Actually, I was not always like this. Earlier I used to express myself, maybe way too much. I was so expressive that whenever I was explaining things or telling people how I felt; they thought I was complaining. They thought I was boring. They couldn't see that I get hurt with small little things because I never expected those things from them. They couldn't see that I get hurt because I care for them; because I loved them unconditionally. And that was a mistake I made every time. People love those people who talk to them occasionally. No Strings Attached you see. People used to ask me things like why I feel things so deeply? why I can't move on like they do? and so on. My love, my care was like a prison for them. Maybe I was a dumbass holding back things that don't matter and people who didn't care about me. For me, they were like my home. No matter how far I would go or how hurt I was, I would always return to my home. I would always come back with no complaints and always adjusted myself according to the situation. They never knew how I felt; rather they always complained that I think too much, I care too much and I was too possessive. Maybe I was like that, but that's only because I cared and feared losing them. They meant the world to me. I always feared hurting them and eventually I did hurt them-with my possessiveness. I never wanted this, but I changed and became cold-hearted, ruthless, and a person with no attachments. Now they complain about how stone-hearted I have become, but I don't care. I love this version of me- the careless, the reckless, and a beast with no strings attached. They wanted this and they got this. I still have that possessive, caring nature but I have hidden that side of me behind the words I bleed, vomit, and spit on the paper. I made them laugh when they felt low but they never appreciated/noticed. So, now I do the same things for the only person that matters to me and that is I myself. I enjoy my company. I have found that someone who understands me and whenever I need me, I am always there; standing in front of the mirror, taking some expert advice and learning how to not give a fuck about things and people that don't matter.🙂👍
.
.
.
.
.
#doesntmatter#introvert#dontgiveafuck#Emotional#lifelessons#Friendship
