I often blame myself for my difficult character because it makes everything difficult.. (Caption...) (Read Caption..) I often blame myself for my difficult character because it makes everything difficult. Even taking the bus is exhausting, giving a chance, having dreams, walking down the street alone, make friends. The buses, where I live, resemble a boxing ring, so clumsiness is out of the question. You have to be tough, rough, fast. You have to push, push your way through to find a tiny space. It's exhausting because I forget the beauty of things when I'm betrayed, because I am not able to give other possibilities, because I lose sight of forgiveness and let myself be overwhelmed by negative emotions, from resentment, from anger. Because every disappointment makes me more and more suspicious, more and more distant, afraid. And I'm tired of even dreaming because every goal makes me weak, that extremely strong, in the sense that I want to achieve that goal that I have set myself at any cost, without looking back, aiming only at that, and that makes me strong.
