i'm so sick of myself, i'd rather be, rather be anyone, anyone else, jealousy, jealousy.* i'd rather swallow, no, gnaw at these pop ups, these thoughts, these emotions, if i could, i will tear my chest apart and manhandle the weight that's there, that's been weighing me down. maybe i can gulp a handful of "i am at fault" while sliding down the seesaw of pity. what will i not give in return, to have someone, anyone, rob me of my jealousy, jealousy leaving that corrupted space inside me empty, i will at least make noises that aren't fake. i'd rather be caught up anywhere, than here, it's reeking here, for i give out nothing but pungency. i'm so sick of myself, i'd rather be, rather be anyone, anyone else, jealousy, jealousy.* i'd rather swallow, no, gnaw at these pop ups, these thoughts,
