A LOOK AT LIFE-91 BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY I REPENT My father! Sometimes I feel You are not with me You are somewhere else Sometimes I feel You are not my father You are someone else Is it because You don not love me The way I love you? Is it because I ate the forbidden fruit Deviated from the path? Is it because I acted contrary to your will? Many a time I erred Many a time I did something Which my conscience never approved Many a time I repented Many a time I apologized But committed the same mistake again and again Many a time I cried Many a time I indulged in the same game Knowing well that I am committing a mistake My father! I have made a complete Mess of my independence Neither I deserve nor wish to be independent Don't make me independent again I do not know how to carry myself Get over my instincts and passions I don't need anything that takes me Miles away from my life and love My Lord! don't leave my hand I am in between the devil and deep sea You may not forgive me But don't go away from me If you go away How shall I live and why shall I live? Who else other than you can drag me out Of the spell of your maya. My father! I do not know What is my role in the cosmic drama of Yours Let your gift, my life on earth Be nothing but a garland of your wishes I know not For what I am here Let nothing but thy wish be reflected In my action and inaction, Thoughts, words and deeds I need nothing Have no desire to be a Udhab A Sanat Kumar or Sudama Just make me specks of dust at your feet Bless me to surrender The way Draupadi surrendered at your feet Love you the way Gopis loved you Throw me wherever you wish Heaven or hell does not matter It is thy wish I respect by all means I am not bothered where I am But never let my mind waver even for a minute Let it be always at your lotus feet Smrurti Ranjan Mohan ©Smruti Ranjan mohanty #Moon A LOOK AT LIFE-91 BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY I REPENT My father! Sometimes I feel You are not with me