the slight on your helper's faces, behind them, lurking the favors you never realized, you surrounded yourself with the nastiness of the world and bought into the belief that the toxicity was you. you hated yourself. That plea you saw, floating in your father's eyes when he showed you the way out home. for the first time, you couldn't convince your mother against him, she also turned a blind eye. dislocated, you walked the empty streets. beggar as they called you were a common sight now. pity, that you were tired of needing the help, of feeling alone and carrying the worthless mass. right then when you were about to be not able to let go, your eyes out of the light. you wished a thousand times to never wake up again, but the next you were found with shut eyes, with a sleep promising a better nightmare.
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