Please read it carefully, Sonaxi Satpathy! (CAPTION) M. Lisa Hey, wassup? Like you ask me if I am out of my fucking mind? Are you serious, Sonaxi Satpathy!? What makes you ask this? I know I do wrong, I have had done wrong, and I might do some wrong even in future. But how does it fucking matter? I can't explain myself anymore, I told you on my birthday night. Yeah, I am being fucking crazy, I admit. I don't care what people say or do or tell me to do around me. I don't fucking care now. I am angry like anything, on myself. For no reason. Like where does it matter, what I do, what I feel, what I fucking need? Yeah, I know I totally sound depressing and like gone out of mind, and I am sorry for that you have to read it all. But I neither am in depression nor I am gonna do anything to myself intentionally. I don't know man what's going on with me. I am totally fucked up. Like seriously I can't explain. I even don't overthink. I don't know answer to all my fucking crazy questions. And you told me that you've had faced sorta same phase, right? So tell me did you felt all these? If yes, then for this long? Like it feels like never - ending to me. I fucking hate my self. I am out of control, of everyone, of my own self, but I assure I won't die. I won't even get into a fucking injury or breakdown or something. I will definitely try not to. I don't know it's nearly a year and half when it all started, and I cried a lot, I cried to sleep, I still do, daily, but does it fucking matters!? Leave it. Thanks for reading till the last. Actually I want to say more, ladki tum na meri jaan ho, or tumhare or Kriti ke khilaaf jakar na sirf mera hi bura hota hain, main samjhti hu.... Main kabhi bhi aisa kuch nahi chahti jisse tumhe bura lage... Tum itne aasaani se bol di that if something happens to me it will leave an unaidable pain in you forever, but kabhi sochi ho ki how do I feel? I will much worse than that every single day.... Mujhe na khud se bohot chidh ho rahi hain pata hain, wo na khud se Aarya Gupta wala feel aa raha hain, jaise main use jhelti hu na kabhi kabhi, waise hi tum mujhe jhelti ho, or Kriti bhi...
