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“A world without love is a deadly place”
“Since the heaven and earth were created, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I will not let you go,” declared Chang Po to his beloved Meilan (Yutang 1954, P.73). The Chinese still cry over this Chinese fable.
Paris and Helen, Orpheus and Eurydice, Shiva and Sati, Laila and Majnu, we can come accross thousands of stories, poem, writing accross centuries over continents. There is one single thing common i.e Love. We spend our lives searching for it, talking about it, craving it. Love is called the greatest virtue. Sometimes we can't express it, it has to be felt.
Love is complex and fascinating. Romantic love is more complex and more mystery, hard to explain. As per psychological studies romantic love is associated with emotions, motivations and behaviors. In romantic love lovers experience extreme energy, hyperactivity, sleeplessness, moodswing etc. An important property of romantic love is 'intrusive thinking'.
Our Brain on Love..
We think that love and relationships are art than science, but there is actually a part of
science involved with falling in love. Both men and women experiences many changes during romantic love. Did you know that the chemicals released when we are falling in love are similar to the chemicals released when a person uses cocaine? Its true. But what is in that love that puts a person on 'cloud nine'?
“The first step in the process of falling in love is the initial attraction, It’s the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.” says Elizabeth Kane,a clinical psychologist of South University. By psychologist Robert Sternberg, the three components of love are 'intimacy', 'passion', and 'commitment' - ( according to Triangular theory of love)
Intimacy, Intimacy refers to feelings of closeness,
association with our loved ones.
Passion, Passion refers to the strong and intense desire for love and sex.
Commitment, is the decision that one loves other, and commitment to maintain that love.
“Romantic love evolves when one feels a sense of interdependence, attachment, and that their psychological needs are being met.”
Science behind love..
I have some beautiful experience of watching my friends falling in love, even I watched myself falling in love. Person in love always smile when they talk about their mate, and they always like to talk a lot about them. Although people experience love uniquly. There are biological attraction behind the initial attraction and falling in love.
Dopamine, which is originated from brain and adrenal glands, stimulates the release of testosterone. Dopamine affects the genitals, the sweat glands, and also the senses. probably you have noticed that when you are in primary stages of love, you sweat more. As a consequence of dopamine release, mood and emotions are also influenced, leading to feelings of excitement and satisfaction. On other side, testosterone increases sexual desireness and aggressive behaviour and it may push someone to pursue the one who is fueling this intense response.
The neurotransmitters norepinephrine and phenylethylamine(PEA) act to focused attention. Norepinephrine is a stimulant, so it causes individuals to feel alert such as unable to sleep, and make them to notice and remember even the tiny of details about their mate. PEA is responsible for the feelings of dizziness. If the relationship doesn’t last, and PEA levels decreases and are responsible for the feelings of depression that can be experienced.
A feedback loop starts to form, with a brain reward system becoming involved. The reward system transmit chemical messages, via neurotransmitters, to various parts of the body, including the stomach, skin, genitals and other organs, which causes them to reciprokete to the brain. During the primary stages of love, this reward system is stimulated through very simple way such as, a lover’s touch, seeing their photograph, or even just thinking about this person can increase elevated mood. According to the study conducted by Dr. Helen Fisher using functional magnetic resonance imaging(fMRI) on those who were passionately in love(ten women and seven men) found that those brain reward system got activated even on looking at their lover pictures.
Where we are going...
Love, the word itself brings smile on our faces. The existance of love in in Every single civilization, era. But a few people thniks that romantic love i.e romance is created in twelveth century but first love poem dated 4000 years back. But some says love is the most powerful force in universe. Can we imagine our life without love? What if love would not exist in future? Have we ever thought about these question? I think most of us will say 'no'. Because we cannot live without love whether that love is for our mate, love for our children, love for our parents, love for our society. Only love can bring peace in our hectic world. We cannot say about future, we only can predict it. Let's see where love will take us!
What can be the conclusion of an infinite feeling! It does not matter whoever you are, love always guide your life and your daily life activity. Love will give you meaning of everything in nature. Love is worth us and what we possess. Love drives from our heart, and let it be driving force of everything and let it live in our heart to influence, guide, heal and motivate yourselves and others.
“Where there is love, there is life”
An Easy Spiritual Discipline
!! Shri Hari !!
While giving lectures to the children of the demons, Prahladji says – what effort is required in realizing Paramatma (God, Supreme Being) ? - “koti prayaasosurbaalakaah?” (Srimad Bhagwat 7/7/38)
There is one point that one must remember regarding sense objects that, things of this world are not present in all places and at all times. For attaining these, one has to make significant effort. However God is present at all places, at all times, in all beings, and in all situations. There is not a place, time, individual, thing where he is not present. For his attainment all that is needed is intense longing. Just like we have a particular object in our possession, then it is on looking at it that we are able to see it! But to see God, it is not essential to even look in a particular direction, because Paramatma is outside, inside (within-without) and everywhere. Therefore, one can attain Him simply by longing to attain Him!
In realizing God, no effort is required. In this, the only requirement is a deep thirst, a want. And even this want is not difficult. In reality, this need is present in all human beings, naturally and on its own; because man feels something lacking within him, but the mistake he makes is that he wishes to fulfill the deficiency with the aid of the world. All things in this world cannot be acquired by all, they never have and they never will be and even if they are acquired, then too they will not remain with you. Even if the things remain, then, you will not remain. There will definitely be separation from it. Before too there was separation and later on too there will be separation. In between the union is only perceived, it is not there as such. Then too we consider our relationship with those things and desire them, this is a very big mistake.
You have considered yourself to be one with the body, this body is me and this body is mine, this is the main mistake! You are not the body! If you were the body, then you would not die at all and if you died, then you would take the body with you. After dying the body (dead) remains right here, and in that body too we are present. But neither the body goes with us, nor the body stays with us. Therefore accepting that you are the body is a mistake and to consider the body as ours is also a mistake. We cannot keep the body, the way we wish to keep it. We have no control over it, then how is it ours? If the body is not ours, then this money, wealth, glories, family etc. how are they ours? Therefore, what is the difficulty in accepting that this world is not ours? Only God is ours. It has become difficult to regard the thing that is in fact ours – God, as our very own, because we regard the world as ours.
The scriptures say that Paramatma (God) is our very own and the world in not our own - your experience tells you this. At this time though you may not believe this, you are unable to accept this; however do not lose your self-assurance. Do not think that we are unable to accept this at this time. Though it is not believed at this time, but in fact, “I am this body” this is not so. Stay firm with this point. Whether you believe or not, whether you experience it or not, do not worry about it; but do not make this point worthless.
This body is not me, and it is not mine – this point is true, and I am God’s and God is mine, this point is also true. Even on being true, it is not accepted, then this is our weakness. How can our non acceptance make the truth become false?
Questioner - How do we end up making this false?
Swamiji - Whatever we see through our senses, intellect, we consider it to be real and our own; by this the point becomes false. Due to this, even if we are unable to give up sense of mine-ness with those things, then so be it; but “body and world are not mine” this is the truth – that much you must honor. If you don’t see God, then so be it, but God is ours and we are God’s, this point is true. Even if Brahmaji says that “See you are of the world and the world is yours, you are not God’s and God is not yours,” then too clearly say that “Maharaj! We will not listen to your point” So be it, even if we have not experienced this so far, even if it is not entirely sunk in; but this is the truth! God Himself has said - “Mamaivaansho jeevaloke” (Gita 15/7) “this being is a part of Me alone” Saints and great souls have also said so - “ishvar ans jeev avinaashi” (Manas, Uttar. 117/2) Therefore I join my hands and pray to you, have mercy on me and accept this point today. Even if there is no change in you upon acceptance, there is hunger and thirst just like before, there is likes and dislikes just like before, but please do not make these talks false. We are only God’s - accept this, thereafter whether you experience or not , whether you are awakened within or not, do not worry about this. In the end, this point will become firm; because this is the truth.
It is the absolute truth that “Only God is mine, there is no else” (mere to Giridhar Gopal, doosero na koyi.) What is the difficulty in accepting this? You certainly know how to accept. Just as you accept someone as your friend, your Guru etc., similarly you also know about not accepting, just as initially you accepted yourself as a bachelor, but on getting married, you no longer saw yourself as a bachelor, but you begin to accept yourself as a married man. If you leave the household life and become a “sadhu”, then you stop considering the house, the family as your own, and you begin to regard the Guru Maharaj as your very own. Therefore you already know both – about acceptance and non-acceptance. Everyone has knowledge of acceptance and non-acceptance. Now apply this knowledge by engaging only in God, and not in the world.
The mistake we make is that while listening we accept, but then we trivialize it. Whereas that which is not true, we begin to accept it as true. One more mistake we make is that brothers-sisters say that we forget this point. Really speaking if you have firmly accepted this, then even if it is not remembered then so be it. Without remembering, you accept that you are at present in Vrindavan. Has any brother-sister completed even one “mala” repeating that “ I am in Vrindavan”? Just one time you accepted that you are currently in Vrindavan, then do you have to try to remember time and again? Is there any doubt about? When someone asks, you immediately say that you are in Vrindavan. Similarly, without remembering too, the point remains within. When you start to believe that you are in Haridwar, then this will be considered a mistake. Therefore I do not regard the not remembering as a mistake. “I am God’s” - if this is not remembered then it is not a mistake; but the mistake is when one accepts that “I am not God’s and I belong to the world.”
After accepting one time with a true heart that you belong to God, then if you don’t remember at all, so be it. Now what is to be remembered is God’s name. Repeat His divine Name (japa), remember Him, Sing His glories, meditate on His divine play, meditate on His form - these are to be done. After accepting God as your very own, let it be. But do not doubt that you are God’s. Whether you a believe or not, whether you experience or not, do not be concerned.
Many people say that what difference has this made to your life? Even if there are no changes, that is, no change in measurement, no change in weight, no change in color, no change in mannerism, no change whatsoever, then too it is OK! However “I cannot accept, I cannot remember, I am not capable, I don’t have the rights, I am not the proper recipient, I did not meet a Guru, I did not meet any saint, the times are not good, it is the age of Kali yug; the environment is not proper; associations are not good” - by talking about these, do not make trash this point. By applying various tactics, if you continue to make this point trashy, then you will not attain perfection. However, if you do not scrap this point, then surely you will attain complete knowledge. This attainment can be in a few days, months, or it can take years. If you continue to indulge in worldly pleasures, then it will take very long, but in the end you will attain that complete knowledge.
Those who work in the fields, they sow the seed in the fields and feel at ease. That seed gives birth to a sapling on its own. If time and again one takes out the seed to look at it, then the seed will never germinate. There is a story. There was a mango grove. The monkeys were eating mangoes from there so the gardener threw stones at the monkey and scared them off. While going each of the monkeys took one mango in their mouth and one in each of the hands and began to run. The monkeys had a meeting that this evil gardener is not letting us eat the mangoes! Some wise monkeys said that how can they let us eat mangoes from their own groves? If we also have a mango grove, then no one will refuse us from eating mangoes from there. They thought that we have the mango seeds, why don’t we grow these. All we have to do is sow the seed, water it then the grove will be ready, and we will eat plenty of mangoes! On consensus from all those that were present, they decided to proceed. They sowed the mango seed on the bank of a river nearby. Now, time and again they removed the seed to look to see whether the mango had started growing or not, and then they would re-plant it! Till dusk, they kept removing the seed and replanting it! Can a mango grow like this? If you want to farm, then sow the seed, water it, and become free of all worries. That which is not there right now, it will most certainly germinate and appear as sapling; then that which is the truth, why will it not materialize? We are God’s and God is ours – this is the truth and it is spontaneously realized. What is the effort required in accepting this? What force is needed? Do you need some knowledge? Do you need some abilities? The simple straight-forward point is that we are God’s and God is ours; we do not belong to the world, and the world is not ours. Now, do not root is out, like the kernel. In other words, do not test it that are there any changes in us or not? When the seed germinates, the plant will also grow, later on the mangoes will also grow and it will all be great! However have mercy and do not overlook this point. This is a very easy means of God Realization and there is nothing else to be done. Simply, “I am God’s and God is mine.” Do not waiver from this firm determination.
This brother sitting here, first regarded himself as a bachelor, but now he is married therefore he now says that he is not a bachelor. Now if someone asks, are you married? Then will he say, wait a minute, let me think; this year I did not get married, the year before also I did not get married, but twenty years ago I got married, Yes-Yes, now I remember, I am married! Why do you not say so? Because once married, it is done. This is acceptance. Even if someone asks in deep sleep, then too you will say that you are married. Similarly, “ I am God’s and God is mine” this will be remembered without attempting to remember. There will be no mistake in this. A mistake is when you will think that I am not God’s, and God is not mine; because my conduct is not proper, my behavior is not good, Do not raise such obstacles. Even if there is no faith, no trust , no remembrance of God, no changes for the better, life has not improved spiritually, even if nothing whatsoever has happened, then too do not scrap this acceptance (maanyataa), that I am God’s and God is mine.
I have even asked those great men in my eyes and they said, that those men that accept God as their very own, the responsibility of making Himself known to them is borne by God. The reason is only God can make Himself known, we cannot know Him. Where we are incapable, there God’s capabilities come to use. This is such a great point that “ I am God’s and God is mine, I am not the world’s and the world is not mine.” You have the capability of accepting this! Whatever abilities you have, that much you apply. That which you do not have, God will fulfill those. “Sune ri meinne nirbal ke bal Ram.” In those things that you are powerless, there, God’s powers comes to use. However, in those things where you are able to apply your powers, if you do not apply that strength then in this the fault is yours, the responsibility for this is not on God. You accept a few people as your own and others you do not accept as your own - why do you not apply this ability towards God? Whatever you are capable of doing, that is the extent of the hope that God has from you. That which you cannot do, God does not expect that out of you. What do you hope from a little child, do you expect that he carries a heavy bag of wheat flour and bring it home? You only expect as much as he can do. Then does God lack even that much honesty? Will God tell you to do the things that you cannot accept? That which you can accept, you must accept that! That is it! This spiritual discipline that I have shared with you today, is so easy, and so straight-forward and all can do it. Whether someone is a learned and educated person, or uneducated, whether it is a brother or a sister. Whether you have good conduct or bad, whether you have good qualities or bad qualities, whether you are a gentleman or a evil man, however you are, all can simply accept this.
It has been said for a chaste (pativrata) wife -
Ekayi dharma ek barat nemaa |
Kaayam bachan mana pati pad prema ||
(Manas, Aranya. 5/10)
This is my husband, on having a firm acceptance of this, however may be the husband, she will become a chaste wife. Was Ravan a great and extra-ordinary man? However, Mandodari being a chaste wife, followed her “Dharma” properly, whereby she was able to get to know the greatness of Lord Ram, whereas Ravan, even on being told, did not listen! Where did Mandodari gain so much knowledge? This knowledge came from “pativrata dharma”. Can God say that your husband is not of good conduct’ therefore you will not attain salvation? No, He cannot say so. If his conduct is not proper then what are we to do? We have abided in our “pativrata dharma” properly, then God will give it’s full glories - “Binu shram naari param gati lahayi” (Manas, Aranya. 5/18). The responsibility to attain that eternal and highest state, is not on her. That responsibility lies on the scriptures, the saints and on God. She fulfill her “pativrata-dharma” then she is abiding and fulfilling the commands of the Rishis-Munis, Saints-great souls, and God; therefore they will have to give her salvation. If the husband is not capable, then how is it his fault? Mother and father got her married so he became her husband. Her fault will be when she does not follow her “pativrata-dharma”. Similarly “I am God’s and God is mine” - this point, if you do not accept then it is your fault. But if you want to accept from within and you are unable to do so, then don’t be concerned. Apply your complete strength. At the very minimum, do not accept the opposite, do not trash this point. This is an extra-ordinary point that has been shared with you.
I am God’s and God is mine” - only accept this much, then further along what should happen will happen on its own. After accepting this, become free of any uncertainties and ambiguities. Now whatever effort is needed, you do. Do divine name repetition, chant the Lord’s divine name (kirtan), do satsang, engage in spiritual studies, go to the temple, behold the Lord. Do not do any actions that are opposed to God and the scriptures. To the extent that is within your control, as much as you can do, that much you should do. Do not waiver on this point, whether unfavorable times come or favorable; whether someone approves of you or opposes you. This is the truth; thus we have accepted it ! Accepted it once and for all.
Now a question can arise that if we do so, but thereafter do not attain God, then what? The answer to this is that till now, in so many years, what great work have you done, which will be short-changed? If it happens it will be gains only. From all of you present here, any of you tell me, what will be the loss? There will be no loss, and I do not deceive! There will be only gains; because this is the truth, and the truth will ultimately be realized as the truth. How long will a false thing last? By regarding this body and this world as our own, will it become ours? They have never been ours and will never be ours; however, if you regard them as yours, you will have to suffer and you will have to cry! Instead of being deceived by it, and later on accepting it as true, it is better to accept on my saying. Tell me what deception will it lead to? And if you are deceived, then you have been deceived so many times so far, therefore one more time be deceived by my saying! However if amongst you all, if any of you see this as a deception, then tell me brothers! There is no deception oin this whatsoever. Besides gains, there is not the least bit of any losses. Not only do I say this, but God Himself has said this - “mamaivaansho jeevaloke” (Gita 15/7) and Saints and great personalities have said so – “Ishvar ansh jeeva abinaashi” (Manas, Uttar 117/2). Therefore accept, grab hold of this point with a firm conviction. This is the principle that has been agreed upon by saints. Saints and Great Souls have done so and seen for themselves and they have showered us with their grace by writing this down, and to reveal it. Just as some father, earns a lot of wealth, and gives it to his son, then what effort did the son have to go through ? Similarly, this is the wealth earned by the Saints and Great Souls, which they are giving to us. Now it is our duty to protect it, not to waste it. It becomes worthless upon looking at it and doing. You regard as real, those things that are seen with your senses and intellect and the things that are done, but you consider the words of saints and great souls as imperfect. This is a mistake. That which is seen is not there. Actions are not permanent and their fruits are also not permanent. Thus depending on them, by dishonoring the Truth, do not choke the Truth. Do not cause violence to the Truth. By violating the Truth, the Truth is not harmed, rather we are harmed, we only take a fall. Truth will always remain the Truth. Truth will never be wiped out - “Naabhaavo vidhyate satah” (Gita 2/16). If you do not abide in it, you will not benefit. Therefore, accept the point that - “I am God’s and God is mine”. This point is a very easy, but of a very high stature. It encompasses everything.
Narayana! Narayana !! Narayana !!!
From "Bhagwaan se Apnaapan " in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji
"I am clueless on why some people, on earth, chase perfection. Life is meant to be dusty on some occasions, but they are simply too ambitious and hurt, if not oneself, then others for sure.
My heart cries when I see that beautiful couple drifts apart even when I ensured those two souls blend into divine oneness, as they resemble us here."
"O my Lord, I agree. He reminds me of you too, and that lady couldn't be more beautiful, I wonder. She seems special." Radha wonders.
"Yes, certainly, my love. On contrary, I have never seen anyone as miserable as her in these thousands of years. I truly feel sorry for her."
"Krishna, undoubtedly if it's not a true love, then I don't know where it can be found except in his heart. I envy her sometimes of the love she could have with her forever."
"you know, dear, each human being, down there, has something s/he can express gratitude for having. But, it's their own decisions which results into the severe pain. Apparently hell, which is built by themselves unknowingly, welcome them with all grace...!!"
"my love, I request you to enlighten me why such a lovely couple, passionate about their true love as well, drifts apart miserably."
"Certainly. But despite being powerful, I struggle from where I can start to point out the flaws that lady has in her, impeccable, self."
He adds, "The reason wasn't that he demanded something from her, but what he often asked for was her presence around him, when everything used to freeze, whenever she giggled on his jokes and simultaneously tapping his shoulder by one of her hands..!
The reason wasn't that he asked for something, it was arguably reasonable though. On contrary, he wanted to save everything for their first 'night' where blending into oneness would be inevitable.
The reason wasn't that he imposed sort of his dreams on her and persuaded her to kill her owns, but all he ever urged was a daughter from her, just as gorgeous as her mom, and with a bit glimpse of his dad's nature.
He adds,"The reason wasn't that he had been busy when the bond was unknowingly growing at a pace on both fronts. In fact, he always waited for a glimpse of her in a crowded bus and kept a seat reserved for her, but she was the culprit as sitting besides him on a rainy weather wasn't a productive way, for her, to witness time being spent.
And, one more thing, he had never asked for any sort of commitment. It was her immense and commendable commitment towards her goals, which was slowly, but steadily, suffocating his dreams of having a beautiful family with her.
She interrupts him, "such a blunder..! How she can be that much involved, so she literally missed the most precious relationship, especially written for her.
"It's awful. Isn't it?", Krishna wonders.
"My love, despite being in deep love with him, how couldn't she read his eyes, filled with feelings and dreams for themselves, and at the same time couldn't hear what her heart was yelling to her. Was she fool?"
Krishna enlightens her," O dear, that's the magic of super consciousness where brain starts vibrating at higher frequency. One cannot simply feel anything. Well, this direct connection between brain and cosmos is profound enough to allure yogis, on earth, to chase it with immense madness. How could you expect that lady to feel his love and what her heart was screaming..!??!"
She curiously inquires, "Then, how about him, by picking up each peice of his courage, telling her what he feels about her?"
"Oh my god, on what Earth, do you expect him to handle himself, especially when he witnesses a moment where she defies the gravity for the very first time on her bed. He was stunned, shocked as well."
Radha jumps off enthusiastically, "She did it. Unbelievable..! On contrary, Yogi scrifices their entire life in Himalaya's mountains to experience these enlightening moments, and she did it at just an age of 18. Truly, unbelievable. Krishna, I told you earlier she is so special..!!"
"Undoubtedly, she is. But irony is that, there; yogi scrificed their many years, and here, she scrificed her true soulmate, accompanying her when she was at her worst, to enlighten herself one more time."
"That's a ridiculous act."
He continues, "I swear, my love, I have never encouraged anyone to abundon everything just to explore the divine truth. My message, in The Bhagvad Geeta, is misinterpreted. It's sad. Isn't it?"
"Yes. You are right, and I vividly remember you always want people on Earth to excel and experience each possible domain of human life. Put your thoughts into a vision, follow your dreams, make babies and pass a legecy to the upcoming generation. Such a wonderful message it is..!!", She says and a sense of proud, she feels, sparkles through her eyes.
"Afterwards, her quest for an eternal truth leads to New York, popularly known as the city of the world. It's been more than 5 years of the promise she made to him.
"I'll be back soon. I need some time alone."
These were the words he heard from her which came out all of sudden.
I, truly, salute his kindness for providing her, the dearest person to him, her own freedom without any emotional drama, just because she could chase her only dream."
"Does it end here?" she enquires. "wow!! It has been an amazing story and I feel sorry from bottom of my heart for that gentleman." Radha spills out these words as fast as she could.
"O boy, I wish it would have concluded there, and it would, surely, clear a way for complete new beginning for that boy- a poor soul." Krishna puts his hands on her shoulder and sheds tears for him.
"Oh No, my lord. In these centuries, we had endured innumerous ups and downs of, so called, Life together, but I didn't see you being emotional or observe a kind wetness in your eyes..!!
Undoubtedly, it's his true love, but, my goodness, is it this much profound that you just couldn't hold your tears...!" She allows him to rest his head gently over her breasts.
After few epic moments of silence, of whom that lady is a big fan, Krishna approaches an awful end of one of a kind story, which may potentially leave behind its mesmerising tales of togetherness and their unprecedented love for many more centuries..!
"It is axiomatic that she is a genius and her commitment to her priorities is simply insurmountable. But life is simply meaningless if one isn't fortunate enough to put her head on his chest after an exhaustive day or nobody is waiting for her at so called 'home'. Moreover, she doesn't realise that 'sarhad par ek banda hein, jo uske liye jaan bhi de sakta hein..!!'
Such a miserable life it is..!"
"But, how about the promise she had given to him many years ago? I am sure she will return to her. She isn't a liar." Radha still holds her faith in thay lady.
A word 'promise' suddenly provokes sudden flames of anger in Krishna, which can be felt in his words easily.
"She is a liar. Even he knew she will never come back as that 'addiction' is supremely powerful and simply invincible. Days turned into months, months turned into years, and he still waits for her with a little hope of her arrival. Somewhere between this, his love has evolved by many folds on his end."
"such a bitch..! Intentionally ruining a life with a fake promise is the greatest sin.
My lord, I urge you to uphold that bitch for her deeds. I curse her for a death, grilled in turmoil and far away from the immortal peace which she is chasing single mindedly. Krishna, promise me. You won't spare her for what she has done to him."
Krishna, looking deep into her eyes, reaffirms himself, "The karma is a bitch, and now that bitch will face my wrath."
This is Something I wrote long back-