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An Easy Spiritual Discipline
!! Shri Hari !!
While giving lectures to the children of the demons, Prahladji says – what effort is required in realizing Paramatma (God, Supreme Being) ? - “koti prayaasosurbaalakaah?” (Srimad Bhagwat 7/7/38)


There is one point that one must remember regarding sense objects that, things of this world are not present in all places and at all times. For attaining these, one has to make significant effort. However God is present at all places, at all times, in all beings, and in all situations. There is not a place, time, individual, thing where he is not present. For his attainment all that is needed is intense longing. Just like we have a particular object in our possession, then it is on looking at it that we are able to see it! But to see God, it is not essential to even look in a particular direction, because Paramatma is outside, inside (within-without) and everywhere. Therefore, one can attain Him simply by longing to attain Him!
In realizing God, no effort is required. In this, the only requirement is a deep thirst, a want. And even this want is not difficult. In reality, this need is present in all human beings, naturally and on its own; because man feels something lacking within him, but the mistake he makes is that he wishes to fulfill the deficiency with the aid of the world. All things in this world cannot be acquired by all, they never have and they never will be and even if they are acquired, then too they will not remain with you. Even if the things remain, then, you will not remain. There will definitely be separation from it. Before too there was separation and later on too there will be separation. In between the union is only perceived, it is not there as such. Then too we consider our relationship with those things and desire them, this is a very big mistake.


You have considered yourself to be one with the body, this body is me and this body is mine, this is the main mistake! You are not the body! If you were the body, then you would not die at all and if you died, then you would take the body with you. After dying the body (dead) remains right here, and in that body too we are present. But neither the body goes with us, nor the body stays with us. Therefore accepting that you are the body is a mistake and to consider the body as ours is also a mistake. We cannot keep the body, the way we wish to keep it. We have no control over it, then how is it ours? If the body is not ours, then this money, wealth, glories, family etc. how are they ours? Therefore, what is the difficulty in accepting that this world is not ours? Only God is ours. It has become difficult to regard the thing that is in fact ours – God, as our very own, because we regard the world as ours.


The scriptures say that Paramatma (God) is our very own and the world in not our own - your experience tells you this. At this time though you may not believe this, you are unable to accept this; however do not lose your self-assurance. Do not think that we are unable to accept this at this time. Though it is not believed at this time, but in fact, “I am this body” this is not so. Stay firm with this point. Whether you believe or not, whether you experience it or not, do not worry about it; but do not make this point worthless.


This body is not me, and it is not mine – this point is true, and I am God’s and God is mine, this point is also true. Even on being true, it is not accepted, then this is our weakness. How can our non acceptance make the truth become false?


Questioner - How do we end up making this false?


Swamiji - Whatever we see through our senses, intellect, we consider it to be real and our own; by this the point becomes false. Due to this, even if we are unable to give up sense of mine-ness with those things, then so be it; but “body and world are not mine” this is the truth – that much you must honor. If you don’t see God, then so be it, but God is ours and we are God’s, this point is true. Even if Brahmaji says that “See you are of the world and the world is yours, you are not God’s and God is not yours,” then too clearly say that “Maharaj! We will not listen to your point” So be it, even if we have not experienced this so far, even if it is not entirely sunk in; but this is the truth! God Himself has said - “Mamaivaansho jeevaloke” (Gita 15/7) “this being is a part of Me alone” Saints and great souls have also said so - “ishvar ans jeev avinaashi” (Manas, Uttar. 117/2) Therefore I join my hands and pray to you, have mercy on me and accept this point today. Even if there is no change in you upon acceptance, there is hunger and thirst just like before, there is likes and dislikes just like before, but please do not make these talks false. We are only God’s - accept this, thereafter whether you experience or not , whether you are awakened within or not, do not worry about this. In the end, this point will become firm; because this is the truth.


It is the absolute truth that “Only God is mine, there is no else” (mere to Giridhar Gopal, doosero na koyi.) What is the difficulty in accepting this? You certainly know how to accept. Just as you accept someone as your friend, your Guru etc., similarly you also know about not accepting, just as initially you accepted yourself as a bachelor, but on getting married, you no longer saw yourself as a bachelor, but you begin to accept yourself as a married man. If you leave the household life and become a “sadhu”, then you stop considering the house, the family as your own, and you begin to regard the Guru Maharaj as your very own. Therefore you already know both – about acceptance and non-acceptance. Everyone has knowledge of acceptance and non-acceptance. Now apply this knowledge by engaging only in God, and not in the world.


The mistake we make is that while listening we accept, but then we trivialize it. Whereas that which is not true, we begin to accept it as true. One more mistake we make is that brothers-sisters say that we forget this point. Really speaking if you have firmly accepted this, then even if it is not remembered then so be it. Without remembering, you accept that you are at present in Vrindavan. Has any brother-sister completed even one “mala” repeating that “ I am in Vrindavan”? Just one time you accepted that you are currently in Vrindavan, then do you have to try to remember time and again? Is there any doubt about? When someone asks, you immediately say that you are in Vrindavan. Similarly, without remembering too, the point remains within. When you start to believe that you are in Haridwar, then this will be considered a mistake. Therefore I do not regard the not remembering as a mistake. “I am God’s” - if this is not remembered then it is not a mistake; but the mistake is when one accepts that “I am not God’s and I belong to the world.”


After accepting one time with a true heart that you belong to God, then if you don’t remember at all, so be it. Now what is to be remembered is God’s name. Repeat His divine Name (japa), remember Him, Sing His glories, meditate on His divine play, meditate on His form - these are to be done. After accepting God as your very own, let it be. But do not doubt that you are God’s. Whether you a believe or not, whether you experience or not, do not be concerned.


Many people say that what difference has this made to your life? Even if there are no changes, that is, no change in measurement, no change in weight, no change in color, no change in mannerism, no change whatsoever, then too it is OK! However “I cannot accept, I cannot remember, I am not capable, I don’t have the rights, I am not the proper recipient, I did not meet a Guru, I did not meet any saint, the times are not good, it is the age of Kali yug; the environment is not proper; associations are not good” - by talking about these, do not make trash this point. By applying various tactics, if you continue to make this point trashy, then you will not attain perfection. However, if you do not scrap this point, then surely you will attain complete knowledge. This attainment can be in a few days, months, or it can take years. If you continue to indulge in worldly pleasures, then it will take very long, but in the end you will attain that complete knowledge.


Those who work in the fields, they sow the seed in the fields and feel at ease. That seed gives birth to a sapling on its own. If time and again one takes out the seed to look at it, then the seed will never germinate. There is a story. There was a mango grove. The monkeys were eating mangoes from there so the gardener threw stones at the monkey and scared them off. While going each of the monkeys took one mango in their mouth and one in each of the hands and began to run. The monkeys had a meeting that this evil gardener is not letting us eat the mangoes! Some wise monkeys said that how can they let us eat mangoes from their own groves? If we also have a mango grove, then no one will refuse us from eating mangoes from there. They thought that we have the mango seeds, why don’t we grow these. All we have to do is sow the seed, water it then the grove will be ready, and we will eat plenty of mangoes! On consensus from all those that were present, they decided to proceed. They sowed the mango seed on the bank of a river nearby. Now, time and again they removed the seed to look to see whether the mango had started growing or not, and then they would re-plant it! Till dusk, they kept removing the seed and replanting it! Can a mango grow like this? If you want to farm, then sow the seed, water it, and become free of all worries. That which is not there right now, it will most certainly germinate and appear as sapling; then that which is the truth, why will it not materialize? We are God’s and God is ours – this is the truth and it is spontaneously realized. What is the effort required in accepting this? What force is needed? Do you need some knowledge? Do you need some abilities? The simple straight-forward point is that we are God’s and God is ours; we do not belong to the world, and the world is not ours. Now, do not root is out, like the kernel. In other words, do not test it that are there any changes in us or not? When the seed germinates, the plant will also grow, later on the mangoes will also grow and it will all be great! However have mercy and do not overlook this point. This is a very easy means of God Realization and there is nothing else to be done. Simply, “I am God’s and God is mine.” Do not waiver from this firm determination.


This brother sitting here, first regarded himself as a bachelor, but now he is married therefore he now says that he is not a bachelor. Now if someone asks, are you married? Then will he say, wait a minute, let me think; this year I did not get married, the year before also I did not get married, but twenty years ago I got married, Yes-Yes, now I remember, I am married! Why do you not say so? Because once married, it is done. This is acceptance. Even if someone asks in deep sleep, then too you will say that you are married. Similarly, “ I am God’s and God is mine” this will be remembered without attempting to remember. There will be no mistake in this. A mistake is when you will think that I am not God’s, and God is not mine; because my conduct is not proper, my behavior is not good, Do not raise such obstacles. Even if there is no faith, no trust , no remembrance of God, no changes for the better, life has not improved spiritually, even if nothing whatsoever has happened, then too do not scrap this acceptance (maanyataa), that I am God’s and God is mine.


I have even asked those great men in my eyes and they said, that those men that accept God as their very own, the responsibility of making Himself known to them is borne by God. The reason is only God can make Himself known, we cannot know Him. Where we are incapable, there God’s capabilities come to use. This is such a great point that “ I am God’s and God is mine, I am not the world’s and the world is not mine.” You have the capability of accepting this! Whatever abilities you have, that much you apply. That which you do not have, God will fulfill those. “Sune ri meinne nirbal ke bal Ram.” In those things that you are powerless, there, God’s powers comes to use. However, in those things where you are able to apply your powers, if you do not apply that strength then in this the fault is yours, the responsibility for this is not on God. You accept a few people as your own and others you do not accept as your own - why do you not apply this ability towards God? Whatever you are capable of doing, that is the extent of the hope that God has from you. That which you cannot do, God does not expect that out of you. What do you hope from a little child, do you expect that he carries a heavy bag of wheat flour and bring it home? You only expect as much as he can do. Then does God lack even that much honesty? Will God tell you to do the things that you cannot accept? That which you can accept, you must accept that! That is it! This spiritual discipline that I have shared with you today, is so easy, and so straight-forward and all can do it. Whether someone is a learned and educated person, or uneducated, whether it is a brother or a sister. Whether you have good conduct or bad, whether you have good qualities or bad qualities, whether you are a gentleman or a evil man, however you are, all can simply accept this.


It has been said for a chaste (pativrata) wife -


Ekayi dharma ek barat nemaa |
Kaayam bachan mana pati pad prema ||
(Manas, Aranya. 5/10)


This is my husband, on having a firm acceptance of this, however may be the husband, she will become a chaste wife. Was Ravan a great and extra-ordinary man? However, Mandodari being a chaste wife, followed her “Dharma” properly, whereby she was able to get to know the greatness of Lord Ram, whereas Ravan, even on being told, did not listen! Where did Mandodari gain so much knowledge? This knowledge came from “pativrata dharma”. Can God say that your husband is not of good conduct’ therefore you will not attain salvation? No, He cannot say so. If his conduct is not proper then what are we to do? We have abided in our “pativrata dharma” properly, then God will give it’s full glories - “Binu shram naari param gati lahayi” (Manas, Aranya. 5/18). The responsibility to attain that eternal and highest state, is not on her. That responsibility lies on the scriptures, the saints and on God. She fulfill her “pativrata-dharma” then she is abiding and fulfilling the commands of the Rishis-Munis, Saints-great souls, and God; therefore they will have to give her salvation. If the husband is not capable, then how is it his fault? Mother and father got her married so he became her husband. Her fault will be when she does not follow her “pativrata-dharma”. Similarly “I am God’s and God is mine” - this point, if you do not accept then it is your fault. But if you want to accept from within and you are unable to do so, then don’t be concerned. Apply your complete strength. At the very minimum, do not accept the opposite, do not trash this point. This is an extra-ordinary point that has been shared with you.


I am God’s and God is mine” - only accept this much, then further along what should happen will happen on its own. After accepting this, become free of any uncertainties and ambiguities. Now whatever effort is needed, you do. Do divine name repetition, chant the Lord’s divine name (kirtan), do satsang, engage in spiritual studies, go to the temple, behold the Lord. Do not do any actions that are opposed to God and the scriptures. To the extent that is within your control, as much as you can do, that much you should do. Do not waiver on this point, whether unfavorable times come or favorable; whether someone approves of you or opposes you. This is the truth; thus we have accepted it ! Accepted it once and for all.


Now a question can arise that if we do so, but thereafter do not attain God, then what? The answer to this is that till now, in so many years, what great work have you done, which will be short-changed? If it happens it will be gains only. From all of you present here, any of you tell me, what will be the loss? There will be no loss, and I do not deceive! There will be only gains; because this is the truth, and the truth will ultimately be realized as the truth. How long will a false thing last? By regarding this body and this world as our own, will it become ours? They have never been ours and will never be ours; however, if you regard them as yours, you will have to suffer and you will have to cry! Instead of being deceived by it, and later on accepting it as true, it is better to accept on my saying. Tell me what deception will it lead to? And if you are deceived, then you have been deceived so many times so far, therefore one more time be deceived by my saying! However if amongst you all, if any of you see this as a deception, then tell me brothers! There is no deception oin this whatsoever. Besides gains, there is not the least bit of any losses. Not only do I say this, but God Himself has said this - “mamaivaansho jeevaloke” (Gita 15/7) and Saints and great personalities have said so – “Ishvar ansh jeeva abinaashi” (Manas, Uttar 117/2). Therefore accept, grab hold of this point with a firm conviction. This is the principle that has been agreed upon by saints. Saints and Great Souls have done so and seen for themselves and they have showered us with their grace by writing this down, and to reveal it. Just as some father, earns a lot of wealth, and gives it to his son, then what effort did the son have to go through ? Similarly, this is the wealth earned by the Saints and Great Souls, which they are giving to us. Now it is our duty to protect it, not to waste it. It becomes worthless upon looking at it and doing. You regard as real, those things that are seen with your senses and intellect and the things that are done, but you consider the words of saints and great souls as imperfect. This is a mistake. That which is seen is not there. Actions are not permanent and their fruits are also not permanent. Thus depending on them, by dishonoring the Truth, do not choke the Truth. Do not cause violence to the Truth. By violating the Truth, the Truth is not harmed, rather we are harmed, we only take a fall. Truth will always remain the Truth. Truth will never be wiped out - “Naabhaavo vidhyate satah” (Gita 2/16). If you do not abide in it, you will not benefit. Therefore, accept the point that - “I am God’s and God is mine”. This point is a very easy, but of a very high stature. It encompasses everything.


Narayana! Narayana !! Narayana !!!


From "Bhagwaan se Apnaapan " in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji

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Respect Your Experience
There is one very great point. Have mercy on me andplease pay attention. Whatever circumstances one has been placedin, consider those circumstances and situations as best of all andutilize it well, then you will be benefited. Whatever things youhave received, you don't need any more things than that. Howevermuch knowledge you have, you don't need to know any more thanthat. The amount of strength that you have, you don't need anymore than that. Paramatma (God) can be realized simply byputting to proper use the strength, the intellect, the abilities, thecircumstances etc. that you have. This is the absolute Truth and isthe principle.Your knowledge is not less, however, what you know youare not utilizing it well. You do not give it importance - that isyour limitation. The circumstances that have been presented infront of you, will not remain like this forever. This knowledge isnot something that you know only slightly, you know thiscompletely and entirely. If you utilize this knowledge properly,then this knowledge that you have is adequate for your benefit. Itis not even slightly deficient. The proper utilization of thisknowledge is that, do not get trapped in the circumstances thathave presented themselves to you. Neither become elated ordejected in them.Questioner: We know this point, however the extentwe desire to know, that much knowledge we do not have.Swamiji: Whatever you have knowledge about, are youutilizing that knowledge properly? Those things that you know tobe perishable, do you have desire to attain it or not?Questioner: Yes we do.Swamiji: Then where have you understood the term"perishable"? In reality, if you truly understood "perishable", thenyou would not desire to attain it. What is the gain in attaining theperishable? Just like a wealthy man has money. Without themoney he would not be called wealthy, similarly this world hasonly perishables and perishing things. That which is perishablehow can it benefit us, how can it be for our welfare?You your “self” are not perishable, rather the body isperishable. That which you have received is going to perish, butyou the “self” will not perish. Things were not there initially andwill not be there later on. Rather even in the present it iscontinuously moving towards destruction. You were there initiallyand will remain even after. Your existence will remain at all times.A question was put forth to me, that in the present how to gainknowledge of our existence in the future? The answer to that is,that you are afraid to do bad things and you are pleased when youdo good deeds; because you are of the sentiment that by doing evildeeds you will later on suffer, and by doing good deeds, you willgain happiness in the future. This is proof that you have acceptedyour existence in the future. If we do not accept our existence inthe future, then who will go to heaven? Who will go to hell? Youwill be reincarnated? Who will be liberated? On attainingsalvation, you will be blissful or will the world be joyful? Thepoint is that you will remain, and the body and other things willnot.If you think carefully how can that which is eternal andimperishable attain happiness from perishable? By saying thatsomething is perishable it means, it is nothing but destructible,besides being destructible and perishable, it has nothing."Ant tohi tajainge paamar tu ne tajai ab hi te."That thing which is going to perish, utilize it but do not
trust it. Do not depend on it as your support, having the notion
that this thing will gratify me, that it will lead to my prosperity etc.
Think deeply about this - By getting those things that are currently
not with you, how will you be gratified? How will you prosper?
That which is not there right now, will also not remain later on in
the future. It will break away, therefore how will it make you
happy? Who knows with certainty whether you get it or not? And
even if you get it, then too it will not remain, because that which is
perishable and destructible will perish.
The body etc. is perishable - this you know, but you do
not believe it. In other words, you do not give importance to that
which you know to be true. If you gave importance to what you
know, then you would not depend on perishables. You would not
have any expectation or hope from these perishables. You would
not become happy on getting them or meeting them. You would
not be saddened by not getting or meeting them. You would not
desire for them to remain forever and forever. You would not
worry about them perishing. On not attaining the situations that
you desire, you become unhappy. Then this unhappiness is
nothing but stupidity. It is only stupidity. To want to hold on to
those things and situations that will not remain, and later being
saddened by their departure - what else is all this besides stupidity?
If some calamity comes to us, some sorrow comes to us, than we
think how will this go away? But in reality, it is going away.
Whether it is favorable situations or unfavorable ones, they will not
remain. That which comes, is of the nature to go away.
Sarve kshayaantaa nichayaah patanaantaah samuchryaah
sanyogaa viprayogontaa marayaantam cha jeevitam (Valmiki
2/105/16)
The end of all hoarding is utter annihilation. The end of
all worldly successes is a fall. The end of coming together is parting
ways. The end of life is death.
That which is going to part, how can one gain happiness
on meeting it? What is there to be unhappy by it's going away.
Neither happiness remains, nor sorrow remains. Only the self
remains. If the one that remains (Self), becomes one that which
comes and goes, one that is happy and sad, then it is only it's own
foolishness.
It is only on attaining That which never perishes, and
That which is present right now, Paramatma, one will gain the kind
of happiness that remains forever. Besides Paramatma if you
become satisfied with anything else, whether it is respect, honor,
fame, relaxation, money, family, prosperity etc., you will be
cheated.
I am telling you that which is already in your experience.
Whether there may be someone highly educated, or someone that
has not read a single alphabet, I am telling only that which is in
their experience. I am not telling you something that is of a
particular “varna”, of particular stage in life, of a particular caste,
community, race, of a certain organization or lineage, rather I am
telling you something that is the experience of all of mankind.
That which has come together, will inevitably part - this is the law
of life. Now tell me whose exclusive experience is this – of the
Hindus, or of the Muslims, or of the Christians? It pertains to
whom – to children, to young ones of age, or to the elders?
Whose experience is this - women or men’s? Of saint’s, or sadhu’s
or householder’s? Whose experience is this - tell me? This point
belongs to all. Please give attention to this. If you do so, you will
be blessed and fortunate. What does giving attention mean?
Simply speaking, do not become happy or unhappy by lending
importance to the thing or situation which is transitory.
Why do you seek the support of a thing that is going to
separate from you? First you took it's support, then on
experiencing the separation, you became unhappy, then too you
take it's very support and time and again experience suffering! If
you are not pleased or displeased by things subject to birth and decay, then you will realize the unmanifested Supreme Truth of
Life (Paramatma). To desire that which has an origin and later
decays, that whose birth and death you know, and to feel happy
having obtained it, “is” in reality the maze or bondage of life.
Besides this you have no other dilemma. If you eradicate or root
out this maze, you will attain Paramatmatattva (God). That
Divine Essence (God) has no end or separableness. It ever
remains AS-IS, because it is the Truth (Sat). The real never ceases
to be - "naabhaavo vidhyate satah." (Gita 2/16).
If someone insults you, you become very unhappy, then is
the insult abiding and everlasting? When someone honours you
and you feel happy, then is that honour everlasting? You (Self) will
remain. It is a matter of wonder, that the everlasting becomes
happy and sad with the ever fleeting things. At the very beginning
in the Gita, Bhagwaan gives the following message –
na tvevaaham jaatu naasam ne tvam neme janaadhipaah
na chaiva ne bhavishyaamah sarva vayamatah param
(Gita 2/12)
Neither I, nor you, nor the kings were here before. Nor
will they remain later on. What was meant by these words? It
means, that right now the situation you are in, it will not remain
later on. That thing or circumstance which ever changing, it will
vanish into thin air, in course of time. Of what avail is it in then to
be sad or unhappy? Why are you becoming happy on attaining it?
If you received honour, then what avail is it? What did you gain
by receiving honour? You Sheer deception. Besides deception
you received nothing else. Knowingly why do you suffer a
deception? From today consciousness should dawn and grow, that
you will not be pleased when honoured and displeased when
dishonoured. As neither honour, nor the dishonour are
everlasting. What difference does it make to you in either case?
Achievement of that which is ever changing or decaying is thus as
good as no achievement at all. In reality, the perishable is
constantly going away from you every moment. Neither happiness will stay, nor unhappiness will stay. If you get these then what
difference does it make? What you got was perishable only. If you
get it, then too you did not get, and if you did not get it, then too
you did not get it. In reality, there is always separation from that
which is perishing, there is no union at all. Union is only
something you have accepted. That which is always separating,
will not stay with you at all, what is there to become happy or
unhappy with it? Is this true or not? Tell me.
Listener: This is absolutely true!
Swamiji: If this is absolutely true, then why cause any
delay? Accept this truth, at this very moment. There should not
be any delay in this. It permits of no future, not even a minute or
two! If you do not get pleased or displeased by the perishable, you
will attain the Imperishable. If you do not, you may twist my ear.
नारायण ! नारायण ! नारायण !
From book in Hindi "Acche Bano" by Swami
Ramsukhdasji

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How to Attain Victory Over Anger
Just as you learn to keep accounts, and when you learn the key elements of accounting then tracking becomes very easy. Similarly there is a main point, the key element, the root of every question, and if you learn this then the answer to that question will automatically come to you.The question that has come is that how to attain victory over anger? Then the question really is, where does anger come from? Gita says - “Anger comes from desire” - “kaamaatkrodhaayabhijaayate” (Gita 2/62). What is that anger? Human beings have understood that “desires are for money, wealth, grandeur, power, etc.” - These are also desires, but what is the main and real desire? “This should happen and this should not happen” - the name of this subtle want within is called “desire”.
First you hold on to the point that “this should certainly happen” and when that does not happen, then you become angry. And “This should not happen” and when someone does that or does something opposing to your wishes, then you get angry. This should happen and this should not happen, this is the root of all anger.
There is no gain in desiring that it should happen like this, or it should not happen like this; because will the world ask us before doing something? Will they do according to your liking? You want from your wife, son and servant that they should listen to you, then do they not wish the same of you? If they have nothing on their mind then they will do as you say, but in their minds too there is that thought that “ I will do it this way or not do it this way” then how will they listen only to you? When you too are not willing to listen to how they want things done, then what rights do you have that they should listen to your ways? Therefore when the feeling arises within that “This should happen like this and it should not happen like this” - then leave the insistence that the person should do it like that alone. In this insistence is your pride, in other words, I am greater, therefore he should listen to me. This pride of greatness is the main cause, and when things do not happen the way you want, then that pride itself comes in the form of anger.
If you desire peace then give up pride; because pride is the root of all the demoniac qualities. In the shadow of pride of greatness lies all the demoniac qualities of Kaliyug, All the bad qualities pertaining to demoniac qualities such as anger, greed, attachment, jealousy, passion, hypocrisy, deceit etc., they all come under the umbrella of pride, because pride is their king. If you do not give up pride then how will anger go away! Therefore give up that pride.
Now what is the solution for giving it up? Those who do not listen to you, they are helping you in getting rid of your pride, and those who listen and do as you say, they are swelling your pride - are you getting this point or not? The people who are obeying you are not benefiting you as much as, those who don’t do as you say. For you own good, the more that your pride is confronted the more better it is for you. Therefore you must be grateful to those who are not listening to you, because as such this is for our own well-being.
If they knowingly do not listen to you, saying that brother, we are not listening to you because it is for your own good, as your pride will go away, then to it is to your benefit only. They are not further swelling your pride i.e. your pride is not getting further bloated. Do you not wish for what is for your good or do you not? Do you want your spiritual progress or do you want your downfall? If you desire your spiritual growth, then it will be possible only when you are free of pride. And you will become free of pride when no one listens to you. If someone listens to you, then your words become established and this itself is cause for pride. This itself is demoniac tendency - “dambho darpobhimaanashrav krodhah” (Gita 16/4). Therefore those who do not listen to you, they are gracing you immensely. They are removing your demoniac tendencies and instilling divine tendencies in you.
Now the question that has come is that by not listening the child will become insolent and arrogant? By listening to you, you will become filled with pride, and if he does not listen then he will become insolent - now think deeply on these two points. If you are not there, then too by doing as he wants he will become insolent regardless, however how will your pride go away? Insolent he will be regardless of you, but your pride will not go away. Therefore you must get rid of your pride first and the foremost.
Second point is that if you do not dominate over him then your mild nature, that is free from pride will make an impression on him, by which his insolence will go away, rather he will become alright. You say to him that brother, you must not do this sort of work, and even thereafter if he does so, let go and become peaceful and silent. If he behaves insolently, he will get the consequences of his actions. On getting the fruits, he will become alert, and then his insolence will automatically go away. But by your persistent telling, his insolence will not go away as quickly as it would go away from suffering the consequences of his insolent behavior. The reason for this is that in his mind he will hold on to his own points, and what you say will stay superficially on the surface like silver plating. That plating will wear off, then how can his insolence go away entirely? The real solution to getting rid of his insolence is to get rid of your own pride.
If man wants to live in a family, then he must learn how to live in a family. The art of living in the family is that do as they say, do according what their wishes are. Fulfill your duty and make them happy.
What does it mean to live in a family? You have certain obligation to fulfill your duty. What is your duty? To fulfill your duties properly, whether the wife listens, does not listen, whether the son listens, does not listen, whether brother listens, does not listen, whether parents listen, do not listen. Do not ever look towards whether they do their duty or not. When you look towards their duty, and see towards their insolent or rebellious behavior etc., during such times you are deviating from your duty. Rather, you are falling from your duty. As such, where has it been said that your duty is to see towards other’s faults? No where in the scriptures it has been said that you see towards other’s faults; rather it has been said that this world is made up of the three constituents of nature (mode of passion “rajas”, ignorance “tamas” and goodness “sattva”, it is filled with faults.
Gun yah ubhaya na dekhiahin dekhia so abibek ||
(Manas 7/41)If others have good qualities you may see them, but do not see their bad qualities. If you see towards their bad qualities, those qualities will come in you. And on seeing those bad qualities if you are getting angry with them to rescue them from their willful acts, then you cannot be saved from that anger. Therefore you do your duty. We are not to see towards other’s duty, nor are we to see towards their flaws. Yes! If you have a son, then it is your duty to teach him good lessons, but wanting that he should do exactly as you say - that is not your duty. That is his duty. It is not your duty to show him what his duty is. Your duty is only to say that son, look it is not good to do like this. If he says - “no, no father, I will do it like this”; then say – “OK, do it that way!” This is a very good medicine. I too am taking this medicine. The medicine that has been given, is a very effective medicine. If you say – “Do like this” and if he says, “No ! I will do like that only.” Then
simply say – “OK! do it like that.”Rajjab ros na kijiye koyi kahe kyon hi |
Hasker utter dijiye haa babaji yu hi ||If what he is doing is sinful or unlawful, then do not accept it. We are to say that which is in accordance with the scriptures, however if they do not listen, then do the scriptures say to fight with them or to control them? You only have the rights to tell them what you know to be true, “karmanyavaadhikaaraste” (Gita 2/47) but thinking that they should do exactly as you say - that is the fruit, to which you have no rights. “Maa phaleshu kadaachan” (Gita 2/47). You have done your part, your duty was only to point out. It was not your duty to make then do as you say! To do as you say is their duty. We only have to explain their duty. If they fulfill their duty then there is no obstacle in your spiritual progress and if they do not fulfill their duty then too there is no loss. There is no loss for you at all, because you have said what is for their welfare. This is a priceless point !
Narayana! Narayana !! Narayana !!!
From "Jeevan Upyogi Pravachan " in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji

नारायण ! नारायण ! नारायण !

To read in HINDI: http://www.satcharcha.blogspot.comTo read in ENGLISH: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sadhakaTo ask questions, send message to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gita-talk

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So much more than a Girl, a Human Being
#GirlChild

"Can women be easy?
It's better to simplify... perhaps the concept of easy comes out of order. Can be easy ofering their love, believe in purety of a word or gesture, easy in taking care, easy to love, easy in believing in magic of beings, in beauty of feelings without grids, easy in believing in kindness and in love facilities.
Does feeling got to be difficult?
It is no more difficult the pretendings that requires coverage?, the tiredness of the arm in rist, the maintenance of the easy spent lie?
Women are not games with difficulties levells. They do not expect invasions of a bunch of players that trade between them secrets of passages. Women are not flesh in showcases, neitheir taxiway vehicles. They are not community goods, neither perishable foodstuffs. Women are human beings. (...) They are not easy women, they are dreaming women. (...)
Let the women decide what they want to do with their bodies, take their decisions (and if they are not capable of taking safe decisions, help them or let they be), to express their feelings as they wish, to live their eccentricities, pains and unities. Let, let they live! They belong to themselves. There is no easy or difficult, there is respect and lack of it. There is trust and cowardice. There is honesty and weed intentions. There is truth and lie. There is giving by giving and there is manipulation to lead to giving. Ugly is not what each do with their bodies, ugly is to deceive, cuss and imprecate. (...)
We need self love and balance to our minds, as we need oxygen for our tissues. Be easy... in closing the door to the lips that lie to you. Follow your inner voice, never deceives you. (...)
Do not chase fairy tales, you could be at the wrong story. Do not get rush to join characters to your story... work hard the robustness of the protagonist. The rest will come. Start your chapter with a powerful "I love me!", I deserve a balanced life, I deserve being with who respects me and cares about me, I deserve being with who helps me grow, evolve. (...)"
In Ana Terra's writings
Image from "My Precious!" painting

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The Secret to Happiness Is 10 Specific Behaviors

Despite happiness being a primary human motivation, only one in three Americans say they’re very happy.
Several years ago in an interview with Conan O’Brien, Louis C. K. tells of flying on a newly equipped Wi-Fi airplane. He was amazed by the new technology. Until, during the flight, the Wi-Fi went down. Immediately, the man next to him became extremely upset. “As though the world owes this man something he only knew existed 10 seconds ago.”
Louis C. K. continues by describing people’s absurd frustrations with flying in general. People complain about it all the time “It was the worst day of my life! It took 20 minutes to board! We had to sit on the runway for 40 minutes!”
We hear complaints like these all the time. As if we’ve forgotten how incredible it is that humans can fly at all.
How are we so quick to take for granted the remarkable things going on in life?
Why is it so easy to complain?
Why do we focus on the negative?
Everything is amazing and nobody is happy.
However, happiness can easily be achieved even without the brilliant advances in the world.
Rather than being reactive to what’s going on around us, happy people take control of their lives and emotions. If you are unhappy with your life, who or what else can you blame than yourself? And if you can blame someone or something else, how is blame going to make your life any better?
Bad stuff happens to everyone. But life isn’t about what happens to you. It’s about how you proactively respond.
The following 10 behaviors, if applied, will change your life. Let me be clear, if you do these things, you will be an incredibly happy person.


1. Let Go Of The Need For Specific Outcomes
Not everything in life goes exactly how we plan. There are setbacks. Stuff happens. We mess up. Over-obsessing and basing happiness on specific outcomes leads to misery. Jeremy Piven, the famous actor, was recently interviewed by Success Magazine. During the interview, he mentioned that, as an actor, the only way to work is to go out and audition for specific roles.The challenge most actors/actresses face is that they get in their own way. It doesn’t matter how much homework they’ve done. If they’re too tied to a specific result, they can’t be present in the moment. They can’t truly perform their art. They come off as desperate. They get in their own way. Their performance isn’t what it could have been.Jeremy said that when he quit worrying about a specific result, he was able to be present during his auditions. He was able to be completely who he wanted to be. He wasn’t trying to be what he thought others wanted him to be. He performed his art.If he didn’t get the gig, either they didn’t get it or it just wasn’t the right fit. So he moves on to the next. In this way, he’s able to get the jobs he’s supposed to have. He’s not just trying to get anything he can get.
2. Define Your Own Success And Happiness
“Be everything to everybody and you’ll be nothing for yourself.” — John Rushton


No two human beings are the same. So why should we have one standard of success? Seeking society’s standard of success is an endless rat-race. There will always be someone better than you. You’ll never have the time to do everything.Instead, you recognize that every decision has opportunity cost. When you choose one thing, you simultaneously don’t choose several others. And that’s okay. Actually, it’s beautiful because we get to choose our ultimate ideal. We must define success, wealth, and happiness in our own terms because if we don’t, society will for us — and we will always fall short. We’ll always be left wanting. We’ll always be stuck comparing ourselves and competing with other people. Our lives will be an endless race for the next best thing. We’ll never experience contentment.
3. Commit 100 Percent To The Things That Make You Happy
“Many of us have convinced ourselves that we are able to break our own personal rules “just this once.” In our minds, we can justify these small choices. None of those things, when they first happen, feels like a life-changing decision. The marginal costs are almost always low. But each of those decisions can roll up into a much bigger picture, turning you into the kind of person you never wanted to be.” — Clayton Christensen
People are really good at self-sabotage. We consistently behave in ways that contradict our goals and ideals. This is incongruence. As Mahatma Gandhi has said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” The smaller the gap between what you should do, and what you actually do — the happier you will be.
Hence, Clayton Christensen says 100 percent commitment is easier than 98 percent commitment. When you fully commit to something, the decision has been made. Consequently, regarding that thing, all future decisions have been made.
Unless you’re committed 100 percent, you will always be a victim to external circumstances. By relying on willpower, you’ll crumble more often than you think. Research has found that people over-inflate their own performance. Chances are, you probably think you’re doing better at your resolves than you really are.
But once you’re 100 percent committed, you no longer need to rely on willpower. Your decision has already been made regardless of the circumstances. Saying “No” to anything outside our highest ideals becomes extremely easy. This is living proactively rather than reactively.


4. Be Grateful For What You Already Have
“Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present — love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness] — the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach


Happiness is as simple as gratitude. Psychological research has found that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits:




Physical

Stronger immune systems, Less bothered by aches and pains, Lower blood pressure, Exercise more and take better care of their health, Sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking

Psychological
Higher levels of positive emotions, More alert, alive, and awake, More joy and pleasure, More optimism and happinessSocial

More helpful, generous, and compassionate, More forgiving, More outgoing, Feel less lonely and isolatedDespite these benefits, most people ungratefully focus on what they don’t have. As a culture, we have become wasteful and undisciplined consumers. The grass is always greener on the other side. A constant pursuit of having more of the newest and best.
How could you possibly find happiness when you relentlessly want more and never find properly appreciate what you have?
It’s time for you to learn how to be more grateful. Your happiness depends on it.


5. Say “I Love You” More

This may be strange, but if you tell your friends and family you love them, they’ll be blown away. I once knew a Polynesian missionary who told everyone he loved them. It was clear he was sincere.I asked him why he did it. What he told me changed my life. “When I tell people I love them, it not only changes them, but it changes me. Simply by saying the words, I feel more love for that person. I’ve been telling people all around me I love them. They feel treasured by me. Those who know me have come to expect it. When I forget to say it, they miss it.”Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”As my wife, Lauren, tells our children daily, “The secret to happiness is to make everyone around you happy.” By default, you will get the satisfaction of bringing joy to others and their positive energy will come back to you.

6. Have Hobbies Directed Toward Your Dreams

Most people’s hobbies are just hobbies. And that’s okay. It’s good to have an escape from reality. However, research has found that a person can experience leisure in anything. Your work can become your leisure — where it literally rejuvenates you.When I decided where I wanted my life to go, my life vision, I consciously chose hobbies that would best get me there. Some of these hobbies include exercise, reading, writing, journaling, having deep and meaningful conversations, and being in nature. These hobbies refresh and rejuvenate me while simultaneously pushing me toward my dreams.

7. Don’t Wait Til Tomorrow For What You Can Do Today
“When I was around thirteen and my brother ten, Father had promised to take us to the circus. But at lunchtime there was a phone call; some urgent business required his attention downtown. We braced ourselves for disappointment. Then we heard him say [into the phone], ‘No, I won’t be down. It’ll have to wait.’“When he came back to the table, Mother smiled. ‘The circus keeps coming back, you know,’ [she said.]“‘I know,’ said Father. ‘But childhood doesn’t.’” — Arthur GordonHappiness comes from embracing the now. Not letting those moments pass you by. Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, tells of the story of missing his child being born to be at an “important meeting.” He thought the potential client would be impressed with his commitment to work. Instead, they saw his decision to miss such a monumental moment as a flaw in character. That moment was a turning point for Greg. In fact, it spurred him to change everything about his life. He now removes everything from his life that is not vital and essential.Nothing in life is permanent. Kids grow up. Friends move away. Our loved ones pass on from this life. Let’s live in the present and appreciate the most important things in our lives before it’s too late.

8. Do Something Every Day That Terrifies You
Happy people step out of their comfort zone. You can’t grow if you don’t challenge yourself. And growth is a requirement of happiness. If you’re not growing, you’re slowly decaying and dying.
Elevated risk makes you feel more alive and puts you in a state of flow — which is an optimal conscious state where you feel and perform at your highest level. You become completely absorbed in what you’re doing — pure presence.
When you do things way outside your comfort zone, you naturally raise your conscious level. When you do things that involve high risk, and high probability of failure, you are forced to think differently than you normally do. You are forced to be creative and innovative.
Sadly, most people play life small, safe, and easy. The goals they pursue are logical. There is little element of risk and little requirement for faith.
Consequently, you should take bigger risks in your life. Do things that make you feel alive and activate flow. Of course, with this will come more failures. But if you’re not failing, you’re not growing. Rather than experiencing apathy in life, you’ll experience more of a roller-coaster of emotions. We can never appreciate joy if we’ve never felt sorrow. The more pain and fear we feel, the more we can comprehend and appreciate joy and happiness.


9. Put “The Important” Before “The Urgent”
Stephen Covey says that most people spend their time on urgent but unimportant things. We wake up and immediately check our email. Thus, we put our lives on reactive, rather than proactive mode. After all, email is simply a database of other people’s agendas.
Instead, happy people always put the important stuff first. Not only important, but important and non-urgent. The important stuff includes exercise, reading good books, setting goals, writing in your journal, and spending time with those you love. None of these things are urgent. We could easily put these things off until tomorrow — which is ultimately never. The most happy and successful people in the world spend most of their time on the important.
One of my favorite non-urgent yet important things is my morning routine. I wake up several hours before I start my work day. I meditate and pray to put myself in a space of gratitude and abundance. Then I get my body moving with exercise or yard work. I eat healthy food, read my long-term goals, listen to uplifting content, and do at least one thing to move me toward my goals.


10. Forgo The Good To Pursue The Best
A lot of things in life are good, even great. That doesn’t mean we should do them. In Good to Great, Jim Collins says that once-in-a-lifetime opportunities come up every day. Most people take any great opportunity that comes their way, even if it’s not in alignment with their life vision. Consequently, most people’s lives are moving in a thousand different directions. They aren’t able to consciously move forward in a singular direction.
On the other hand, happy people say no to even amazing opportunities. They will not sacrifice freedom for security. They will not get derailed by distractions — even sexy and attractive distractions.
Very few things in life are best. You can only determine what’s best for you once you know where you want your life to go. Be careful not to continuously engage in good activities and miss the best ones.


Conclusion

Happy people live in the present. They don’t miss the moments that matter most. They are incredibly grateful for all they have. They focus their lives on the important and essential. They forgo the many good opportunities in order to focus on the few best ones.


This article was originally published at the:
Observer.

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