And this, I fear The most... (Caption) ••• When I look back, I don't want my teenage to be a commercial, romantic Indian film. But I dread, this would happen; that I'd take a fancy to every guy I come across, that I would give room to a heap of heartbreaks, that my writings will bear nothing but fragments of my soul I left behind, that a pool of random names would cause tsunami inside me. I'm not in a dilemma. Certainly do I know what matters the most. But the fear! Fear of being caught in the tangles of lovey-dovey maze. The destruction that'll trail. All the odds! Goddamned illusions. I wonder, if I had been taken by that online friend of mine how would my present life look like -- Late night texts, accounts on all social medias, waiting all day long for him to come online -- Maybe, I'll even miss a few weekend outings with my girl buddies, for him. Stalking his profiles would be my constant job. I might fight with my sister to get me a mobile. I may even be hesitant to my best friend's call. Even dreaming of such things, drags every string of my heart, so as to tie it to the gates of hell. Let's put it this way. If I had fell for a guy who's in the proximity - maybe, my schoolmate -- I'd have 100 percentage attendance. I'd schlep a baggage of expectations everyday to school. My textbooks would be hiding his chocolate wrappers. The same lass who observed lectures meticulously, would be sighting a laddie's every move. His every shove. His every smile. Overlooking the corrupt notion, or the playful one. Scribbling 'our' names inside hearts at the back of notebooks. Maybe, long back those pages could've bore poems and proses.
