Each day the curtain lifts and I get to see another play, playing itself before my eyes and after each day the curtain drops, and the rhythm continues. Throughout my life I made many mistakes, all deliberate, all for self gain, sometimes they paid off, sometimes I failed miserably but the only thing I learned from my mistakes was humility. Guilt, however, is like a bag full of bricks, once you rid yourself of those you cannot be more free than a falling leaf dancing in its own tune. I, on the other hand, even though I had every chance, couldn't put it down, rather I carried them with me and still do. The turmoil it creates within only answers to humility, compassion and kindness, among which I only have one. Down comes the curtain, I look at myself and still see myself doing this for my own gain, again, adding more bricks in the bag. The cycle continues. Sometimes I wonder whether I'll ever be able to be free, to attain the tranquility I so much yearn ! Perhaps not, not in this life, neither in the next, afterall it's a cycle of never ending hatred. But such is the twisted fate that guides everything, Irony it is that we say we are one to choose our fate, but... I see the fate choosing us. Every night my last word ends with a sigh, an exhaustion or perhaps it's a sigh of relief that at least I can escape my fate for a little while. Perhaps both. Who knows ! I'm too tired myself to give it any thought. Over time I understood that Being gloomy is not a choice, being happy, however, is one. ©DIPENDU PALIT #Fatigue #Tired #Gloomy #delusion #guilt #humility