Let there be destruction, let there be ashes, I won't survive for I have burned myself. Let there be hymns, let there be deaths, I won't kill for I have buried myself. (Read Caption) You people break me everytime, the lost me gets so lost in the perforated pages of my soul that now I have lost all my energy to dig my hands in myself to find who am I? I am so done with this escape and caught that I no more run. I m here, infront of you but I can't face you for I feel ashamed of myself everytime when I have done no crime. I gave up on you long ago before than your expectations reached to me. I know I am the reason which cause hindrance to your sleek lines and I enchains them in my sentences longing for freedom. My words strangle hard to come out for I feel like a criminal to be found later in the evening thought, when everyone comes back to home, like my thoughts. I think hard to sleep with them but in the innumerable hours of ghosting, I calm myself down the alley to walk, all awakened with my dead dreams. Somedays I feel scare, what if this art that kept me alive somehow will leave me and I won't be able to write about my insecurities like the 30 feet distance between the prisoner and the one who comes regularly to meet him. But the prisoner never intends to speak because he is so afraid to lose the moment. I keep myself all under blankets on summer nights too, so that no one finds about my fear of not sleeping but to keep the truth hidden, about the last night sobs and no one hearing it. What if certain things that were important to you at one time now just became a memoir to recall them, but you don't feel pain anymore as you remember it, is that means by any sense that you never felt attached to it in the first place or were they never important to you or is it how everything works? Like this broken prose, I end my dead poetry everytime into the agony longing to be human, where everything is so missed, that by the time it was the only thing left to remember and easy to forget. Thank you Priya, Asif and Ashish for the poke.
