One of the things you’ll hear us say a lot on this site is that being a dad is your most important job. It’s true, and we hope you start to see it that way too. But it’s also worth questioning whether “job” is the right word to describe fatherhood.
Because clearly some parents turn it into a job, much to the detriment of their children. Not in that they make being a mom or a dad a chore, but that they see it as something for which their labor should be compensated, where some kind of exchange should occur. My job is to put a roof over your head and clothes on your back, to read all the best parenting books and stay up on the latest parenting trends; your job is to get good grades, to clean your room, to obey. While it may not be the intention of those parents, it can start to feel like that unconditional love might not be so unconditional.
And if it doesn’t become strictly transactional, sometimes casting parenthood as a job turns it zero-sum. Like if you read all the right books or follow the most cutting-edge advice, you’ll be the one to get recognized and rewarded as the parent who is better than all the others. It turns parenting into something you’re supposed to win at, which sucks the truth and the meaning and the connection out of it.
#Love#people#Friend
