh at the concept of time.

I can’t wait for that moment I see you again and we can remember all the years since the night we first met and remind each other how that story really went. I want so badly to be reminded exactly how it feels seeing the sunset reflect forever in your eyes like I used to.

I remember you every single day and wrote this letter to remind you: that more than anything, I patiently wait to learn how we finish our story, because never in my wildest dreams, could these stars be as beautiful as I remember, all those moments, I spent watching them with you.

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