Letters to Dr. J Have you ever regretted your flaws at 2:23 AM? And then appreciated yourself thinking about the "survival" you have achieved in spite of being flawed? I questioned myself many times, what is the definition of flaws, who are people to judge you, why do you care what others say. I had "let's not think about them" kinda answers at moments followed by, "I really need to work on myself". "I don't care what they say" is also one kind of escape- escape from the fact that- I can't accept that when a boy calls me fatty and taunts my minimal meals, I can't eat for two days, when a classmate laughs at the imagination of the stage if I dance on that, I quit two days before the function; I can't accept the fact that I still look at my thighs when I wear shorts and curse myself for being fat then... then, when I gave someone else chances to bodyshame me, then when I was not strong enough to break his narrowness with all the fire I had inside me, then when I could just cry and shout and cry a bit more until my eyes dry themselves... until I fell silent and continued with rotten apologies. I give excuses to myself that, I want to be thin not because of how I look now, but because I want to be "fit", because I want to fit in that dress I wish listed three months ago, because I want to fit into my wrong-sized Jeans that I ordered by mistake. FIT. Duh! Isn't mental fitness more important than physical one? Or at least of equal importance Dr. J? #letterstodrj
