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The Secret to Happiness Is 10 Specific Behaviors
Despite happiness being a primary human motivation, only one in three Americans say they’re very happy.
Several years ago in an interview with Conan O’Brien, Louis C. K. tells of flying on a newly equipped Wi-Fi airplane. He was amazed by the new technology. Until, during the flight, the Wi-Fi went down. Immediately, the man next to him became extremely upset. “As though the world owes this man something he only knew existed 10 seconds ago.”
Louis C. K. continues by describing people’s absurd frustrations with flying in general. People complain about it all the time “It was the worst day of my life! It took 20 minutes to board! We had to sit on the runway for 40 minutes!”
We hear complaints like these all the time. As if we’ve forgotten how incredible it is that humans can fly at all.
How are we so quick to take for granted the remarkable things going on in life?
Why is it so easy to complain?
Why do we focus on the negative?
Everything is amazing and nobody is happy.
However, happiness can easily be achieved even without the brilliant advances in the world.
Rather than being reactive to what’s going on around us, happy people take control of their lives and emotions. If you are unhappy with your life, who or what else can you blame than yourself? And if you can blame someone or something else, how is blame going to make your life any better?
Bad stuff happens to everyone. But life isn’t about what happens to you. It’s about how you proactively respond.
The following 10 behaviors, if applied, will change your life. Let me be clear, if you do these things, you will be an incredibly happy person.
1. Let Go Of The Need For Specific Outcomes
Not everything in life goes exactly how we plan. There are setbacks. Stuff happens. We mess up. Over-obsessing and basing happiness on specific outcomes leads to misery. Jeremy Piven, the famous actor, was recently interviewed by Success Magazine. During the interview, he mentioned that, as an actor, the only way to work is to go out and audition for specific roles.The challenge most actors/actresses face is that they get in their own way. It doesn’t matter how much homework they’ve done. If they’re too tied to a specific result, they can’t be present in the moment. They can’t truly perform their art. They come off as desperate. They get in their own way. Their performance isn’t what it could have been.Jeremy said that when he quit worrying about a specific result, he was able to be present during his auditions. He was able to be completely who he wanted to be. He wasn’t trying to be what he thought others wanted him to be. He performed his art.If he didn’t get the gig, either they didn’t get it or it just wasn’t the right fit. So he moves on to the next. In this way, he’s able to get the jobs he’s supposed to have. He’s not just trying to get anything he can get.
2. Define Your Own Success And Happiness
“Be everything to everybody and you’ll be nothing for yourself.” — John Rushton
No two human beings are the same. So why should we have one standard of success? Seeking society’s standard of success is an endless rat-race. There will always be someone better than you. You’ll never have the time to do everything.Instead, you recognize that every decision has opportunity cost. When you choose one thing, you simultaneously don’t choose several others. And that’s okay. Actually, it’s beautiful because we get to choose our ultimate ideal. We must define success, wealth, and happiness in our own terms because if we don’t, society will for us — and we will always fall short. We’ll always be left wanting. We’ll always be stuck comparing ourselves and competing with other people. Our lives will be an endless race for the next best thing. We’ll never experience contentment.
3. Commit 100 Percent To The Things That Make You Happy
“Many of us have convinced ourselves that we are able to break our own personal rules “just this once.” In our minds, we can justify these small choices. None of those things, when they first happen, feels like a life-changing decision. The marginal costs are almost always low. But each of those decisions can roll up into a much bigger picture, turning you into the kind of person you never wanted to be.” — Clayton Christensen
People are really good at self-sabotage. We consistently behave in ways that contradict our goals and ideals. This is incongruence. As Mahatma Gandhi has said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” The smaller the gap between what you should do, and what you actually do — the happier you will be.
Hence, Clayton Christensen says 100 percent commitment is easier than 98 percent commitment. When you fully commit to something, the decision has been made. Consequently, regarding that thing, all future decisions have been made.
Unless you’re committed 100 percent, you will always be a victim to external circumstances. By relying on willpower, you’ll crumble more often than you think. Research has found that people over-inflate their own performance. Chances are, you probably think you’re doing better at your resolves than you really are.
But once you’re 100 percent committed, you no longer need to rely on willpower. Your decision has already been made regardless of the circumstances. Saying “No” to anything outside our highest ideals becomes extremely easy. This is living proactively rather than reactively.
4. Be Grateful For What You Already Have
“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness] — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach
Happiness is as simple as gratitude. Psychological research has found that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits:
Stronger immune systems, Less bothered by aches and pains, Lower blood pressure, Exercise more and take better care of their health, Sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking
Higher levels of positive emotions, More alert, alive, and awake, More joy and pleasure, More optimism and happinessSocial
More helpful, generous, and compassionate, More forgiving, More outgoing, Feel less lonely and isolatedDespite these benefits, most people ungratefully focus on what they don’t have. As a culture, we have become wasteful and undisciplined consumers. The grass is always greener on the other side. A constant pursuit of having more of the newest and best.
How could you possibly find happiness when you relentlessly want more and never find properly appreciate what you have?
It’s time for you to learn how to be more grateful. Your happiness depends on it.
5. Say “I Love You” More
This may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, they’ll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. “When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. I’ve been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.”Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”As my wife, Lauren, tells our children daily, “The secret to happiness is to make everyone around you happy.” By default, you will get the satisfaction of bringing joy to others and their positive energy will come back to you.
6. Have Hobbies Directed Toward Your Dreams
Most people’s hobbies are just hobbies. And that’s okay. It’s good to have an escape from reality. However, research has found that a person can experience leisure in anything. Your work can become your leisure — where it literally rejuvenates you.When I decided where I wanted my life to go, my life vision, I consciously chose hobbies that would best get me there. Some of these hobbies include exercise, reading, writing, journaling, having deep and meaningful conversations, and being in nature. These hobbies refresh and rejuvenate me while simultaneously pushing me toward my dreams.
7. Don’t Wait Til Tomorrow For What You Can Do Today
“When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say [into the phone], ‘No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait.’“When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. ‘The circus keeps coming back, you know,’ [she said.]“‘I know,’ said Father. ‘But childhood doesn’t.’” — Arthur GordonHappiness comes from embracing the now. Not letting those moments pass you by. Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, tells of the story of missing his child being born to be at an “important meeting.” He thought the potential client would be impressed with his commitment to work. Instead, they saw his decision to miss such a monumental moment as a flaw in character. That moment was a turning point for Greg. In fact, it spurred him to change everything about his life. He now removes everything from his life that is not vital and essential.Nothing in life is permanent. Kids grow up. Friends move away. Our loved ones pass on from this life. Let’s live in the present and appreciate the most important things in our lives before it’s too late.
8. Do Something Every Day That Terrifies You
Happy people step out of their comfort zone. You can’t grow if you don’t challenge yourself. And growth is a requirement of happiness. If you’re not growing, you’re slowly decaying and dying.
Elevated risk makes you feel more alive and puts you in a state of flow — which is an optimal conscious state where you feel and perform at your highest level. You become completely absorbed in what you’re doing — pure presence.
When you do things way outside your comfort zone, you naturally raise your conscious level. When you do things that involve high risk, and high probability of failure, you are forced to think differently than you normally do. You are forced to be creative and innovative.
Sadly, most people play life small, safe, and easy. The goals they pursue are logical. There is little element of risk and little requirement for faith.
Consequently, you should take bigger risks in your life. Do things that make you feel alive and activate flow. Of course, with this will come more failures. But if you’re not failing, you’re not growing. Rather than experiencing apathy in life, you’ll experience more of a roller-coaster of emotions. We can never appreciate joy if we’ve never felt sorrow. The more pain and fear we feel, the more we can comprehend and appreciate joy and happiness.
9. Put “The Important” Before “The Urgent”
Stephen Covey says that most people spend their time on urgent but unimportant things. We wake up and immediately check our email. Thus, we put our lives on reactive, rather than proactive mode. After all, email is simply a database of other people’s agendas.
Instead, happy people always put the important stuff first. Not only important, but important and non-urgent. The important stuff includes exercise, reading good books, setting goals, writing in your journal, and spending time with those you love. None of these things are urgent. We could easily put these things off until tomorrow — which is ultimately never. The most happy and successful people in the world spend most of their time on the important.
One of my favorite non-urgent yet important things is my morning routine. I wake up several hours before I start my work day. I meditate and pray to put myself in a space of gratitude and abundance. Then I get my body moving with exercise or yard work. I eat healthy food, read my long-term goals, listen to uplifting content, and do at least one thing to move me toward my goals.
10. Forgo The Good To Pursue The Best
A lot of things in life are good, even great. That doesn’t mean we should do them. In Good to Great, Jim Collins says that once-in-a-lifetime opportunities come up every day. Most people take any great opportunity that comes their way, even if it’s not in alignment with their life vision. Consequently, most people’s lives are moving in a thousand different directions. They aren’t able to consciously move forward in a singular direction.
On the other hand, happy people say no to even amazing opportunities. They will not sacrifice freedom for security. They will not get derailed by distractions — even sexy and attractive distractions.
Very few things in life are best. You can only determine what’s best for you once you know where you want your life to go. Be careful not to continuously engage in good activities and miss the best ones.
Happy people live in the present. They don’t miss the moments that matter most. They are incredibly grateful for all they have. They focus their lives on the important and essential. They forgo the many good opportunities in order to focus on the few best ones.
This article was originally published at the:
How to draw New York City drawing with oil pastel step by step for beginners
Oil pastel drawing for beginners with Oil Pastel - step by stepVideo link in bio
How to draw New York City drawing with oil pastel step by step for beginners
Oil pastel drawing for beginners with Oil Pastel - step by step
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Meet Inna Bugeja, An amazing artist who uses glass as the object to project her imagination and convert it into something really amazing & breath-taking.
We recently caught up with Inna for a discussion where she discusses her life, her inspiration, her motivation, her love for glass painting and much more.
Nojoto Team: Hi Inna, describe yourself. Imagine writing a story on Nojoto.
Inna: I was born in Ukraine in 1979 and developed an early interest in art. Art has always been a part of my life.
Since I was 7, I went to different type of schools – arts, music (playing guitar), singing, dancing, and drawing. And I realized at age 10 that most of all, what I like is to draw.
I have been studying painting in an art school of Ukraine since last 5 years.
In school, I studied different techniques of drawing and have tested many materials that can be used for painting. Few which I tested are: canvas, ceramic, wood, iron and glass. And of course my love and my favorite is glass.
Nojoto Team: From where did you get the inspiration for drawing? What motivated you? — Any person or a situation in particular?
Inna: After my marriage in Malta and the birth of my child, I didn't had enough time to do my art. I have a
wonderful family, the best husband, a lovely baby. I had a happy family life, until I realized that I did not
seem to have enough of something inside of me.
All I had was good, but I felt as if my soul was empty. I realized that I need to grow creatively – and need to
listen beautiful music, should start reading interesting books, and meet creative people.
Years later, when my daughter grew up - I felt that I need to pick up my art on glass.
Nojoto Team: How did your parents, friends, school, hometown influence your passion for your art?
Inna: My husband always support me and encourage me my artwork. Sometimes when I start painting on glass, I just can't stop. I can paint for 16 hours without a break. It looks like I am in another dimension. He understands that my art is really important for me, so he helps me and motivates me to improve.
Nojoto Team: How do you take out time to follow your passion?
Inna: Night is my time. I can focus & paint at night because it is all quiet, and everyone in my family is also asleep, so that’s the time when I am in creative mood and follow my passion of painting on glass.
Nojoto Team: Why did you picked up Glass Painting only and not anything else?
Inna: I understood that glass is the material on which I want to paint, because Glass as a material can be worked in so many ways. Its ability to transmit and reflect light adds another layer of intrigue and meaning to the art. There is no other material with gives so many options to the artist.
I am using 3 different types of paints - transparent, opaque and pearl colours which are makes light effects.
Nojoto Team: What is the most fulfilling thing when you share your artwork with others?
Inna: I really appreciate when other talented people comment on my art. I love to hear both good and bad comments, and that's how I can learn and improve next time.
Nojoto Team: How do you go about creating your art — starting from thinking about it — to imagining about it — to actually doing it? Describe the creative process, which you take generally?
Inna: I love Night, Full Moon, Magic... I turn on relaxing music. In that moment I am in a Creative Mood and I ready to create my art.
Nojoto Team: What types of art you have experimented with?
Inna: Long time ago I tried to paint on a canvas. But the glass painting and painting on canvas are a different feelings. Glass painting is very slow work and it is exactly for me because I like when it takes time, so that I can indulge in to it.
Nojoto Team: What is your most favorite style of art?
Inna: My favorite is to mix the colors between each other.
Transparent with opaque, transparent with pearl or opaque with pearl.
With all these actions I can make different light effects such as - shadow, drop of water, 3D effect etc.
Nojoto Team: Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
Inna: I cannot exactly say if I am an extrovert or an introvert. When I am in my creative mood and I painting - I am an introvert. It is one side of me.
And another half is extrovert - I like meet new people. I love my Life which is full all different colours. We create our Life that is why most of my art are full of bright colours.
Nojoto Team: What is the most interesting comment/feedback you have got about your art and from whom?
Inna: One time I showed my painting called "Through the Rain" to an Art Teacher and asked for her advice.
She said it is incredible - how I got the effect of a wet road, glowing windows and the painted flowers with the effect of 3d and then she asked me to show some more of my techniques of the glass painting.
Nojoto Team: If you could do one thing for the World, what would it be?
Inna: I would like to paint the world in bright colors.
Nojoto Team: What is “your” favorite work till now?
Inna: My Favorite work till now Glass Painting called "Life and Soul". This painting means a lot to me. This is my soul, my spirit, my creative mood...
Nojoto Team: — If given 1 million dollars, what you want to do?
Inna: We all have an inner world that is quite distinct from the outer world. It is the world we meet when we have an emotional reaction, an idea, or close our eyes and live in our fantasies, imagination or dreams.
Rich person stops thinking about his inner world. That person thinking just about money. So I afraid to have a lot of money because I afraid to lose myself. What can I do with 1 million dollars is to give to person who is more competent in this matter.
Nojoto Team: What do you love about Nojoto? And why do you like it?
Inna: Why I love "Nojoto"? Because "Nojoto" loves me ;)
I feel that I am on it since the beginning and now it feel looks like a big family who cares about each other and I feel like I'm part of this friendly, positive, caring family.
There are a lot of talented people from whom I can learn something new and interesting. We are so far from each other, but through "Nojoto" we get a little closer.
It's interesting to know the world, another world without leaving home just by using Interest Based Social Network called "Nojoto".
Nojoto Team: What is your message for other people who are young and have a passion for a particular interest?
Inna: Never give up! If you have a dream then follow it. Setting goals is important for reaching your dreams. Successful people set goals and reach them step by step.
Team Nojoto: “Inna joined Nojoto’s family in very early days when we just started. She has the most amazing profile on Nojoto. She used “Collection feature” of Nojoto, in the way we thought not many people might understand.
She has 6 beautiful collections in Traditional Arts – where each collection has a different life of its own – and has a different dimension. Words are not enough, to understand – you will have to check out her profile on Nojoto.
1. Glass Painting by IB
2. Stained Glass Effect Painting
3. Step by Step Glass Painting
4. Bench – On Glass Details
5. Glass – Clock in details
6. Colorful spring
Because we now that she has amazing taste in Music, we would love to see that side of Inna too and wish to see her Music Collection on Nojoto.
Moreover, after seeing video of her art gallery on Nojoto, someday I really want to visit her Gallery and see her amazing artworks.
We wish Inna’s artwork inspires millions of people to follow their passion, their interest.”
Carl G. Jung Archetypes – The 4 Stages Of Life
“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.” Carl Gustav Jung
According to the Swiss psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, there are 4 archetypes, 4 stages that we go through during our lifetime, and these stages are:
1. The ATHLETE Stage
At this stage, we are mostly preoccupied with our looks, with the way our body looks. During this stage we might stay for hours looking and admiring our reflection in the mirror. Our body, our looks are the most important thing to us, nothing else.
2. The WARRIOR stage
During this period, this stage, our main concern is to go out there and conquer the world, to do our best, be the best and get the very best, to do what warriors do, and act like warriors act. This is a stage when we continually think of ways to get more than everybody else, a stage of comparison, of defeating those around so we can feel better because we have achieved more, because we are the warriors, the brave ones.
3. The STATEMENT stage
At this time, this stage in your life, you realize what you have achieved so far is not enough for you to feel fulfilled, to be happy… you are now looking for ways to make a difference in the world, for ways to serve those around you. You are now preoccupied with ways to start giving. You now realize what you chased after until now, money, power, possessions etc. will keep on appearing in your life but you no longer attribute them the same value as before, you no longer are attached to those things because you are now in a different stage of your life, where you know there is more to life than that. You receive them, you accept them and you are grateful, but you are ready to let go of them at any time. You are looking for ways to stop thinking only about yourself, of ways to receive and start focusing on living a life of service. All you want to do in this stage is give. You now know that giving is receiving and it is time for you to stop being selfish, egotistical and self-centered and think of ways to help those in need, to leave this world better than it was when you arrived.
4. The Stage of the SPIRIT
According to Jung, this will be the last stage of our life, a stage where we realize that none of those 3 stages are really who and what we are. We realize we are more than our body, we are more than our possessions, more than our friends, our country and so on. We come to the realization that we are divine beings, spiritual beings having a human experience, and not human beings having a spiritual experience. We now know this is not our home, and we are not what we thought we are. We are in this world but not of it. We are now able to observe ourselves from a different perspective. We are now capable to step out of our own mind, out of our own body and understand who we really are, to see things the way they are. We become the observer of our lives. We realize that we are not that which we notice but, the observer of what we notice.
2500 years ago, Lao Tzu (abt.551-479 BCE) was trying to teach us just that, was trying to teach us how to get to this last stage of life, this spiritual stage: “Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things? Giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations, leading and not trying to control: this is the supreme virtue.”