Best what does relationship status mean Shayari, Status, Quotes, Stories & Poem.
Surdas went to God’s temple, then people said - “How did you come?” Hesaid - “I came to see God” People said - “You do not have eyes, how will you beable to see God?” He said - “If I do not have eyes for beholding God, then doesThakurji (God) not have eyes? He said, but God will be able to see me! He willbecome pleased on seeing me, and my work will be done.”Now Brother! Sister! Pay attention. Just as I have no eyes, but God haseyes, with that He sees me. Similarly gentlemen! If you do not have awareness ofGod, then does God not have awareness about us? If in our knowledge God is notknown therefore I am Surdas, but are we not in God’s awareness? When we are inHis awareness, then now we have never to worry about anything at all. Just as achild is in his mother’s site, till then no one can do him any wrong and whatever isneeded for the child, the mother will arrange everything for him. Similarly, whenGod’s presence, we are never are distant from him, then our protection, provision,welfare etc. whatever is needed, that all he will do.God’s says in the Gita –Ananyaascintayanto maam ye janaah paryupaasate;tesaam nityaabhiyuktaanaam yogaksemam ahaamyaham.( Gita 9:22)"To those men, who worship Me alone, thinking of none but Me, who areever-devout, I make provisions to protect what they have and I also provide themwith all the necessities that are required." (Gita 9:22)"macchitah sarvadurgaani matprasaadaattrishyasi” (Gita 18/58);"By fixing your mind on Me, you will by My favor, conquest all difficulties, butif your ego does not let you listen to Me, then you will be lost"; and“matprasaadaadvaanoti shaasvatam padmavyayam” (Gita 18/56)That eternal ever-lasting post can also be attained by My grace,”The point is that in knowledge, the Lord’s grace is present, then He willprotect us from the inauspicious and will make us attain Him. However our mindmust remain fixed on God. Our trust and faith should all be on God. If our trustand faith is not on Him, His grace will shower on us. He is already making all theprovisions for us. Whatever is for our welfare, and eternal good, his is naturallydoing that for us.We see pleasure and pain in two different forms, that pleasure is separateand pain is separate. However in God’s abode, pleasure and pain are notseparate. Just as“laalane taadne maaturnaakaaroopnyam yathaarbhake |Tadvedeva maheshasya niyanturgunadoshyoh ||Mother does not have two different feelings while loving or scolding. Withonly one feeling, the mother loves and scolds. In other words, with a heart filledwith love, she loves the child, and seeing towards what is for his good, she alsoslaps him. Then does she do anything that is harmful to the child? Never ! In thesame way, when God does what is in accordance to our wishes and other timesnot, rather He slaps us, then in His doing, we must see that He is our mother! Maa!Whatever is favorable or unfavorable, whatever it be, in that is our welfare,whether we understand it or not.Does the child understand mother’s efforts? Does a child have any power tounderstand her endeavors? No ! A child has no such power to understand abouther struggles. The child has no need whatsoever to understand her labor. Hesimply lies in his Maa’s lap. Likewise, there is no need for us to understand whatGod does and how he does it. How is He, where does He live - we have no needto know all this. Does a child know where his mother was born? Whose daughteris she? Whose sister? Whose wife? Whose sister-in-law? Whose aunt? Wheredoes she live? How does she support herself? What does she do? Whatbusiness does she do and at what time,? Etc. The child knows nothing aboutthese things, and also the child has no need to know this. Similarly how is ourGod (Maa)? Who is she? Whether she is beautiful or not? Whether she is harshor compassionate? Whether she is good or bad? Whether she is helpful or harmful? etc. etc. what have we got to do with all of this? Simply that she is mymother. Whatever is good for us, she will do on her own. What do we know ofgood and bad? What understanding do we have about what is good and what isnot? Do we have that knowledge? Can we see that? Oh! What can Surdassee? What do we understand of what is good and what is not? What is proper andwhat is improper? There is no need to explain any of this talk at all. Simply, I amHis and He is mine. He alone is my mother, my father, my brother, my friend, myfamily member and He is everything. And He only is my wealth, my possessions,my glories, my land, my property etc. He is everything –tvameva mata cha pita tvamevatvameva bandhuscha sakha tvameva |tvameva vidyaa dravinam tvamevatvameva sarvam mama devadeva ||"You are my mother, father, brother, friend, knowledge .....You are myeverything."If someone asks you, who is your mother? God! Who is your father? God!Who is your brother? God! Who is your companion? God! Who does yourwork? God! Everything is only God. Everything is only Maa. Just as for a child,the mother is the clothes washer, mother is the hair dresser, mother is the midwife,mother is the one to breastfeed, mother is the Lord, mother is Guru (spiritualguide), mother is servant, mother is also a sweeper, etc. Mother is the one whodoes even the most menial tasks and even the most skilled tasks. Like that,everything is only God, then what are we worried about!Chinta deen-dayaalko mo man sada anand. It is joy and only joy in ourminds. Simply bliss ! Whether He is worried for us, not worried, what concern dowe have of this? Just as whether the mother is worried or not about her child,what concern does the child have about this! She is worried about him on her own;because the child is her very own. It is no obligation for her to care for her ownchild. Rather it is her duty. Whether she does or does not do, what has the childgot to do with it? Child has no concern whatsoever regarding this matter. God toois like our mother in the same way, that is it! He is our mother. We neither have todo anything, nor do we have to know anything, nor study anything; but only remain joyful at all times. We have to blissfully play. Lying in the mother’s lap,simply play, laugh and be happy. Why must we be happy? Because the mother ispleased, i.e. when we are happy, then the mother is pleased. For her pleasureonly we are sitting in her lap, playing, jumping, and doing all work. We have noconcern with anything else at all. We are only concerned about our one mother.Whatever a mother owns, it is all to provide for the child. A mother’sstrength, intellect, abilities, education, body, clothes, house, etc. all of it is forthe child only. Similarly, whatever capabilities, power, extra-ordinariness thatGod has, it is all for us only. If it is not for us, then who is it for? Therefore at notime should we worry about anything at all. Even if worries occasionally arise,then, say to God - “He Naath! See! worries have come” Just as when a child isthirsty, he says “Boo Boo” and the Maa feeds him some water. In no languagethe expression “Boo” means water, but the minute a child says “boo”, the mothergives him water to drink, similarly in whatever language we say anything at all, ourMaa (God) will understand it -Gungaa teri baatko aur na smajhe koi |Kai samajhai teri maavadi kai samajhai teri joiJust as a man who cannot speak, his language is understood by his motherand his wife. Who else will understand his language? However, whether Godunderstands our language or not, this too should be of no concern to us. We mustsimply continue to call out “Maa! Maa ! Surely a child does not use some specialmeans to call out to his mother. He simply continues to say, Maa! Maa! In thesame way, simply continue to call out “Maa! Maa! That is it! There is nothingmore that needs to be done. Maa appears dear, Maa’s name is pleasing.Therefore lovingly say - Maa! Maa!! Maa!!!We met a gentleman. He said that when I rotate the “mala” (Holy beads),then I make the sounds that are made while relishing tasty food. Now what is themethod of doing “bhajan”! We simply have to make the sound of relishing goodfood. With great joy, repeat the Lord’s Name, chant His name. Whatever you do,do so joyfully.“What will happen ? How will it happen ?” - we have nothing to do with all
of this. The mother is concerned about these things, and she worries about all
this. Just as Mother Yashoda and Mother Kaushalya worried about when will my
“Lala” (loving son) get married? But the “Lala” does not understand what marriage
is and what it is not? He is simply rejoicing and playing around in his own joyful
state. Similarly our Mother worries about what will happen to her child, how will it
happen? We have no concern about all this, and we have no need to even know.
Mother knows and her work knows! We have to remain in bliss and bliss alone
and remain in the mother’s lap! What a jubilant point this is. What a blissful thing!
“Tu jaane tera kaam jaane” You know and your work knows. Saying so, become
free of all worries, free of fear, free of remorse and free of all doubts. We have to
remain ever blissful and jubilant. At all times we have to be carefree and happy.
We have no work whatsoever, only rejoicing, remaining blissful! Our
responsibility is only one and that is, to remain joyful, to remain blissful at all times.
It is a good feeling to call the name of mother - Maa ! Maa ! Saying Maa! Maa !
is a dear and affectionate feeling, therefore we repeat His name. Ram ! Ram!
Appears sweet, therefore we say so. In this there is no rule or ordinance that we
must repeat so many times. What is there in that many times or the other? We
are saying Maa Maa, out of our own will. How are we to repeat the Lord’s Name?
How many times? How is “Bhajan” to be done? How much bhajan is to be done?
With all of this, what is our intent? The name of Maa is dear to us, therefore with
great joy, with pure delight and contentment (prasannataa se) we repeat the name.
We are simply in ecstacy. We are experiencing great joy. We are very much
pleased! We are most delighted and contented!
Mukh Raam Krishna Raam Krishna kijiye re |
Sita Ram ne bhajan laavo lijiye re ||
Nayaran ! Narayan !! Narayan !!!
Goal of Human Life?
Question: How are we to know that our aim is exclusively and only God (Self) Realization ? Since wealth is also worthy of being acquired, honour and status are also worth attaining, comforts and conveniences are also desirable, so many things are to be achieved, the question arises as to how to be sure that “God Realization” is the goal of our life?Swamiji: Is there anyone among you who wants such happiness that is not complete and perfect? Does anyone want happiness that is incomplete and transitory? Does anyone want a life that does not remain; that we live at times and other times we do not live? Does anyone here desire knowledge that is incomplete?We all desire happiness that never ends, a life that is eternal and knowledge that is perfect and complete in itself, knowledge that does not have the least bit of incompleteness in it, knowledge that is supreme and perfect. In fact, this longing within is the longing for the Supreme Truth of Life, God (Paramatma). Besides God, there is nothing which is eternal, perfect and absolute.We continue to suppress this desire to seek Truth by petty worldly desires and become happy and unhappy at times and intervals. Even a dog is pleased by happiness in small measures. A donkey too is pleased that way. That happiness should be achieved which is in no way incomplete, which is perfect in itself, that is not mixed with the least bit of sorrow or unhappiness. The world is incapable of offering happiness that has no deficiency or shortcoming. Thus worldly pleasures or happiness is not our goal. It is not our destiny. When we inquire on this deeply, we will realize that, that kind of happiness which is eternal, indivisible, without permitting any deficiency is only in one Supreme entity, the Lord-of-all ( Paramatma). In whatever measure the worldly things may be achieved, wealth, money, possessions, position, posts, name, fame, glories, kingdom, honour, respect, status etc., may fall to our lot, but that cannot give us contentment or full lasting satisfaction. On the contrary, let there be “more of it”, yes, still “more of it” such grows the greedy desire for them.We want to live, it means that we are dying or else why should there have been a longing to live? It is true that there is a desire to live. Having understood and known much in the world, there still lurks a desire to know ever more. Having obtained things in plenty, the desire to have more and more persists. Having done a lot in life, there is always a keenness to entertain the idea that though much has been done, yet this much has still to be accomplished. This sort of deficiency or incompleteness which is felt is knowing, gaining, doing etc., need to be recognized by man. It must be realized that this deficiency the world can never remove. This whole world may be achieved and yet this emptiness can never be filled, because the world is impermanent and ever changing. But think a little, what will happen once God is realized. In this regard, the Gita says - “yam labdhvaa chaaparam
laabham manyate naadhikam tatah.”
i.e. Having realised whom there is no gain higher than that.” Such is his experienced belief which none can shake. Having established himself in such a perfect state of God Realization, even the heaviest affliction born of stormy situations in life cannot in the least shake him from his solid rock like faith.
“yasminsthito na dukhena gurunaapi vichaalyate”
Even if he is sandwiched between the two conflicting mighty rocks and his body is crushed, then too even by that excruciating pain he is not dislodged or dissuaded from his unison with the Supreme Self. That pain has no access there. The pain cannot even touch that soulful state. Happiness is so much there that there can be no higher bliss than that. No sorrow can even cast its shadow on it. Tell, who wants such a blissful blessedness? People get contented even in small shares (alpa); that is a very big mistake.
The seekers do commit such a big error that while following the path, they get pleased or contented with elementary success midway. There is a Marawari saying; “adhe kutte kholana hi kheera hai.” i.e. for a blind dog even the “Kholana” (water from strained vegetables etc) is as good as rice cooked in milk (kheer). Similarly there are people that become highly pleased even with the acquisition of a little wealth, wisdom, honour, and fame in the world. What is truly achieved? The worldly achievements whatever it is, is indeed a deception. We need to realize the Supreme and the superior most truth! Even if we need wealth, it must be of the best and highest nature. Whatever we want, whether wisdom, riches, honour, status, praise, life, we want it to be of the noblest, purest and highest order. None can uproot this fundamental desire of man’s heart! And, nothing short of God Realization can satiate this deep-seated longing, because the supreme Tattva is no other than God Himself.
Arjuna says -
Na tvatsamo’styabhyadhikah kuto’nyo
lokatraye’ pyarpratimaprabhaava (gita 11/43)
i.e. Thou are of illimitable power and effect”; there is none like You; how can then anybody be more higher than what you are! Achievement of such a supreme thing should thus be the goal of our life.
That Tattva which was realized in ancient times by the earlier great ones, that sages and seers, saints and Sadhus, Sanakaadika and Devarshi Narada, Brahmaa, Shankara etc., - that very truth is realizable and can be realized even now in this Kaliyuga today. The worldly goods can not be obtained by one and all, but God can be realized by everybody. There is not a single man for whom God is inaccessible! Realization of that supreme truth, God alone, is the goal of human life.
My aim is God realization - only man is capable enough to realize this thing; not any other living being! Amongst living beings, cow is very holy animal, but we cannot make her understand this truth. Ponder a little, please, on the point. You come to Satsanga so early in the morning from very far distances and that too daily. Do you get any money here? Or any sensual enjoyments? Or any honour? Or any gains? Or any profits that you earn over here? If none of these then tell me what brings you here for satsanga so early in the pre-dawn hours?
Listener: We get peace and solace to our soul!
Swamiji: Peace perfect and full is what we need. If you get some or little amount of peace here and then you go away; and if your peace does not stay for long thereafter, then what is the use or value of such incomplete or transitory peace? We need the highest kind of peace which never comes to an end. But the mistake occurs when we get pleased with only petty peace of worldly nature!
One man was going to his village on a camel. He reached a mid-way village at the fall of night. There at one place a marriage ceremony was taking place. Drums and trumpets were being beaten and blown. That man was a Brahmin. Having reached the spot he came to know that “Bhoora” was about to be disbursed. “Bhoora” in Sanskrit is known as a special gift given to Brahmins on wedding occasions. That Brahmin fastened the camel outside the house and went inside to obtain the “Bhoora”. The thieves who happened to be there, saw the camel and they rode off with it. The Brahmin receive four annas for his “bhoora”, but when he came outside and saw the missing camel, he realized that his loss was significant – Rs 500, the cost of the camel.
The purport of the illustration is that in the petty achievements of transitory worldly things, some honour, some wealth, some pleasure, some status, some exotic foods – the camel of God Realization is forgotten and lost sight of. Such is the plight! The great Bliss is forsaken in favour of temporary glitter of worldly pettinesses, and small pleasures!
Eternal happiness is being lost in ephemeral happiness! People become happy in small doses of honours. One saint was told by some people that he was highly honoured and respected by them. The saint said : “What honour you can confer! Dust? All of you people can hardly pay any honour. We are honoured by God! What power have you to honour us? Truly, indeed, God alone decks His devotees, the saints, with the honour of immortality! How does a worldly person know what the real honour is?
The supreme gain which you crave for is in reality, the deep longing for God Realization. You may call, if you so desire, this longing “the urge to know”, “the urge to love” or “the urge to be happy for ever”. “the urge to see God face to face” “the urge for God Realization”. All mean one and the same thing. Only this is our goal. Be firm and fixed on this objective. Do not be pleased with the incomplete. If you do not get stuck up in the half incomplete, you will realize, the full.
This human body is the best of all the living forms. So, its ultimate goal should also be the best. There should be no higher goal than that ever thinkable. It is thus self-evident that God-Realization is the highest and the noblest goal of human life. Human life is meant only for this supreme purpose. Listener: Where is the guarantee, Holy Sir, that by giving up worldly pleasures, the highest truth of life will be attained? If we give up one and do not gain the other higher one, then shall we not remain empty altogether?
Swamiji: Arjuna also posed a similar question that if a seeker of yoga dies midway on the path of Yoga without realizing the Supreme, what plight would be of the poor one? Does he become “ubhaya-bhrasta” or fall from both the ends (Gita 6/37-38)? The world was renounced and God was not realized before he left his mortal coil – then will he only hang in between them? The Lord answered: “No Partha! He suffers no fall: neither in this world, nor in the next world; because O’ dear he who walks even little on the path of spiritual well-being never slips into any wretchedness or plight “durgati” (Gita 6/40).
If you happen to come across any traveller on the noble way of Welfare Supreme, you will yourself realize this truth. His gaiety, his bliss, his God intoxicatedness will have a peculiar halo, a specifically distinctive ring. The seekers of truth do register spiritual progress and they certainly enjoy extraordinary and ecstatic joy of life whereby they can never give up their search or Sadhana. That which is Supreme Bliss is obtainable by all, there is no doubt about it. Why is there no doubt? Because when we undertake spiritual practices, the peculiarities of divine life reveal themselves to us. Let you go in for soulfulness of divine discipline and then, the mysteries will be unfurled unto you too. There is an immense gain or joy in the association of the holy persons (satsang). We have not seen any other “upaaya” or means of realizing the highest goal of life. Countless are the means and people do follow one or the other of them, but the gain we obtain through Satsanga, we cannot acquire through any other means which we may adopt even for years.
From book "Be Good" by Swami Ramsukhdasji
नारायण ! नारायण ! नारायण !
To be happy in one’s own happiness and sad in one’s own sadness is beastliness, while to be happy in others’ happiness and sad in others’ sadness is humanity. Therefore, as long as, a man does not develop the nature of becoming happy in others’ happiness, and sad with others’ sadness, he does not deserve to be called a man. His appearance may be like a man, but in fact he is not a man. So long as a man is happy in his own happiness and sad with his own sorrows, it means that he has not developed humanity in him.
He who harms others for his own happiness and pleasure, does not deserve to be called a man. A man is he who having renounced his selfishness, does good to others or at least does not in the least cause any suffering to others. Therefore the lesson that needs to be learned is that let no one experience any pain or suffering, in the least bit through our actions. Besides trying to relieve the people of their sufferings, we should aim at their welfare, keeping in the forefront, how they can be benefited? May all beings be benefited!
“Remain engrossed in the welfare of all.” (Gita 5/25; 12/4).
We are only responsible for the welfare of others to the extent of our ability, power and resources. No one can make everyone happy. Even all the men in the world pulling all their resources together, cannot make a single man happy. The reason is that as a man’s desire for prosperity, pleasures, honor and praise etc., are fulfilled, the more they are strengthened. In the Manasa, it is mentioned,
“Jimi pratilaabh lobh adhikaayi,”
“The more a man gains, the more greedy he becomes.”
Even on acquiring an abundance of riches, the man can’t be satisfied. When the entire world together cannot make a single man happy, how can then one man relieve all people of the world of their suffering? However, all can adopt the feelings and sentiments, of wishing well for other’s welfare, i.e. “How can all be happy?”, whether he is a brother or a sister, young or old, rich or poor. No one is deprived of this right.
He who does good to others according to his power, God does good to him according to His power. If he applies all his power to do good to others, then God also applies all His power to do good to him. When God applies His powers, then how can he remain unhappy? No one can ever make him unhappy; and such a person attains God. The Lord declares -
“Te praapnuvanti maameva sarvabhootahite rataah.”
“Those who are engrossed in the welfare of all beings attain Me.” (Gita 12/4).
We should wish -
“Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah;
Sarve Santu Niraamayaah |
Sarve Bhadraani pashyantu,
Maa kaschid dukhabhaagbhavet ||
“May all be happy, May all be free from diseases, May all attain benediction and May no one suffer in the least.”
He who wishes everyone to be happy, healthy and totally free from all sufferings, deserves to be called a human being. As long as he is not saddened by the sufferings of others, till then he cannot be considered to be a man. Second point is that, he who empathizes and identifies with the suffering of others, does not grieve from his own grief. You all pay attention! Only he, who does not have compassion for the joys and sorrows of others, has to suffer. Only he who is a pleasure seeker, and hankers after riches, experiences the void of and lack of happiness. But he, who is happy with the happiness of others, never has a shortage of happiness. How? His desire for enjoyment and pleasures perishes.
The desire for pleasures and prosperity is the main obstacle to God Realization. Sense pleasures and hoarding, will not permit man to realize God. The reason is that when he hoards, he does this with his body, and when he enjoys pleasures, he does so with his body. So if a man is attached to the body, an effigy of bone and flesh, if he is a slave to these, how can he attain spiritual enlightenment? But he, who is happy in the happiness of others, ceases to have the desire for happiness or pleasure, while he who is moved and distressed in the sadness of others ceases to have the desire for hoarding.
On being moved with the sufferings of others, man thinks of relieving the sufferers of their sufferings. Just as we spend money to relieve ourselves of our pain, similarly, we will be willing to spend money to relieve others off their sufferings. We will not be able to hoard too much money! Even if it is accumulated, we shall not remain attached to it, by thinking that it belongs to others. It is therefore mentioned in the Bhagawat -
Yavad brhiyeta jatharam taavat svatvam hi dehinaam |
Adhikam yo’bhimanyeta sa steno dandamarhati || (7/14/8)
A man is authorized to possess only the bare necessities of life. It means that the food which satisfies your hunger, the water which quenches your thirst, the clothes and house which are necessary for the bare maintenance of your body, are yours. One who lays a claim to anything else besides these bare necessities of life is a thief and will be punished. You may say that you have not got these from somewhere else, these are your own. But how are they yours? Did you bring even a single thing with you when you were born? Will you carry even a single coin with you when you die? Therefore all the extra things with us belong to those who have a shortage of these. He who is sad with the sadness of others, never hankers after pleasure and prosperity. His heart is filled with compassion which provides him with such a relish or joy which cannot be provided by mundane pleasures.
If you amass riches, it means that within there is cruelty, lack of compassion. Where there is compassion, there is no amassing of possessions for one’s pleasure. Why? Because he is naturally joyful! The happiness that comes from hoarding is of the modes of passion and ignorance. The happiness which is derived by being happy in the happiness of others is not changed into pleasures and prosperity, but it is a kind of bliss! a very joyful feeling!
He whose nature and inner sentiments (bhaav) are to share in the sufferings of others, can never ever enjoy pleasures while others are suffering. A person with a noble heart can’t cook and relish delicious dishes, if his neighbor is starving. Under such circumstances, he can’t relish food at all. But those people who cause suffering to others, will they suffer on accord of other’s sufferings? Such people who cause suffering to others for their own happiness, dishonor others for their own honor, blame others for their own praise, dismiss others for their own position, don’t deserve to be called human beings. They are not human beings at all. They are animals! Animals that are so lowly, that they have neither horns, nor tails. They possess human body and beasty nature. Birds and beast are purified by reaping the fruit of their sinful actions. But vile persons, who cause sufferings to others, pave the way to hells by committing new sins. In the Ramcharitramanasa Lord Rama says to Vibhishana –
Baru bal baas narak kar taataa |
Dusht sang jani deyi bidhaataa || (Manas 5/46/4)
O’ dear friend, it is better to live in hell, but let providence not give us the company of vile persons (Manasa 5/45/4)
It is vile to be happy and sad with one’s own happiness and sadness. Our stay in hells will expiate our sins and purify us, while company of the vile will lead us to different kinds of hells.
Animals don’t incur sins by causing suffering to others because the ordinance of sins and virtues is applicable to human beings only. Birds and beasts cause suffering to others in order to satisfy their hunger, rather than for pleasure and prosperity. But a millionaire or a multi-millionaire that goes on hoarding wealth by causing suffering to others does not deserve to be called a human being. He is worse than an animal. This human life aims at purification. Those who cause suffering to others commit sins and they will have to reap horrible fruits.
The inner sense of those who don’t feel happy in the happiness of others and compassionate with sorrow of others is impure. Their impure inner sense paves the way to hell for them. The inner sense of animals is not so much impure because they don’t kill beings for pleasure. They satisfy their hunger with the kill. Men are free to perform new actions while animals have to reap the fruit of their past actions. Men prepare delicious dishes and relish them and thus they incur sin. True humanity consists in being happy with others’ happiness and sad with others sadness. So every human being should have the sentiment how can all beings be happy and how can they be relieved of their sufferings?
नारायण ! नारायण ! नारायण
From "Ease of God Realization" in Hindi and English by Swami Ramsukhdasji
The Type Of Person Who Must Never Date According To Your Zodiac Sign
After only a few meetings, it is next to impossible to figure out if the person you are dating is your ‘forever’ person or not. Most of the times, it is too late when you eventually find out that your decision of dating that person was wrong.
Here we are, trying to make your decision easy by listing down traits of a person who must never date.
• A person who shows great amount of interest in your right from the start.
• Someone who nods head in agreement to whatever you say.
• A person who cannot keep you interested while having a conversation.
• Someone who does not speak their mind out to you.
• A person who makes you feel emotionally insecure and trapped.
• Someone who compels you to question everything about your relationship.
• Someone who has a monotonous life.
• A person who would prefer sitting at home doing nothing for days instead of traveling and exploring the world.
• Someone who does not invite change into life.
• Someone who is too practical about everything.
• Someone who does not think emotionally.
• Someone who prefers to be alone most of the time.
• A person who is too lazy to meet up to your energy level.
• Someone who does not value time.
• Someone who does not mind if they are financially dependent on you.
• Someone who isn’t interested in talking about things as passionately as you do.
• Someone who doesn’t understand your level of thinking and does not even try.
• A person who does not really care about your dreams and passions.
• A person who is jealous of the social person that you are.
• Someone who is too clingy.
• Someone who pretends and acts just to show the world that you belong to them.
• A person who cannot handle the emotional side of you.
• Someone who leaves you alone when you need them the most.
• Someone who completely ignores all the things that are going wrong instead of making them right.
• A person who always points out negativity in everything.
• A person with low ambitions and less self respect.
• A person who gets jealous pretty easily.
• A person who is adamant about things that they need.
• Someone who doesn’t respect your choices and decisions.
• Someone who does not give you the amount of privacy you need.
• A person who pushes down your creativity.
• A person who does not encourage your thoughts and mindset.
• Someone who doesn’t appreciate the things you do for them.
• A person who does not respect the emotional side of you.
• Someone who labels you ‘sensitive’ the moment you try expressing yourself.
• Someone who cannot make you feel secure by being in a relationship.
How to Attain Victory Over Anger
Just as you learn to keep accounts, and when you learn the key elements of accounting then tracking becomes very easy. Similarly there is a main point, the key element, the root of every question, and if you learn this then the answer to that question will automatically come to you.The question that has come is that how to attain victory over anger? Then the question really is, where does anger come from? Gita says - “Anger comes from desire” - “kaamaatkrodhaayabhijaayate” (Gita 2/62). What is that anger? Human beings have understood that “desires are for money, wealth, grandeur, power, etc.” - These are also desires, but what is the main and real desire? “This should happen and this should not happen” - the name of this subtle want within is called “desire”.
First you hold on to the point that “this should certainly happen” and when that does not happen, then you become angry. And “This should not happen” and when someone does that or does something opposing to your wishes, then you get angry. This should happen and this should not happen, this is the root of all anger.
There is no gain in desiring that it should happen like this, or it should not happen like this; because will the world ask us before doing something? Will they do according to your liking? You want from your wife, son and servant that they should listen to you, then do they not wish the same of you? If they have nothing on their mind then they will do as you say, but in their minds too there is that thought that “ I will do it this way or not do it this way” then how will they listen only to you? When you too are not willing to listen to how they want things done, then what rights do you have that they should listen to your ways? Therefore when the feeling arises within that “This should happen like this and it should not happen like this” - then leave the insistence that the person should do it like that alone. In this insistence is your pride, in other words, I am greater, therefore he should listen to me. This pride of greatness is the main cause, and when things do not happen the way you want, then that pride itself comes in the form of anger.
If you desire peace then give up pride; because pride is the root of all the demoniac qualities. In the shadow of pride of greatness lies all the demoniac qualities of Kaliyug, All the bad qualities pertaining to demoniac qualities such as anger, greed, attachment, jealousy, passion, hypocrisy, deceit etc., they all come under the umbrella of pride, because pride is their king. If you do not give up pride then how will anger go away! Therefore give up that pride.
Now what is the solution for giving it up? Those who do not listen to you, they are helping you in getting rid of your pride, and those who listen and do as you say, they are swelling your pride - are you getting this point or not? The people who are obeying you are not benefiting you as much as, those who don’t do as you say. For you own good, the more that your pride is confronted the more better it is for you. Therefore you must be grateful to those who are not listening to you, because as such this is for our own well-being.
If they knowingly do not listen to you, saying that brother, we are not listening to you because it is for your own good, as your pride will go away, then to it is to your benefit only. They are not further swelling your pride i.e. your pride is not getting further bloated. Do you not wish for what is for your good or do you not? Do you want your spiritual progress or do you want your downfall? If you desire your spiritual growth, then it will be possible only when you are free of pride. And you will become free of pride when no one listens to you. If someone listens to you, then your words become established and this itself is cause for pride. This itself is demoniac tendency - “dambho darpobhimaanashrav krodhah” (Gita 16/4). Therefore those who do not listen to you, they are gracing you immensely. They are removing your demoniac tendencies and instilling divine tendencies in you.
Now the question that has come is that by not listening the child will become insolent and arrogant? By listening to you, you will become filled with pride, and if he does not listen then he will become insolent - now think deeply on these two points. If you are not there, then too by doing as he wants he will become insolent regardless, however how will your pride go away? Insolent he will be regardless of you, but your pride will not go away. Therefore you must get rid of your pride first and the foremost.
Second point is that if you do not dominate over him then your mild nature, that is free from pride will make an impression on him, by which his insolence will go away, rather he will become alright. You say to him that brother, you must not do this sort of work, and even thereafter if he does so, let go and become peaceful and silent. If he behaves insolently, he will get the consequences of his actions. On getting the fruits, he will become alert, and then his insolence will automatically go away. But by your persistent telling, his insolence will not go away as quickly as it would go away from suffering the consequences of his insolent behavior. The reason for this is that in his mind he will hold on to his own points, and what you say will stay superficially on the surface like silver plating. That plating will wear off, then how can his insolence go away entirely? The real solution to getting rid of his insolence is to get rid of your own pride.
If man wants to live in a family, then he must learn how to live in a family. The art of living in the family is that do as they say, do according what their wishes are. Fulfill your duty and make them happy.
What does it mean to live in a family? You have certain obligation to fulfill your duty. What is your duty? To fulfill your duties properly, whether the wife listens, does not listen, whether the son listens, does not listen, whether brother listens, does not listen, whether parents listen, do not listen. Do not ever look towards whether they do their duty or not. When you look towards their duty, and see towards their insolent or rebellious behavior etc., during such times you are deviating from your duty. Rather, you are falling from your duty. As such, where has it been said that your duty is to see towards other’s faults? No where in the scriptures it has been said that you see towards other’s faults; rather it has been said that this world is made up of the three constituents of nature (mode of passion “rajas”, ignorance “tamas” and goodness “sattva”, it is filled with faults.
Gun yah ubhaya na dekhiahin dekhia so abibek ||
(Manas 7/41)If others have good qualities you may see them, but do not see their bad qualities. If you see towards their bad qualities, those qualities will come in you. And on seeing those bad qualities if you are getting angry with them to rescue them from their willful acts, then you cannot be saved from that anger. Therefore you do your duty. We are not to see towards other’s duty, nor are we to see towards their flaws. Yes! If you have a son, then it is your duty to teach him good lessons, but wanting that he should do exactly as you say - that is not your duty. That is his duty. It is not your duty to show him what his duty is. Your duty is only to say that son, look it is not good to do like this. If he says - “no, no father, I will do it like this”; then say – “OK, do it that way!” This is a very good medicine. I too am taking this medicine. The medicine that has been given, is a very effective medicine. If you say – “Do like this” and if he says, “No ! I will do like that only.” Then
simply say – “OK! do it like that.”Rajjab ros na kijiye koyi kahe kyon hi |
Hasker utter dijiye haa babaji yu hi ||If what he is doing is sinful or unlawful, then do not accept it. We are to say that which is in accordance with the scriptures, however if they do not listen, then do the scriptures say to fight with them or to control them? You only have the rights to tell them what you know to be true, “karmanyavaadhikaaraste” (Gita 2/47) but thinking that they should do exactly as you say - that is the fruit, to which you have no rights. “Maa phaleshu kadaachan” (Gita 2/47). You have done your part, your duty was only to point out. It was not your duty to make then do as you say! To do as you say is their duty. We only have to explain their duty. If they fulfill their duty then there is no obstacle in your spiritual progress and if they do not fulfill their duty then too there is no loss. There is no loss for you at all, because you have said what is for their welfare. This is a priceless point !
Narayana! Narayana !! Narayana !!!
From "Jeevan Upyogi Pravachan " in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji
नारायण ! नारायण ! नारायण !
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