December 14 I have never attempted to understand this. Why would I have ever done that? I was only 3 when she passed away. My sister. It wouldn't have affected me, a 3-year-old little girl. But when I do feel the need to accept and understand this loss, and grief, and some weird visual memories I still remember, I will write it out. Please bear with me while I expose what I had never intended to, because the visuals, the scenes I am going to recall, those are hazy and incomplete. (I will refer to Ma as M, Pa as P, and Nani as Nan, because I have always believed, and still do, that their loss is bigger than whatever I have experienced or concluded, or believed, but it will go easier on me to not remember that the way they felt snuck into my methods of feeling too.)
