Dad I think I don’t talk enough with you. I don’t spend enough time with you You have always been my hero . I am sorry I don’t always treat you the way hero should be. But work is in progress. He who miss treat his father is worthless and disgraceful son. I regret for not having the chance to know more about you Dad I want to apologize.so I have decided to write you a letter. Reading this you will get hurt lot Dad I want to say sorry to you. There is so much negativity, misunderstanding, grudge about you rattling inside my head. I have thought very bad about you ;no any son can thought about his father like I have. shame on me. I'm sorry I haven't been receptive or given you enough attention and affection In childhood usually felt that my father doesn’t love me, he don’t care for me. He don’t love our family.he only think of other people, their childs but never about us. I was very scared of you. That’s why I hated you..for me he was haanikarak baapu. I don’t wanted to sleep with you . at mid night if I found myself with sleeping with you. I would go to moms bed. Your presence used to take away my comfort therefore I always wanted you to go to office as early as possible. coz, then only I would be the king of my house. I never waited for his home coming (very few exceptions are market,diwali, vacation or Sunday).when he used to come from bazaar. I used to see bag in hidden way and if I would find any thing there, then I hesitated that it might be for others. Whatever was there was only and only for us I always scared to ask you for money. I never wanted to follow your most of the decisions, but I could not oppose them, coz I was scared. Whatever I needed I never told you , I told only to my mother or brother coz I most of the time I felt that you would deny. When i/ we use to fight/make noise then u used to say punha jr tumhi awaj kelya tr tighanle hi ghara baher kadhto. And I always felt that he will definitely throw out of house. Whenever you used to scold us we used to cry beside corner or going in kitchen near mother.mom has beaten us, scolded us,gave threats of cauterizing.Despite of all this I never feared toi my mother. I never hold grudge(long time) against my mother. For me she has always been kind, loving , caring everything for me. Safest place for me. I dontt remember that you have ever slapped or done any physical harm to us.then also I have feared of you. Why? I don’t know. When I used to see or I see now kids hugging their father or talking without hesitataion. Eg. Every day I see nil. He is very resembling to me. he is his mother’s pet, he is as clever as me, his teeths are also same, but one thing differs that he he fear to his father but he can talk with his his father frankly, he can hug his father etc etc. I regret about this. In your reel life people used to fear you coz with the brown eyes, high pitched voice, angry stare you was perfect villain. Similarly your personality was like a villain for me. I don’t knoe about my siblings feelings but I am sure they felt the same. Tumhi natak sodla nahi ghari gheun alat. Sometimes I feel that you have ruined my childhood. If you might have been normal, I would have been very happy. Then I convince to myself hat there is nothing like this. This are useless thoughts..but sometimes suddenly this thoughts arise.and I start blaming you. You have never cared for us. You just have cared only for others. If you would have focused on us We would have progressed in life. Dad you are engrossed that much in developing others family that you have forgotten your own. We would have been happy family. Now just family is left don’t know where happiness is. You are responsible for my contraction. You have never let us speak out. You have imposed your decisions rather than asking at least once for our opinions. . We are of family but we don’t know what’s in others mind. We have not open up. Everyone is bottling their feelings inside. Why mummy try to to ignore talks and face offs of her brother and sister. Sometimes even you cannot speak out what you want to. Why? We look united but we aren’t want to speak you about this but I cant. But its very harsh to trap you alone responsible for all these we everyone are responsible. You are not a villain you are a perfect hero. Dad you have done everthing for us. But in return what ihave given you. Breakdown of your hopes,disappointment.hatred.I have forgotten yours Nights of illness, stress, and worry don’t seem to mean a thing to you. We loved you and supported you. When you sent me to hostel thinking that I will be big officer in my future but this has let misunderstanding, negativity increased. का वागलात असे त्याच्याशी? त्याच्या पाशी होते नव्हते ते सारे तुमच्यावर उधळले त्याने, तरीही ? I'mm sorry that it took very long to realize it. You have spent sleepless nights and killing yourself while trying to give your kids a happy future. With a stern face, you have been awakening at night worrying if you are doing your “parenting" thing right. You have always made sure that are you creating a healthy environment for us to become the best. But I'm sorry that I wasn't able to see what you guys were really going through. Thank you for never giving up on our happiness, no matter what obstacles you have to gone through. At this point, I am a little closer to understanding a little bit of why you did what you did. The closer that I get to understanding, the more I am understanding that I had no idea how much you loved me and still love me. Now, it just hurts me even more thinking about how I couldn't understand you. #sorrydad
