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"VICTIM OF RAPE.. I don’t know how I managed to, I just knew that I was able to find my way home after fighting against his tight grip. I really can’t explain how devastated I am right now. My fiancé suddenly became a beast just because I didn’t permit him to have sex with me. It's not the first time I am experiencing this but the difference is, I got away this time. I thought ken was different. He is a Christian. He speaks in tongues. In fact, he is the youth pastor of his Church—so respected and admired. Why is all this happening to me, am I cursed? What ken did to me this evening brought back the memory of the incident that took place five years ago in my room when I was on campus. It was not really my fault because I wasn't aware of his plans in the first place. It was like the usual visit to my place after examination, before the end of the semester. I was happy to see him as usual. We were in a relationship, though he wasn't the Church type but he is a good guy and caring at that. My boyfriend came visiting and I made him comfortable in my abode by preparing his favourite meal and made him feel at home. The sun began to say farewell to daylight and the twinkle twinkle little stars took over the mantle from day and stood in the gap for itself. My roommate had gone for vigil as the semester was over. He had never slept in my place before, neither have I in his place even though he stays alone. I was surprised because it's past 8 and he wasn't making plans of leaving anytime soon. As if reading my mind, he said he won't be leaving as he planned to spend the night with me before going home and moreover, he knows my roommate had gone for vigil. I didn't want to argue. I adjusted the bedspread in the room and I made sure the door was properly locked, then we went to bed together. And in the middle of the night, I felt a movement on my body. I thought it was cockroach but I knew it wasn't somehow, then he spoke in the dark, "Baby I want to feel you a little, maybe it will help me sleep as I'm finding it difficult to sleep." When did I turn to lullaby? I said in my mind. Still struggling to open my mouth and say the word "NO, PLEASE" became a problem for me. While still contemplating how to turn him down without upsetting him, the pleasure I was getting wouldn't allow me. Many thoughts ran through my small mind and I finally said NO... NO... NO... DON'T. But my plea fell on deaf ears. I got up and turned on the light and behold the TONY I saw was not the guy I knew and loved. He was so strange and different. Before I knew what was going on my clothes and body were separated. Until today, I can't explain how that magic happened within seconds. "Please don't", was the song I sang till my roommate came back in the morning. I ended everything with him and I hated him from that day onward. Or is it when I visited my friend from the fellowship and how I was raped in his room, I wished I died that day. The looks on his friend's face and neighbors, I picked my shattered self and walked head down to my room. Or when I went to a remote village for service and the accommodation I was able to get because I was new to the area, how thieves visited that day and raped all the ladies there, of course I was not excluded. I sometimes asked myself how can one person, I mean one small lady, have 3 rape cases in her life time from different men—beasts I mean. I intentionally stayed away from men, anything men at all for four years. Ken changed everything. I mean, he was an angel sent to wipe my sorrow and pains away, at least so I thought. The testimony from his congregation about him gave me no doubt that he was the one. TONY blamed me for what he did to me, he blamed me for raping me, imagine that!! For years I was with the guilt that I caused the rape, but I realized it wasn't my fault in any way. Ken taught on rape on one of the days I went to church. Yes, I realized I had forgotten God and had to go back to Him. My life was empty, full of bitterness and pain. I needed to be free at least, I want to drop the heavy loads I was carrying daily. It was so obvious that something was missing in my life, something no man can give. I resumed going to Church and studying the word. I was invited to ken's Church and l liked the atmosphere and decided to stay, I decided to pitch my tent there. That was when the announcement of their youth programme was made, I gave it a thought to attend. After hearing the word from the mouth of an handsome preacher like Ken, I was broken and I rededicated my life to God. We became friends and finally got into a relationship. I finally thought THIS IS IT. I was happy, he was happy too and everything was just fine. I thought he was different because he talked about marriage, the very first guy to tell me he wants to get married to me. WHY? WHY?? WHY??? All men are after sex! I screamed at myself many times in the bathroom. Sleep had lost its place in me that day, so I decided to surf my phone. In the process, I saw a post on Facebook about rape by Louisa Ene Winnie and thought to read through. I then decided to tell my friend about my ordeals. I decided to share my story to let someone know how I have been feeling. Gift was my roommate from year one until we graduated. She was devoted and humble. I have always admired her—everything about her—but I felt since we were both Christians there is nothing special about her. Notwithstanding, deep down I knew she was a better Christian than I am and a true one at that. Fortunately for me, we attend the same Church but she is married with two kids and I try to avoid her most times in Church for no particular reason if you ask me or maybe am not being truthful to myself. I know she somehow knew about me and pastor Ken (as he is fondly called by members). I phoned her the next day and after exchanging pleasantries I told her I wanted to see her and it was very urgent. Gift is so caring that she agreed to see me that day and we fixed a venue for our meeting, of course my place. Immediately I saw my friend I couldn't hold back the tears, as I cried on her soft shoulders. After some minutes of silence she said pastor Ken told her what happened and he is asking for my forgiveness. I wasn't surprised because I once introduced him to Gift as my roommate and friend in school. But I didn't think he would tell her what he did to me, oh sorry, what he wanted to do to me. She told me the same guy who attempted to rape me reported to her that I no longer answer his calls nor respond to his messages. “He must have lost his mind. What is he thinking?" I said and immediately narrated my side of the story to Gift. She just smirked after my long narration. “Gift, what’s all this? I expected you to scream and thank God for me but you are smiling instead. Don’t tell me you are for him or is it because he is a pastor?" “Hey! Calm down” Gift said still smiling. "Do you know enough about this guy before going into a relationship with him?" She asked me. "Off course. I know his family members and a lot about his background. Besides the testimonies I heard about him gave me convictions that he is the one for me. He is a Pastor, he preaches so well and speaks in tongues." "Babe, that’s not what I mean. Forget his family and his positions now. What do you know about his values? The person he is?" “Eeeemmm….. he is a Christian, a Pastor.” "Forget all that for now!" Gift replied almost immediately. "I would be realistic with you, Cherish. I do not blame your ex boyfriends if not you. How could you be so insensitive that you are making the same mistake again?" "Gift tell me what you know, I want to be married like you and have a family." "Cherish, in choosing a partner, if your values are not known and considered then you are planting banana peels on your way because the relationship might never result in marriage and even if it does the marriage have high chances of being faulty. You know why? Value systems is key to building solid relationships." "This is why friendship should be the foundation of every boy and girl relationship. It is during the friendship stage that you get to discover his or her values like, his stand on purity, his goals, his priorities and many more and whether they align with yours or not. Then you get to know if he or she is someone you can go into a relationship with. Relationship is by choice just like friendship not by force or by pressure." “Gift, how do I know someone’s values? After all I am not a witch.” "You ask questions dear. You need to ask questions concerning what you want to know. You don’t keep mute and be assuming that since he says he is a Christian or a Pastor and he goes to church he is for sexual purity. It doesn’t work that way." "Pastors are humans too, though expectations are much of them but remember they are humans and thus not excluded from mistakes. They are men and women with blood flowing in their veins." "You could ask like this, what is your view about sexual abstinence until marriage? What are your priorities? I won't dispute the fact that every guy irrespective of who they are and what office they occupy wants just one thing in a relationship. Which is SEX, SEX and SEX! Yes. I can say that again and again. They want it now, soon or later after marriage. What depicts their values is when they want it. It is now your choice to choose the one you want among them. That is why questioning is very vital before accepting a relationship and during the relationship before marriage is finally considered. The habit of not asking questions has brought marriages to an end. Ask questions. It will save you from unnecessary heartbreaks, like this. Thank God you were able to escape. Another thing you should know, you shouldn't be visiting him alone especially in his house, except family house, and ensure people are around when you're together. If you must go alone make sure it is an open place like eateries or gardens, places where people are. Leave no room for temptation at all. In all I have said forgive him but mind you the decision is still yours to make, I won't tell you to go back to him or not, with all I have said make your conclusion. Of course, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Mind you, If your relationship with God is not solid, your relationship with the man will fail. Let no one tell you otherwise, Sex isn't part of a relationship personal terms and agreement. It is part of marriage covenant." I wanted telling her about the other two rape cases that happened to me but I think I know what to do now, heal properly with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgive my offenders including Ken and solidify my relationship with God. Enough of keeping to myself, it's time to grow and glow with God's children. I saw lots of impactful articles on Winnie Ene Louisa's timeline for singles, it's time to read them up and learn. Of course I'm not going back to ken but I must forgive him and move on. Thanks so much Gift, I wish I had spoken to you long time ago just maybe things wouldn't be like this, but I'm glad to know now. We are so many, Cherish, out there dying in silent pain. Some have been so consumed with self guilt that suicide was their only escape. Some blame their self for crimes that wasn't their fault that low self-esteem is now their name. Jesus is the solution to all situation. I'm Winnie making impact. I say NO to rape. I say NO to suicide. Yes to freedom in Christ. I help singles lead godly healthy relationship. I Write, Speak and Advocate. ©Winnie Ene Louisa"

VICTIM OF RAPE..

I don’t know how I managed to, I just knew that I was able to find my way home after fighting against his tight grip. I really can’t explain how devastated I am right now. My fiancé  suddenly became a beast just because I didn’t permit him to have sex with me.

It's not the first time I am experiencing this but the difference is, I got away this time. I thought ken was different. He is a Christian. He speaks in tongues. In fact, he is the youth pastor of his Church—so respected and admired.

Why is all this happening to me, am I cursed? 

What ken did to me this evening brought back the memory of the incident that took place five years ago in my room when I was on campus.

It was not really my fault because I wasn't aware of his plans in the first place. It was like the usual visit to my place after examination, before the end of the semester. I was happy to see him as usual. We were in a relationship, though he wasn't the Church type but he is a good guy and caring at that.

My boyfriend came visiting and I made him comfortable in my abode by preparing his favourite meal and made him feel at home.

The sun began to say farewell to daylight and the twinkle twinkle little stars took over the mantle from day and stood in the gap for itself.

My roommate had gone for vigil as the semester was over. He had never slept in my place before, neither have I in his place even though he stays alone. I was surprised because it's past 8 and he wasn't making plans of leaving anytime soon.

As if reading my mind, he said he won't be leaving as he planned to spend the night with me before going home and moreover, he knows my roommate had gone for vigil. I didn't want to argue.

I adjusted the bedspread in the room and I made sure the door was properly locked, then we went to bed together.

And in the middle of the night, I felt a movement on my body. I thought it was cockroach but I knew it wasn't somehow, then he spoke in the dark, "Baby I want to feel you a little, maybe it will help me sleep as I'm finding it difficult to sleep." When did I turn to lullaby? I said in my mind.

Still struggling to open my mouth and say the word "NO, PLEASE" became a problem for me. While still contemplating how to turn him down without upsetting him, the pleasure I was getting wouldn't allow me. Many thoughts ran through my small mind and I finally said NO... NO... NO... DON'T.

But my plea fell on deaf ears. I got up and turned on the light and behold the TONY I saw was not the guy I knew and loved. He was so strange and different. 

Before I knew what was going on my clothes and body were separated. Until today, I can't explain how that magic happened within seconds. "Please don't", was the song I sang till my roommate came back in the morning.

I ended everything with him and I hated him from that day onward.

Or is it when I visited my friend from the fellowship and how I was raped in his room, I wished I died that day. The looks on his friend's face and neighbors, I picked my shattered self and walked head down to my room.

Or when I went to a remote village for service and the accommodation I was able to get because I was new to the area, how thieves visited that day and raped all the ladies there, of course I was not excluded.

I sometimes asked myself how can one person, I mean one small lady, have 3 rape cases in her life time from different men—beasts I mean.

I intentionally stayed away from men, anything men at all for four years.

Ken changed everything. I mean, he was an angel sent to wipe my sorrow and pains away, at least so I thought.

The testimony from his congregation about him gave me no doubt that he was the one.

TONY blamed me for what he did to me, he blamed me for raping me, imagine that!! For years I was with the guilt that I caused the rape, but I realized it wasn't my fault in any way. 

Ken taught on rape on one of the days I went to church. Yes, I realized I had forgotten God and had to go back to Him. My life was empty, full of bitterness and pain. I needed to be free at least, I want to drop the heavy loads I was carrying daily. 

It was so obvious that something was missing in my life, something no man can give. I resumed going to Church and studying the word.

I was invited to ken's Church and l liked the atmosphere and decided to stay, I decided to pitch my tent there. That was when the announcement of their youth programme was made, I gave it a thought to attend.

After hearing the word from the mouth of an handsome preacher like Ken, I was broken and I rededicated my life to God.

We became friends and finally got into a relationship. I finally thought THIS IS IT. 

I was happy, he was happy too and everything was just fine. I thought he was different because he talked about marriage, the very first guy to tell me he wants to get married to me.

WHY?                 WHY??                 WHY???

All men are after sex! I screamed at myself many times in the bathroom.

Sleep had lost its place in me that day, so I decided to surf my phone.

In the process, I saw a post on Facebook about rape by Louisa Ene Winnie and thought to read through. I then decided to tell my friend about my ordeals. I decided to share my story to let someone know how I have been feeling.

Gift was my roommate from year one until we graduated. She was devoted and humble. I have always admired her—everything about her—but I felt since we were both Christians there is nothing special about her. Notwithstanding, deep down I knew she was a better Christian than I am and a true one at that.

Fortunately for me, we attend the same Church but she is married with two kids and I try to avoid her most times in Church for no particular reason if you ask me or maybe am not being truthful to myself.

I know she somehow knew about me and pastor Ken (as he is fondly called by members).

I phoned her the next day and after exchanging pleasantries I told her I wanted to see her and it was very urgent.

Gift is so caring that she agreed to see me that day and we fixed a venue for our meeting, of course my place.

Immediately I saw my friend I couldn't hold back the tears, as I cried on her soft shoulders.

After some minutes of silence she said pastor Ken told her what happened and he is asking for my forgiveness.

I wasn't surprised because I once introduced him to Gift as my roommate and friend in school. But I didn't think he would tell her what he did to me, oh sorry, what he wanted to do to me.

She told me the same guy who attempted to rape me reported to her that I no longer answer his calls nor respond to his messages. “He must have lost his mind. What is he thinking?" I said and immediately narrated my side of the story to Gift. She just smirked after my long narration. 

“Gift, what’s all this? I expected you to scream and thank God for me but you are smiling instead. Don’t tell me you are for him or is it because he is a pastor?"

“Hey! Calm down” Gift said still smiling. "Do you know enough about this guy before going into a relationship with him?" She asked me. "Off course. I know his family members and a lot about his background. Besides the testimonies I heard about him gave me convictions that he is the one for me. He is a Pastor, he preaches so well and speaks in tongues."

"Babe, that’s not what I mean. Forget his family and his positions now. What do you know about his values? The person he is?"

“Eeeemmm….. he is a Christian, a Pastor.” "Forget all that for now!" Gift replied almost immediately. "I would be realistic with you, Cherish. I do not blame your ex boyfriends if not you. How could you be so insensitive that you are making the same mistake again?" 

"Gift tell me what you know, I want to be married like you and have a family."

"Cherish, in choosing a partner, if your values are not known and considered then you are planting banana peels on your way because the relationship might never result in marriage and even if it does the marriage have high chances of being faulty. You know why? Value systems is key to building solid relationships."

"This is why friendship should be the foundation of every boy and girl relationship. It is during the friendship stage that you get to discover his or her values like, his stand on purity, his goals, his priorities and many more and whether they align with yours or not. Then you get to know if he or she is someone you can go into a relationship with. Relationship is by choice just like friendship not by force or by pressure."

“Gift, how do I know someone’s values? After all I am not a witch.” "You ask questions dear. You need to ask questions concerning what you want to know. You don’t keep mute and be assuming that since he says he is a Christian or a Pastor and he goes to church he is for sexual purity. It doesn’t work that way."

"Pastors are humans too, though expectations are much of them but remember they are humans and thus not excluded from mistakes. They are men and women with blood flowing in their veins."

"You could ask like this, what is your view about sexual abstinence until marriage? What are your priorities?

I won't dispute the fact that every guy irrespective of who they are and what office they occupy wants just one thing in a relationship. Which is SEX, SEX and SEX!  Yes. I can say that again and again. They want it now, soon or later after marriage. What depicts their values is when they want it. 

It is now your choice to choose the one you want among them. That is why questioning is very vital before accepting a relationship and during the relationship before marriage is finally considered.

The habit of not asking questions has brought marriages to an end. Ask questions. It will save you from unnecessary heartbreaks, like this. Thank God you were able to escape. 

Another thing you should know, you shouldn't be visiting him alone especially in his house, except family house, and ensure people are around when you're together. If you must go alone make sure it is an open place like eateries or gardens, places where people are. Leave no room for temptation at all.

In all I have said forgive him but mind you the decision is still yours to make, I won't tell you to go back to him or not, with all I have said make your conclusion. Of course, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Mind you, If your relationship with God is not solid, your relationship with the man will fail. 

Let no one tell you otherwise, Sex isn't part of a relationship personal terms and agreement. It is part of marriage covenant."

I wanted telling her about the other two rape cases that happened to me but I think I know what to do now, heal properly with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgive my offenders including Ken and solidify my relationship with God. 

Enough of keeping to myself, it's time to grow and glow with God's children. I saw lots of impactful articles on Winnie Ene Louisa's timeline for singles, it's time to read them up and learn.

Of course I'm not going back to ken but I must forgive him and move on.

Thanks so much Gift, I wish I had spoken to you long time ago just maybe things wouldn't be like this, but I'm glad to know now.

We are so many, Cherish, out there dying in silent pain. Some have been so consumed with self guilt that suicide was their only escape. 

Some blame their self for crimes that wasn't their fault that low self-esteem is now their name.

Jesus is the solution to all situation.

I'm Winnie making impact.

I say NO to rape.

I say NO to suicide.

Yes to freedom in  Christ.

I help singles lead godly healthy relationship.

I Write, Speak and Advocate.

©Winnie Ene Louisa

#Saynotorape
#saynotosexualabuse
#saynotosuicide

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VICTIM OF RAPE..

I don’t know how I managed to, I just knew that I was able to find my way home after fighting against his tight grip. I really can’t explain how devastated I am right now. My fiancé suddenly became a beast just because I didn’t permit him to have sex with me.

It's not the first time I am experiencing this but the difference is, I got away this time. I thought ken was different. He is a Christian. He speaks in tongues. In fact, he is the youth pastor of his Church—so respected and admired.

Why is all this happening to me, am I cursed?

What ken did to me this evening brought back the memory of the incident that took place five years ago in my room when I was on campus.

It was not really my fault because I wasn't aware of his plans in the first place. It was like the usual visit to my place after examination, before the end of the semester. I was happy to see him as usual. We were in a relationship, though he wasn't the Church type but he is a good guy and caring at that.

My boyfriend came visiting and I made him comfortable in my abode by preparing his favourite meal and made him feel at home.

The sun began to say farewell to daylight and the twinkle twinkle little stars took over the mantle from day and stood in the gap for itself.

My roommate had gone for vigil as the semester was over. He had never slept in my place before, neither have I in his place even though he stays alone. I was surprised because it's past 8 and he wasn't making plans of leaving anytime soon.

As if reading my mind, he said he won't be leaving as he planned to spend the night with me before going home and moreover, he knows my roommate had gone for vigil. I didn't want to argue.

I adjusted the bedspread in the room and I made sure the door was properly locked, then we went to bed together.

And in the middle of the night, I felt a movement on my body. I thought it was cockroach but I knew it wasn't somehow, then he spoke in the dark, "Baby I want to feel you a little, maybe it will help me sleep as I'm finding it difficult to sleep." When did I turn to lullaby? I said in my mind.

Still struggling to open my mouth and say the word "NO, PLEASE" became a problem for me. While still contemplating how to turn him down without upsetting him, the pleasure I was getting wouldn't allow me. Many thoughts ran through my small mind and I finally said NO... NO... NO... DON'T.

But my plea fell on deaf ears. I got up and turned on the light and behold the TONY I saw was not the guy I knew and loved. He was so strange and different.

Before I knew what was going on my clothes and body were separated. Until today, I can't explain how that magic happened within seconds. "Please don't", was the song I sang till my roommate came back in the morning.

I ended everything with him and I hated him from that day onward.

Or is it when I visited my friend from the fellowship and how I was raped in his room, I wished I died that day. The looks on his friend's face and neighbors, I picked my shattered self and walked head down to my room.

Or when I went to a remote village for service and the accommodation I was able to get because I was new to the area, how thieves visited that day and raped all the ladies there, of course I was not excluded.

I sometimes asked myself how can one person, I mean one small lady, have 3 rape cases in her life time from different men—beasts I mean.

I intentionally stayed away from men, anything men at all for four years.

Ken changed everything. I mean, he was an angel sent to wipe my sorrow and pains away, at least so I thought.

The testimony from his congregation about him gave me no doubt that he was the one.

TONY blamed me for what he did to me, he blamed me for raping me, imagine that!! For years I was with the guilt that I caused the rape, but I realized it wasn't my fault in any way.

Ken taught on rape on one of the days I went to church. Yes, I realized I had forgotten God and had to go back to Him. My life was empty, full of bitterness and pain. I needed to be free at least, I want to drop the heavy loads I was carrying daily.

It was so obvious that something was missing in my life, something no man can give. I resumed going to Church and studying the word.

I was invited to ken's Church and l liked the atmosphere and decided to stay, I decided to pitch my tent there. That was when the announcement of their youth programme was made, I gave it a thought to attend.

After hearing the word from the mouth of an handsome preacher like Ken, I was broken and I rededicated my life to God.

We became friends and finally got into a relationship. I finally thought THIS IS IT.

I was happy, he was happy too and everything was just fine. I thought he was different because he talked about marriage, the very first guy to tell me he wants to get married to me.

WHY? WHY?? WHY???

All men are after sex! I screamed at myself many times in the bathroom.

Sleep had lost its place in me that day, so I decided to surf my phone.

In the process, I saw a post on Facebook about rape by Louisa Ene Winnie and thought to read through. I then decided to tell my friend about my ordeals. I decided to share my story to let someone know how I have been feeling.

Gift was my roommate from year one until we graduated. She was devoted and humble. I have always admired her—everything about her—but I felt since we were both Christians there is nothing special about her. Notwithstanding, deep down I knew she was a better Christian than I am and a true one at that.

Fortunately for me, we attend the same Church but she is married with two kids and I try to avoid her most times in Church for no particular reason if you ask me or maybe am not being truthful to myself.

I know she somehow knew about me and pastor Ken (as he is fondly called by members).

I phoned her the next day and after exchanging pleasantries I told her I wanted to see her and it was very urgent.

Gift is so caring that she agreed to see me that day and we fixed a venue for our meeting, of course my place.

Immediately I saw my friend I couldn't hold back the tears, as I cried on her soft shoulders.

After some minutes of silence she said pastor Ken told her what happened and he is asking for my forgiveness.

I wasn't surprised because I once introduced him to Gift as my roommate and friend in school. But I didn't think he would tell her what he did to me, oh sorry, what he wanted to do to me.

She told me the same guy who attempted to rape me reported to her that I no longer answer his calls nor respond to his messages. “He must have lost his mind. What is he thinking?" I said and immediately narrated my side of the story to Gift. She just smirked after my long narration.

“Gift, what’s all this? I expected you to scream and thank God for me but you are smiling instead. Don’t tell me you are for him or is it because he is a pastor?"

“Hey! Calm down” Gift said still smiling. "Do you know enough about this guy before going into a relationship with him?" She asked me. "Off course. I know his family members and a lot about his background. Besides the testimonies I heard about him gave me convictions that he is the one for me. He is a Pastor, he preaches so well and speaks in tongues."

"Babe, that’s not what I mean. Forget his family and his positions now. What do you know about his values? The person he is?"

“Eeeemmm….. he is a Christian, a Pastor.” "Forget all that for now!" Gift replied almost immediately. "I would be realistic with you, Cherish. I do not blame your ex boyfriends if not you. How could you be so insensitive that you are making the same mistake again?"

"Gift tell me what you know, I want to be married like you and have a family."

"Cherish, in choosing a partner, if your values are not known and considered then you are planting banana peels on your way because the relationship might never result in marriage and even if it does the marriage have high chances of being faulty. You know why? Value systems is key to building solid relationships."

"This is why friendship should be the foundation of every boy and girl relationship. It is during the friendship stage that you get to discover his or her values like, his stand on purity, his goals, his priorities and many more and whether they align with yours or not. Then you get to know if he or she is someone you can go into a relationship with. Relationship is by choice just like friendship not by force or by pressure."

“Gift, how do I know someone’s values? After all I am not a witch.” "You ask questions dear. You need to ask questions concerning what you want to know. You don’t keep mute and be assuming that since he says he is a Christian or a Pastor and he goes to church he is for sexual purity. It doesn’t work that way."

"Pastors are humans too, though expectations are much of them but remember they are humans and thus not excluded from mistakes. They are men and women with blood flowing in their veins."

"You could ask like this, what is your view about sexual abstinence until marriage? What are your priorities?

I won't dispute the fact that every guy irrespective of who they are and what office they occupy wants just one thing in a relationship. Which is SEX, SEX and SEX! Yes. I can say that again and again. They want it now, soon or later after marriage. What depicts their values is when they want it.

It is now your choice to choose the one you want among them. That is why questioning is very vital before accepting a relationship and during the relationship before marriage is finally considered.

The habit of not asking questions has brought marriages to an end. Ask questions. It will save you from unnecessary heartbreaks, like this. Thank God you were able to escape.

Another thing you should know, you shouldn't be visiting him alone especially in his house, except family house, and ensure people are around when you're together. If you must go alone make sure it is an open place like eateries or gardens, places where people are. Leave no room for temptation at all.

In all I have said forgive him but mind you the decision is still yours to make, I won't tell you to go back to him or not, with all I have said make your conclusion. Of course, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Mind you, If your relationship with God is not solid, your relationship with the man will fail.

Let no one tell you otherwise, Sex isn't part of a relationship personal terms and agreement. It is part of marriage covenant."

I wanted telling her about the other two rape cases that happened to me but I think I know what to do now, heal properly with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgive my offenders including Ken and solidify my relationship with God.

Enough of keeping to myself, it's time to grow and glow with God's children. I saw lots of impactful articles on Winnie Ene Louisa's timeline for singles, it's time to read them up and learn.

Of course I'm not going back to ken but I must forgive him and move on.

Thanks so much Gift, I wish I had spoken to you long time ago just maybe things wouldn't be like this, but I'm glad to know now.

We are so many, Cherish, out there dying in silent pain. Some have been so consumed with self guilt that suicide was their only escape.

Some blame their self for crimes that wasn't their fault that low self-esteem is now their name.

Jesus is the solution to all situation.

I'm Winnie making impact.

I say NO to rape.

I say NO to suicide.

Yes to freedom in Christ.

I help singles lead godly healthy relationship.

I Write, Speak and Advocate.

©Winnie Ene Louisa

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The best thing you can learn from Inception of 'Alphabet' by Larry Page

This is something best I've read in long time, so just wants to keep this piece in my collection.
Written by: James Altucher
========================I visited Google a few weeks ago and, after almost getting arrested, my mind was blown.
First, Claudia wandered into the garage where they were actually making or fixing the driverless cars. When they finally realized she was wandering around, security had to escort her out.

We got scared and we thought we were going to get in trouble or thrown out.

Then we met with a friend high up at Google and learned some of the things Google was working on.

Nothing was related to search. Everything was related to curing cancer (a bracelet that can make all the cancer cells in your body move towards the bracelet), automating everything (cars just one of those things), Wi-Fi everywhere (Project Loon) and solving other “billion person problems”.

A problem wasn’t considered worthy unless it could solve a problem for a billion people.

So now Alphabet is aligning itself towards this strategy: a holding company that owns and invests in other companies that can solve billion person problems.

It’s not divided up by money. It’s divided up by mission.

I want to do this in my personal life also.

Just analyzing Larry Page’s quotes from the past ten years is a guidebook for “billion person success” and for personal success.

Here Are Some Of His Quotes:
"If you’re changing the world, you’re working on important things. You’re excited to get up in the morning."

To have well-being in life you need three things:
A) a feeling of competence or growth.
B) good emotional relationships.
C) freedom of choice.

Being able to wake up excited in the morning is an outcome of well-being.

Feeling like every day you are working on a billion-person problem will give you those three aspects of well-being.

At the very least, when I wake up I try to remember to ask: Who can I help today?

Because I’m a superhero and this is my secret identity.

"Especially in technology, we need revolutionary change, not incremental change."

Too often we get stuck in “good enough”. If you build a business that supports your family and maybe provides for retirement then that is “good enough”.If you write a book that sells 1000 copies then that is “good enough.”You ever wonder why planes have gotten slower since 1965? The Dreamliner 787 is actually slower than the 747. That’s ok. It’s good enough to get people across the world and save on fuel costs.It’s only the people who push past the “good enough syndrome” that we hear about: Elon Musk building a space ship. Larry Page indexing all knowledge. Elizabeth Holmes potentially diagnosing all diseases with a pin prick.

Isaac Asimov wrote classic science fiction like “The Foundation Series” but it wasn’t good enough for him. He ended up writing 500 more books, writing more books than anyone in history.

Larry Page keeps pushing so that every day he wakes up knowing he’s going to go past “good enough” that day.

What does your “good enough” day look like. What’s one thing that moves you past that?

"My job as a leader is to make sure everybody in the company has great opportunities, and that they feel they’re having a meaningful impact and are contributing to the good of society."

Whenever I’ve managed companies and have had the small opportunity to be a leader I’ve judged my success on only one thing:

Does the employee at night go home and call his or her parents and say, “guess what I did today!”

I’m not sure this always worked. But I do think Larry Page lifts all his employees to try to be better versions of themselves, to try to surpass him, to try and change the world.

If each employee can say, “who did I help today” and have an answer, then that is a good leader.

Empowering others, empowers you.

"Lots of companies don’t succeed over time. What do they fundamentally do wrong? They usually miss the future."

The stock market is near all time highs. And yet every company in the original Dow Jones market index (except for GE) has gone out of business.

Even US Steel, which built every building in the country for an entire century, has gone bankrupt.

Never let the practical get in the way of the possible.

It’s practical to focus on what you can do right now.

But give yourself time in your life to wonder what is possible and to make even the slightest moves in that direction.

We’re at maybe 1% of what is possible. Despite the faster change, we’re still moving slow relative to the opportunities we have. I think a lot of that is because of the negativity… Every story I read is Google vs someone else. That’s boring. We should be focusing on building the things that don’t exist.

Sometimes I want to give up on whatever I’m working on. I’m not working on major billion person problems.

And sometimes I think I write too much about the same thing. Every day I try to think, “What new thing can I write today” and I actually get depressed when I can’t think of something totally new.

But I am working on things that I think can help people. And if you are out side of people’s comfort zones, if you are breaking the normal rules of society, people will try to pull you down.

Larry Page didn’t want to be defined by Google for his entire life. He wants to be defined by what he hasn’t yet done. What he might even be afraid to do.

I wonder what my life would be like if I started doing all the things I was afraid to do. If I started defining my life by all the things I have yet to do.

"Many leaders of big organizations, I think, don’t believe that change is possible. But if you look at history, things do change, and if your business is static, you’re likely to have issues."

Guess which company had the original patent that ultimately Larry Page derived his own patent (that created google) from?

Go ahead. Think a second. Guess.

An employee of this company created the patent and tried to get them to use it to catalog information on the web.

They refused.

So Robin Li, an employee of The Wall Street Journal, quit the newspaper of capitalism (who owned his patent), moved to China (a communist country), and created Baidu.

And Larry Page modified the patent, filed his own, and created Google.

And the Wall Street Journal got swallowed up by Rupert Murdoch and is dying a slow death.

"I think as technologists we should have some safe places where we can try out new things and figure out the effect on society."

A friend of mine is writing a novel but is afraid to publish it. “Maybe it will be bad,” he told me.

Fortunately we live in a world where experimentation is easy. You can make a 30 page novel, publish it on Amazon for nothing, use an assumed name, and test to see if people like it.

Heck, I’ve done it. And it was fun.

Mac Lethal is a rapper who has gotten over 200 million views on his YouTube videos. Even Ellen had him on her show to demonstrate his skills.

I asked him, “do you get nervous if one of your videos gets less views than others?”

He told me valuable advice: “Nobody remembers your bad stuff. They only remember your good stuff.”

I live by that.

"If we were motivated by money, we would have sold the company a long time ago and ended up on a beach."

Larry Page and Sergey Brin wanted to be academics. When they first patented Google, they tried to sell to Yahoo for $1 million (ONE MILLION DOLLARS).

When Yahoo laughed them out the door, they tried to sell to Excite for $750,000.

Excite laughed them out the door. Now an ex-employee of Google is the CEO of Yahoo. And the founder of Excite works at Google. Google dominates.

Money is a side effect of trying to help others. Trying to solve problems. Trying to move beyond the “good enough”.

So many people ask: “how do I get traffic?” That’s the wrong question.

If you ask every day, “How did I help people today?” then you will have more traffic and money than you could have imagined.

"Invention is not enough. Tesla invented the electric power we use, but he struggled to get it out to people. You have to combine both things: invention and innovation focus, plus the company that can commercialize things and get them to people."

Everyone quotes the iconic story of Thomas Edison “failing” 10,000 times to get the electric lightbulb working.

I put failing in quotes because he was doing what any scientist does. He does many experiments until one works.

But what he did that was truly remarkable was convince New York City a few weeks later to light up their downtown using his lights.

The first time ever a city was lit up at night with electricity.

That’s innovation. That’s how the entire world got lit up.

"If you say you want to automate cars and save people’s lives, the skills you need for that aren’t taught in any particular discipline. I know – I was interested in working on automating cars when I was a Ph.D. student in 1995."

Too often we get labeled by our degree and our job titles. Larry Page and Elon Musk were computer science majors. Now they build cars and space ships.

David Chang was a competitive golfer as a kid, majored in religious studies in college, and then had random gopher jobs in his 20s.

The gopher jobs all happened to be in restaurants so he became familiar with how the business was run.

Then he started probably the most popular restaurant in NYC, momofoku. A dozen or so restaurants later, he is one of the most successful restauranteurs in history.

Peter Thiel worked as a lawyer in one of the top law firms in NY. When he quit in order to become an entrepreneur, he told me that many of his colleagues came up to him and said, “I can’t believe you are escaping”.

Escaping the labels and titles and hopes that everyone else has for us is one of the first steps in Choosing Ourselves for the success we are meant to have.

We define our lives from our imagination and the things we create with our hands.

"It really matters whether people are working on generating clean energy or improving transportation or making the Internet work better and all those things. And small groups of people can have a really huge impact."

What I love about this quote is that he combines big problems with small groups.

A small group of people created Google. Not Procter & Gamble. Or AT&T.

Even at Apple, when Steve Jobs wanted to create the Macintosh, he moved his small group to a separate building so they wouldn’t get bogged down in the big corporate bureaucracy that Apple was becoming.

Ultimately, they fired him for being too far from the corporate message.

Years later, when Apple was failing, they brought him back. What did he do? He cut most of the products and put people into small groups to solve big problems.

Before his death he revolutionized the movie industry, the computer industry, the music industry, TVs, and now even watches (watch sales have plummeted after the release of the Apple Watch).

All of this from a guy who finished one semester of studying calligraphy in college before dropping out.

Studying the history of Apple is like studying a microcosm of the history of how to create big ideas. Larry Page is recreating this with his new corporate structure.

We don’t have as many managers as we should, but we would rather have too few than too many.

The 20th century was the century of middle-class corporatism. It even became a “law” called “The Peter Principle” – everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

One of the problems society is having now is that the entire middle layer of management is being demoted, outsourced, replaced by technology, and fired.

This is not a bad or a good thing (although it’s scary). But it’s a return to the role of masters and apprentices without bureaucracy and paperwork in the middle.

It’s how things get done. When ideas go from the head into action with few barriers in the middle.

To be a successful employee, you have to align your interests with those of the company, come up with ideas that further help the customers, and have the mandate to act on those ideas, whether they work or not.

That’s why the employee who wrote much of the code inside the Google search engine, Craig Silverstein, is now a billionaire.

Where is he now? He’s an employee at online education company, The Khan Academy.

If you ask an economist what’s driven economic growth, it’s been major advances in things that mattered – the mechanization of farming, mass manufacturing, things like that. The problem is, our society is not organized around doing that.

Google is now making advances in driverless cars, delivery drones, and other methods of automation.

Everyone gets worried that this will cost jobs. But just look at history. Cars didn’t ruin the horse industry. Everyone simply adjusted.

TV didn’t replace books. Everything adjusted. The VCR didn’t shut down movies.

The Internet didn’t replace face to face communication (well, the jury is still out).

"What is the one sentence summary of how you change the world? Always work hard on something uncomfortably exciting!"

Not everyone wants to create a driverless car. Or clean energy. Or solve a billion person problem.

But I have a list of things that are uncomfortably exciting to me.

They are small, stupid things. Like I’d like to write a novel. Or perform standup comedy. Or maybe start another business based on my ideas for helping people.

Every day I wake up a tiny bit afraid. But I also try to push myself a little closer in those directions. I know then that’s how I learn and grow.

Sometimes I push forward. Sometimes I don’t. I want to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I do think there is an important artistic component in what we do. As a technology company I’ve tried to really stress that.

Nobody knows what the definition of Art is.

How about: something that doesn’t exist except in the imagination, that you then bring out into the real world that has some mix of entertainment, enlightenment, and betterment.

I don’t know. Something like that.

Certainly the iPad is a work of art. And the iPad has created works of art. And when I first saw a driverless car I thought, “that’s beautiful”.

I’m going to try and put my fingerprint on something today. And maybe it will be art.

The idea that everyone should slavishly work so they do something inefficiently so they keep their job – that just doesn’t make any sense to me. That can’t be the right answer.

We’ve been hypnotized into thinking that the “normal life” is a “working life”.

If you don’t “go to work” then you must be sick or on the tiny bit of vacation allotted to you each year.

What if everything you did you can inject a little bit of leisure, a little bit of fun into it.

I have fun writing, except when I think I have to meet a deadline (work). I have fun making a business that people actually use except when I think about money too much (work).

When you are at the crossroads and your heart loves one path and doesn’t love the other, forget about which path has the money and the work, take the path you love.

We want to build technology that everybody loves using, and that affects everyone. We want to create beautiful, intuitive services and technologies that are so incredibly useful that people use them twice a day. Like they use a toothbrush. There aren’t that many things people use twice a day.

What a great idea for a list of the day!

What are ten things that can be invented that people would use twice a day?

You need to invent things and you need to get them to people. You need to commercialize those inventions. Obviously, the best way we’ve come up with doing that is through companies.

I was speaking to Naveen Jain, who made his billions on an early search engine, InfoSpace.

He just started a company to mine rare earth minerals on the Moon.

But his real goal is extra-planetary colonization.

Somehow we got around to the question of why have a company in the middle of that. He has billions. He can just go straight for the colonization part.

He said, “Every idea has to be sustainable. Profitability is proof that an idea is sustainable.”

You may think using Google’s great, but I still think it’s terrible.

K. Anders Ericsson made famous the “10,000 hour rule” popularized later by Malcom Gladwell.

The rule is: if you practice WITH INTENT for 10,000 hours then you will be world-class.

He then wondered why typists would often reach a certain speed level and then never improve no matter how many hours.

After doing research, its because they forgot the “With intent” part. They were satisfied with “good enough”.

You have to constantly come up with new metrics to measure yourself, to compete against yourself, to better the last plateau you reached.

Google is great. But it can be better. Having this mindset always forces you to push beyond the comfort zone.

Once they changed the way typists viewed their skills (by recreating the feeling of “beginner’s mind”) the typists continued to get faster.

We have a mantra: don’t be evil, which is to do the best things we know how for our users, for our customers, for everyone. So I think if we were known for that, it would be a wonderful thing.

Many people argue whether or not Google has succeeded at this. That’s not the point.

The point is: Values before Money.

A business is a group of people with a goal to solve a problem. Values might be: we want to solve a problem, we want the customer to be happy, we want employees to feel like they have upward mobility, etc.

Once you lose your values, you’ll lost the money as well. This why family-run businesses often die by the third generation (“Shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations).

The values of the founder got diluted through his descendants until the company failed.

I think it is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. Since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. In fact, there are so few people this crazy that I feel like I know them all by first name.

Our parents have our best interests at heart and tell us how to be good adults.

Our schools have our best interests.

Our friends, colleagues, sometimes our bosses, sometimes government, think they have our best interests.

But it’s only when everyone thinks you are crazy that you know you are going to create something that surprises everyone and really makes your own unique handprint on the world.

And because you went out of the comfort zone, you’re only competing against the few other people as crazy as you are.

You know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night with a vivid dream? And you know that if you don’t have a pencil and pad by the bed, it will be completely gone by the next morning. Sometimes it’s important to wake up and stop dreaming. When a really great dream shows up, grab it.

For every article I’ve ever written, there’s at least ten more I left behind in the middle of the night thinking I would remember in the morning.

I have to beat myself in the head. I . Will. Not. Remember….Must. Write. Down.

It’s hard to wake up. And that’s the only thing worth remembering. It’s hard to wake up.

I have always believed that technology should do the hard work – discovery, organization, communication – so users can do what makes them happiest: living and loving, not messing with annoying computers! That means making our products work together seamlessly.

This is a deep question – who are you? If you have a mechanical hand, is that “you”?

Conversely, if you lose a hand, did you lose a part of you. Are you no longer a complete person? The complete you?

If an implant is put into your brain to access Google, does that effect who you view your self to be?

When books were invented, memory suffered. We no longer had to remember as much, because we can look things up.

Does that make our brains less human?

I bet memory has suffered with the rise of Google. Does this mean our consciousness has suffered?

When we created fire, we outsourced part of our digestion to this new invention. Did this make our stomachs less human?

With technology taking care of the basic tasks of our brain and body, it allows us to achieve things we couldn’t previously dream possible.

It allows us to learn and explore and to create past the current comfort zone. It allows us to find the happiness, freedom, and well-being we deserve.

Over time, our emerging high-usage products will likely generate significant new revenue streams for Google as well as for our partners, just as search does today.

This is it. This is why Larry Page has re-oriented Google into Alphabet.

Don’t waste your most productive energies solving a problem that now only has incremental improvements.

Re-focus the best energies on solving harder and harder problems.

Always keeping the value of “how can I help a billion people” will keep Google from becoming a Borders bookstore (which went out of business after outsourcing all of their sales to Amazon).

How does this apply to the personal?

Instead of being a cog in the machine for some corporation, come up with ways to automate greater abundance.

Always understand that coming up with multiple ways to help people is ultimately the way to create the biggest impact.

Impact then creates health, friendship, competence, abundance, and freedom.

But this is also why he created Alphabet and put Google underneath it.

To save the world. To save me.

--------------------------------

Original article appeared here:
http://inc42.com/buzz/20-things-ive-learned-from-l..

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"No one is going to fight for you.. Get Ready to fight for yourself! No one is going to struggle for you.. Get Ready to Struggle out your difficulties! No one is going to speak for you.. Get Ready to Speak up for Your Dignity! No one is going to choose for you.. Get Ready to Make Your own Choice! No one is going to Dream for You.. Get Ready to imagine your own dreams! No One is going to Achieve for You.. Get Ready to Achieve your own Success! No One is going to Win for You.. Get Ready to Win Your Own Battle! GET READY FOR YOURSELF GET READY TO SPARK GET READY TO SHINE GET READY TO BE YOU GET READY TO BE HAPPY"

No one is going to fight for you..
Get Ready to fight for yourself!
No one is going to struggle for you..
Get Ready to Struggle out your difficulties!
No one is going to speak for you..
Get Ready to Speak up for Your Dignity!
No one is going  to choose for you..
Get Ready to Make Your own Choice! 
No one is going to Dream for You..
Get Ready to imagine  your own dreams!
No One is going to Achieve for You..
Get Ready to Achieve your own Success!
No One is going to Win for You..
Get Ready to Win Your Own Battle!
GET READY FOR YOURSELF 
GET READY TO SPARK
GET READY TO SHINE
GET READY TO BE YOU 
GET READY TO BE HAPPY

Get Ready to Live #nojotoenglish#MorningThoughts#Motivation#Life

3 Love

The only technique to learn something new
By James Altucher



I had a friend who wanted to get better at painting. But she thought she had to be in Paris, with all the conditions right. She never made it to Paris. Now she sits in a cubicle under fluorescent lights, filling out paperwork all day.
Someone stole $90 million from a company I was involved in. I'm a poor judge of people. The company collapsed.
Some things I can't learn. I tend to like people too much.
So it's hard for me to be a good judge of people, no matter how much I try. So I find other people who are good at judging people and I ask them to help me.
Don't force yourself to learn something if you don't want to or it's not a natural talent.
What's the role of talent? Very small. But you have to start with it. Talent is the seed of skill.
How do you know if you are talented? If you loved it when you were ten years old. If you dream about it. If you like to read about it. Read the below and you'll know what you are talented at.
Trust me when I say: everyone is talented at many things.
 This story is from James Altucher's website. He let us it after we asked nicely.In the past 20 years I've wanted to learn how to do some things really well. Writing, programming, business skills (leadership, sales, negotiating, decision-making), comedy, games.
So I developed a ten step technique for learning.
1. LOVE IT.
If you can't start with "love" then everyone who does love will beat everyone who "likes" or "hates".
This is a rule of the universe. The first humans who crossed the arctic tundra from Siberia to Alaska in -60 degree temperatures had to love it. The rest stayed in the East Africa Savannah.
The very first day I wrote a "Hello, World" computer program I dreamed about computers. I woke up at 4am to get back to the "computer lab" and make even bigger programs.
When I first started to write every day, I would write all day. I couldn't stop. And all I wanted to talk about with people were different authors.
When I was 10 years old I wrote a gossip column about all my fellow 5th graders. I read every Judy Blume book. I read everything I could. I loved it.
Most of my friends got bored with me and soon I was very lonely. Except when I was writing.
2. READ IT.
Bobby Fischer wasn't that good at chess. He had talent but nobody thought much of him.
So around the age of 12-13 he disappeared for a year. He did this later in his 20s.
But at 13 when he came back on the scene he was suddenly the best chessplayer in the US, won the US championship, and became the youngest grandmaster in the world.
How did he do it? He barely played at all during his year of wandering.
Instead he did two things:
a) he studied every game played in the prior century. In the 1800s.
When he came back on the scene he was known for playing all of these antiquated openings but he had improvements in each one. Nobody can figure out how to defeat these improvements.
In fact, the final game of the World Championship many years later, in 1972 when he was playing Spassky, he brought out his 1800s arsenal to become World Champion.
Spassky desperately needed to win to keep the match going. Fischer needed to draw to win the title.
Spassky started with a very modern attacking opening ("The Sicilian") But then around 13 moves in, all of the commentators watching gasped.
Fischer had subtly changed the opening into an old-fashioned very drawish 1800s opening called "The Scotch Game." Spassky didn't have a chance after that.
b) He learned enough Russian to read the Russian chess magazines. At the time, the top 20 players in the world were all Russian. The Americans didn't really have a chance.
So Fischer would study the Russian games while all of the Americans were sitting around with openings and styles the Russians already knew how to defeat.
Consequently, when Fischer competed in the US championship in the early 60s it was the first complete shutout, all wins and not a single draw.
Studying the history, studying the best players, is the key to being the best player. Even if you started off with average talent.
3. TRY IT. BUT NOT TOO HARD.
If you want to be a writer, or a businessman, or a programmer, you have to write a lot, start a lot of businesses, and program a lot of programs.
Things go wrong. This is why quantity is more important than quality at first.
The learning curve that we all travel is not built by accomplishments. It's only built by quantity.
If you see something 1000 times, you'll see more than the person who sees the same thing only ten times.
Don't forget the important rule: the secret of happiness is not "being great" - the secret is "growth".
If you only "try" you'll get to your level that is natural for you. But growth will stop and you won't be happy.
4. GET A TEACHER (PLUS THE 10X RULE).
If I try to learn Spanish on my own, I get nowhere. But when I go out (and now marry) someone who is from Argentina, I learn more Spanish.
With chess, writing, programming, business, I always find someone better than me, and I set a time each week to ask them tons of questions, have them give me assignments, look over my mistakes and tell me where I am wrong.
For everything you love, find a teacher and that makes you learn 10x faster.
In fact, everything I put on this list, makes you learn 10x faster. So if you do everything on this list you will learn 10 to the 10th power faster than anyone else.
That's how you become great at something.
5. STUDY THE HISTORY. STUDY THE PRESENT.
If you want to learn how to be a GREAT programmer (not just good enough to program an app but good enough to be GREAT, study machine language.
Study 1s and 0s. Study the history of the computer, learn how to make an operating system, and Fortran, Cobol, Pascal, Lisp, C, C , all the way through the modern languages of Python, etc.
If you want to write better, read great books from the 1800s. Read Hemingway and Virginia Woolf and the Beats, and the works that have withstood the test of time.
They have withstood the test of time. versus millions of other books, for a reason. They are the best in the world.
Then study the current criticism of those books to see what you have missed. This is just as important as the initial reading.
If you want to study business, read biographies of Rockefeller, Carnegie, the first exchange in Amsterdam, the junk-bond boom, the 90s, the financial bust. Every Depression. All the businesses that flourished in every depression.
Read "Zero to One" by Peter Thiel. Watch "The Profit" on CNBC. Read about Steve Jobs. Read about the downfall of Kodak in "The End of Power".
Don't read self-help business books. They are nothing. You are about to enter a great field, the field of innovation that has created modern society. Don't read the average books that came out last year.
Step up your game and read about the people and inventions that changed the world into what it is today.
Read how Henry Ford had to start three car companies to get it right and why "three" was the important number for him.
Read about why Ray Kroc's technique for franchising created the world's largest restaurant chain. Read how the Coca-Cola makes absolutely nothing but is the largest drink company in the world.
Write down the things you learn from each reading.
6. DO EASY PROJECTS FIRST.
Tony Robbins told me about when he was scared to death on his first major teaching job.
He had to teach a bunch of Marines how to improve their sharpshooting. "I had never shot a gun in my life," he said.
He studied quite a bit from professionals but then he came up with a technique that resulted in the best scores of any sharpshooting class before then.
He brought the target closer.
He put it just five feet from them. They all shot bullseyes. Then he moved it back bit by bit until it was the standard distance.
They were still shooting bullseyes.
Richard Branson started a magazine before he started an airline. Bill Gates wrote BASIC before his team wrote Windows.
E.L. James (and yes, I'm including her) wrote Twilight fan fiction, before she wrote "50 Shades of Grey".
Ernest Hemingway never thought he could write a novel. So he wrote dozens of short stories.
Programmers write "Hello, World" programs before they make their search engines.
Many chess grandmasters recommend you study the endgame first in chess (when there are few pieces left on the board) before you study the other parts of the game.
This gets you confidence, it teaches subtleties, it gives you greater feelings of growth and improvement - all steps on the path to success.
7. STUDY WHAT YOU DID.
The other day I threw everything out. Everything. I threw out all my books (donated). I threw out all my clothes.
I threw out old computers. I threw out plates I never used. I threw out sheets I would never have guests for. I threw out furniture (four book cases) and my TV and old papers and everything.
I wanted to clean up. And I did.
I found a novel I wrote in 1991. 24 years ago. It was horrible.
For the first time in those 24 years, I re-read it. I studied what I did wrong (character unrelatable. Plot too obvious. Deus ex machina all over the place).
Someone told me a story about Amy Schumer, one of my favorite comedians. She videotapes all her performances.
Then she goes back to her room and studies the performance second by second. "I should have paused another quarter-second here," she might say.
She wants to be the best at comedy. She studies her every performance.
When I play chess, if I lose, I run the game into the computer. I look at every move, what the computer suggests as better, I think about what I was thinking when I made the bad move, and so on.
A business I was recently invested in fell apart. It was painful for me. But I had to look at it and see what was wrong. Where did I make a mistake. At every level I went back and wrote what happened and where I might have helped better and what I missed.
If you aren't obsessed with your mistakes then you don't love the field enough to get better.
You ask lousy questions: "Why am I no good?" Instead of good questions: "What did I do wrong and how can I improve?"
When you consistently ask good questions about your own work, you become better than the people who freeze themselves with lousy questions.
Example: I hate watching myself after a TV appearance. I have never done it. So I will never get better at that.
8. YOU ARE THE AVERAGE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
Look at every literary, art, and business scene. People seldom get better as individuals. They get better as groups.
The Beats: Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs and a dozen others.
The programmers: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Ted Leonsis, Paul Allen, Steve Wozniak and a dozen others all came out of the Homebrew Club
The art scene in the 50s: Jasper Johns, De Kooning, Pollack, etc all lived on the SAME STREET in downtown NYC.
YouTube, LinkedIn, Tesla, Palantir, and to some extent Facebook, and a dozen other companies came out of the so-called "PayPal mafia".
All of these people could've tinkered by themselves. But humans are tribal mammals. We need to work with groups to improve.
Find the best group, spend as much time with them, and as a "scene" you become THE scene.
You each challenge each other, compete with each other, love each other's work, become envious of each other, and ultimately take turns surpassing each other.
9. DO IT A LOT.
What you do every day matters much more than what you do once in awhile.
I had a friend who wanted to get better at painting. But she thought she had to be in Paris, with all the conditions right.
She never made it to Paris. Now she sits in a cubicle under fluorescent lights, filling out paperwork all day.
Write every day, network every day, play every day, live healthy every day.
Measure your life in the number of times you do things. When you die: are you 2 writing sessions old? Or are you 50,0000?
10. FIND YOUR EVIL PLAN.
Eventually the student passes the master.
The first hedge fund manager I worked for now hates me. I started my own fund and his fund went out of business. My evil plan was ultimately to be better than him.
But how?
After all of the above, you find your unique voice. And when you speak in that voice, the world hears something it has never heard before.
Your old teachers and friends might not want to hear that voice. But if you continue to be around people who love and respect you, then they will encourage that new voice.
There's that saying, "there are no new ideas." But there are.
There are all the ideas in the past combined with the new beautiful you. You're the butterfly.
Now it's your turn to teach, to mentor, to create, to innovate, to change the world. To make something nobody has ever seen before and perhaps will never see again.

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8 Share

"VICTIM OF RAPE.. I don’t know how I managed to, I just knew that I was able to find my way home after fighting against his tight grip. I really can’t explain how devastated I am right now. My fiancé suddenly became a beast just because I didn’t permit him to have sex with me. It's not the first time I am experiencing this but the difference is, I got away this time. I thought ken was different. He is a Christian. He speaks in tongues. In fact, he is the youth pastor of his Church—so respected and admired. Why is all this happening to me, am I cursed? What ken did to me this evening brought back the memory of the incident that took place five years ago in my room when I was on campus. It was not really my fault because I wasn't aware of his plans in the first place. It was like the usual visit to my place after examination, before the end of the semester. I was happy to see him as usual. We were in a relationship, though he wasn't the Church type but he is a good guy and caring at that. My boyfriend came visiting and I made him comfortable in my abode by preparing his favourite meal and made him feel at home. The sun began to say farewell to daylight and the twinkle twinkle little stars took over the mantle from day and stood in the gap for itself. My roommate had gone for vigil as the semester was over. He had never slept in my place before, neither have I in his place even though he stays alone. I was surprised because it's past 8 and he wasn't making plans of leaving anytime soon. As if reading my mind, he said he won't be leaving as he planned to spend the night with me before going home and moreover, he knows my roommate had gone for vigil. I didn't want to argue. I adjusted the bedspread in the room and I made sure the door was properly locked, then we went to bed together. And in the middle of the night, I felt a movement on my body. I thought it was cockroach but I knew it wasn't somehow, then he spoke in the dark, "Baby I want to feel you a little, maybe it will help me sleep as I'm finding it difficult to sleep." When did I turn to lullaby? I said in my mind. Still struggling to open my mouth and say the word "NO, PLEASE" became a problem for me. While still contemplating how to turn him down without upsetting him, the pleasure I was getting wouldn't allow me. Many thoughts ran through my small mind and I finally said NO... NO... NO... DON'T. But my plea fell on deaf ears. I got up and turned on the light and behold the TONY I saw was not the guy I knew and loved. He was so strange and different. Before I knew what was going on my clothes and body were separated. Until today, I can't explain how that magic happened within seconds. "Please don't", was the song I sang till my roommate came back in the morning. I ended everything with him and I hated him from that day onward. Or is it when I visited my friend from the fellowship and how I was raped in his room, I wished I died that day. The looks on his friend's face and neighbors, I picked my shattered self and walked head down to my room. Or when I went to a remote village for service and the accommodation I was able to get because I was new to the area, how thieves visited that day and raped all the ladies there, of course I was not excluded. I sometimes asked myself how can one person, I mean one small lady, have 3 rape cases in her life time from different men—beasts I mean. I intentionally stayed away from men, anything men at all for four years. Ken changed everything. I mean, he was an angel sent to wipe my sorrow and pains away, at least so I thought. The testimony from his congregation about him gave me no doubt that he was the one. TONY blamed me for what he did to me, he blamed me for raping me, imagine that!! For years I was with the guilt that I caused the rape, but I realized it wasn't my fault in any way. Ken taught on rape on one of the days I went to church. Yes, I realized I had forgotten God and had to go back to Him. My life was empty, full of bitterness and pain. I needed to be free at least, I want to drop the heavy loads I was carrying daily. It was so obvious that something was missing in my life, something no man can give. I resumed going to Church and studying the word. I was invited to ken's Church and l liked the atmosphere and decided to stay, I decided to pitch my tent there. That was when the announcement of their youth programme was made, I gave it a thought to attend. After hearing the word from the mouth of an handsome preacher like Ken, I was broken and I rededicated my life to God. We became friends and finally got into a relationship. I finally thought THIS IS IT. I was happy, he was happy too and everything was just fine. I thought he was different because he talked about marriage, the very first guy to tell me he wants to get married to me. WHY? WHY?? WHY??? All men are after sex! I screamed at myself many times in the bathroom. Sleep had lost its place in me that day, so I decided to surf my phone. In the process, I saw a post on Facebook about rape by Louisa Ene Winnie and thought to read through. I then decided to tell my friend about my ordeals. I decided to share my story to let someone know how I have been feeling. Gift was my roommate from year one until we graduated. She was devoted and humble. I have always admired her—everything about her—but I felt since we were both Christians there is nothing special about her. Notwithstanding, deep down I knew she was a better Christian than I am and a true one at that. Fortunately for me, we attend the same Church but she is married with two kids and I try to avoid her most times in Church for no particular reason if you ask me or maybe am not being truthful to myself. I know she somehow knew about me and pastor Ken (as he is fondly called by members). I phoned her the next day and after exchanging pleasantries I told her I wanted to see her and it was very urgent. Gift is so caring that she agreed to see me that day and we fixed a venue for our meeting, of course my place. Immediately I saw my friend I couldn't hold back the tears, as I cried on her soft shoulders. After some minutes of silence she said pastor Ken told her what happened and he is asking for my forgiveness. I wasn't surprised because I once introduced him to Gift as my roommate and friend in school. But I didn't think he would tell her what he did to me, oh sorry, what he wanted to do to me. She told me the same guy who attempted to rape me reported to her that I no longer answer his calls nor respond to his messages. “He must have lost his mind. What is he thinking?" I said and immediately narrated my side of the story to Gift. She just smirked after my long narration. “Gift, what’s all this? I expected you to scream and thank God for me but you are smiling instead. Don’t tell me you are for him or is it because he is a pastor?" “Hey! Calm down” Gift said still smiling. "Do you know enough about this guy before going into a relationship with him?" She asked me. "Off course. I know his family members and a lot about his background. Besides the testimonies I heard about him gave me convictions that he is the one for me. He is a Pastor, he preaches so well and speaks in tongues." "Babe, that’s not what I mean. Forget his family and his positions now. What do you know about his values? The person he is?" “Eeeemmm….. he is a Christian, a Pastor.” "Forget all that for now!" Gift replied almost immediately. "I would be realistic with you, Cherish. I do not blame your ex boyfriends if not you. How could you be so insensitive that you are making the same mistake again?" "Gift tell me what you know, I want to be married like you and have a family." "Cherish, in choosing a partner, if your values are not known and considered then you are planting banana peels on your way because the relationship might never result in marriage and even if it does the marriage have high chances of being faulty. You know why? Value systems is key to building solid relationships." "This is why friendship should be the foundation of every boy and girl relationship. It is during the friendship stage that you get to discover his or her values like, his stand on purity, his goals, his priorities and many more and whether they align with yours or not. Then you get to know if he or she is someone you can go into a relationship with. Relationship is by choice just like friendship not by force or by pressure." “Gift, how do I know someone’s values? After all I am not a witch.” "You ask questions dear. You need to ask questions concerning what you want to know. You don’t keep mute and be assuming that since he says he is a Christian or a Pastor and he goes to church he is for sexual purity. It doesn’t work that way." "Pastors are humans too, though expectations are much of them but remember they are humans and thus not excluded from mistakes. They are men and women with blood flowing in their veins." "You could ask like this, what is your view about sexual abstinence until marriage? What are your priorities? I won't dispute the fact that every guy irrespective of who they are and what office they occupy wants just one thing in a relationship. Which is SEX, SEX and SEX! Yes. I can say that again and again. They want it now, soon or later after marriage. What depicts their values is when they want it. It is now your choice to choose the one you want among them. That is why questioning is very vital before accepting a relationship and during the relationship before marriage is finally considered. The habit of not asking questions has brought marriages to an end. Ask questions. It will save you from unnecessary heartbreaks, like this. Thank God you were able to escape. Another thing you should know, you shouldn't be visiting him alone especially in his house, except family house, and ensure people are around when you're together. If you must go alone make sure it is an open place like eateries or gardens, places where people are. Leave no room for temptation at all. In all I have said forgive him but mind you the decision is still yours to make, I won't tell you to go back to him or not, with all I have said make your conclusion. Of course, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Mind you, If your relationship with God is not solid, your relationship with the man will fail. Let no one tell you otherwise, Sex isn't part of a relationship personal terms and agreement. It is part of marriage covenant." I wanted telling her about the other two rape cases that happened to me but I think I know what to do now, heal properly with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgive my offenders including Ken and solidify my relationship with God. Enough of keeping to myself, it's time to grow and glow with God's children. I saw lots of impactful articles on Winnie Ene Louisa's timeline for singles, it's time to read them up and learn. Of course I'm not going back to ken but I must forgive him and move on. Thanks so much Gift, I wish I had spoken to you long time ago just maybe things wouldn't be like this, but I'm glad to know now. We are so many, Cherish, out there dying in silent pain. Some have been so consumed with self guilt that suicide was their only escape. Some blame their self for crimes that wasn't their fault that low self-esteem is now their name. Jesus is the solution to all situation. I'm Winnie making impact. I say NO to rape. I say NO to suicide. Yes to freedom in Christ. I help singles lead godly healthy relationship. I Write, Speak and Advocate. ©Winnie Ene Louisa"

VICTIM OF RAPE..

I don’t know how I managed to, I just knew that I was able to find my way home after fighting against his tight grip. I really can’t explain how devastated I am right now. My fiancé  suddenly became a beast just because I didn’t permit him to have sex with me.

It's not the first time I am experiencing this but the difference is, I got away this time. I thought ken was different. He is a Christian. He speaks in tongues. In fact, he is the youth pastor of his Church—so respected and admired.

Why is all this happening to me, am I cursed? 

What ken did to me this evening brought back the memory of the incident that took place five years ago in my room when I was on campus.

It was not really my fault because I wasn't aware of his plans in the first place. It was like the usual visit to my place after examination, before the end of the semester. I was happy to see him as usual. We were in a relationship, though he wasn't the Church type but he is a good guy and caring at that.

My boyfriend came visiting and I made him comfortable in my abode by preparing his favourite meal and made him feel at home.

The sun began to say farewell to daylight and the twinkle twinkle little stars took over the mantle from day and stood in the gap for itself.

My roommate had gone for vigil as the semester was over. He had never slept in my place before, neither have I in his place even though he stays alone. I was surprised because it's past 8 and he wasn't making plans of leaving anytime soon.

As if reading my mind, he said he won't be leaving as he planned to spend the night with me before going home and moreover, he knows my roommate had gone for vigil. I didn't want to argue.

I adjusted the bedspread in the room and I made sure the door was properly locked, then we went to bed together.

And in the middle of the night, I felt a movement on my body. I thought it was cockroach but I knew it wasn't somehow, then he spoke in the dark, "Baby I want to feel you a little, maybe it will help me sleep as I'm finding it difficult to sleep." When did I turn to lullaby? I said in my mind.

Still struggling to open my mouth and say the word "NO, PLEASE" became a problem for me. While still contemplating how to turn him down without upsetting him, the pleasure I was getting wouldn't allow me. Many thoughts ran through my small mind and I finally said NO... NO... NO... DON'T.

But my plea fell on deaf ears. I got up and turned on the light and behold the TONY I saw was not the guy I knew and loved. He was so strange and different. 

Before I knew what was going on my clothes and body were separated. Until today, I can't explain how that magic happened within seconds. "Please don't", was the song I sang till my roommate came back in the morning.

I ended everything with him and I hated him from that day onward.

Or is it when I visited my friend from the fellowship and how I was raped in his room, I wished I died that day. The looks on his friend's face and neighbors, I picked my shattered self and walked head down to my room.

Or when I went to a remote village for service and the accommodation I was able to get because I was new to the area, how thieves visited that day and raped all the ladies there, of course I was not excluded.

I sometimes asked myself how can one person, I mean one small lady, have 3 rape cases in her life time from different men—beasts I mean.

I intentionally stayed away from men, anything men at all for four years.

Ken changed everything. I mean, he was an angel sent to wipe my sorrow and pains away, at least so I thought.

The testimony from his congregation about him gave me no doubt that he was the one.

TONY blamed me for what he did to me, he blamed me for raping me, imagine that!! For years I was with the guilt that I caused the rape, but I realized it wasn't my fault in any way. 

Ken taught on rape on one of the days I went to church. Yes, I realized I had forgotten God and had to go back to Him. My life was empty, full of bitterness and pain. I needed to be free at least, I want to drop the heavy loads I was carrying daily. 

It was so obvious that something was missing in my life, something no man can give. I resumed going to Church and studying the word.

I was invited to ken's Church and l liked the atmosphere and decided to stay, I decided to pitch my tent there. That was when the announcement of their youth programme was made, I gave it a thought to attend.

After hearing the word from the mouth of an handsome preacher like Ken, I was broken and I rededicated my life to God.

We became friends and finally got into a relationship. I finally thought THIS IS IT. 

I was happy, he was happy too and everything was just fine. I thought he was different because he talked about marriage, the very first guy to tell me he wants to get married to me.

WHY?                 WHY??                 WHY???

All men are after sex! I screamed at myself many times in the bathroom.

Sleep had lost its place in me that day, so I decided to surf my phone.

In the process, I saw a post on Facebook about rape by Louisa Ene Winnie and thought to read through. I then decided to tell my friend about my ordeals. I decided to share my story to let someone know how I have been feeling.

Gift was my roommate from year one until we graduated. She was devoted and humble. I have always admired her—everything about her—but I felt since we were both Christians there is nothing special about her. Notwithstanding, deep down I knew she was a better Christian than I am and a true one at that.

Fortunately for me, we attend the same Church but she is married with two kids and I try to avoid her most times in Church for no particular reason if you ask me or maybe am not being truthful to myself.

I know she somehow knew about me and pastor Ken (as he is fondly called by members).

I phoned her the next day and after exchanging pleasantries I told her I wanted to see her and it was very urgent.

Gift is so caring that she agreed to see me that day and we fixed a venue for our meeting, of course my place.

Immediately I saw my friend I couldn't hold back the tears, as I cried on her soft shoulders.

After some minutes of silence she said pastor Ken told her what happened and he is asking for my forgiveness.

I wasn't surprised because I once introduced him to Gift as my roommate and friend in school. But I didn't think he would tell her what he did to me, oh sorry, what he wanted to do to me.

She told me the same guy who attempted to rape me reported to her that I no longer answer his calls nor respond to his messages. “He must have lost his mind. What is he thinking?" I said and immediately narrated my side of the story to Gift. She just smirked after my long narration. 

“Gift, what’s all this? I expected you to scream and thank God for me but you are smiling instead. Don’t tell me you are for him or is it because he is a pastor?"

“Hey! Calm down” Gift said still smiling. "Do you know enough about this guy before going into a relationship with him?" She asked me. "Off course. I know his family members and a lot about his background. Besides the testimonies I heard about him gave me convictions that he is the one for me. He is a Pastor, he preaches so well and speaks in tongues."

"Babe, that’s not what I mean. Forget his family and his positions now. What do you know about his values? The person he is?"

“Eeeemmm….. he is a Christian, a Pastor.” "Forget all that for now!" Gift replied almost immediately. "I would be realistic with you, Cherish. I do not blame your ex boyfriends if not you. How could you be so insensitive that you are making the same mistake again?" 

"Gift tell me what you know, I want to be married like you and have a family."

"Cherish, in choosing a partner, if your values are not known and considered then you are planting banana peels on your way because the relationship might never result in marriage and even if it does the marriage have high chances of being faulty. You know why? Value systems is key to building solid relationships."

"This is why friendship should be the foundation of every boy and girl relationship. It is during the friendship stage that you get to discover his or her values like, his stand on purity, his goals, his priorities and many more and whether they align with yours or not. Then you get to know if he or she is someone you can go into a relationship with. Relationship is by choice just like friendship not by force or by pressure."

“Gift, how do I know someone’s values? After all I am not a witch.” "You ask questions dear. You need to ask questions concerning what you want to know. You don’t keep mute and be assuming that since he says he is a Christian or a Pastor and he goes to church he is for sexual purity. It doesn’t work that way."

"Pastors are humans too, though expectations are much of them but remember they are humans and thus not excluded from mistakes. They are men and women with blood flowing in their veins."

"You could ask like this, what is your view about sexual abstinence until marriage? What are your priorities?

I won't dispute the fact that every guy irrespective of who they are and what office they occupy wants just one thing in a relationship. Which is SEX, SEX and SEX!  Yes. I can say that again and again. They want it now, soon or later after marriage. What depicts their values is when they want it. 

It is now your choice to choose the one you want among them. That is why questioning is very vital before accepting a relationship and during the relationship before marriage is finally considered.

The habit of not asking questions has brought marriages to an end. Ask questions. It will save you from unnecessary heartbreaks, like this. Thank God you were able to escape. 

Another thing you should know, you shouldn't be visiting him alone especially in his house, except family house, and ensure people are around when you're together. If you must go alone make sure it is an open place like eateries or gardens, places where people are. Leave no room for temptation at all.

In all I have said forgive him but mind you the decision is still yours to make, I won't tell you to go back to him or not, with all I have said make your conclusion. Of course, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Mind you, If your relationship with God is not solid, your relationship with the man will fail. 

Let no one tell you otherwise, Sex isn't part of a relationship personal terms and agreement. It is part of marriage covenant."

I wanted telling her about the other two rape cases that happened to me but I think I know what to do now, heal properly with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgive my offenders including Ken and solidify my relationship with God. 

Enough of keeping to myself, it's time to grow and glow with God's children. I saw lots of impactful articles on Winnie Ene Louisa's timeline for singles, it's time to read them up and learn.

Of course I'm not going back to ken but I must forgive him and move on.

Thanks so much Gift, I wish I had spoken to you long time ago just maybe things wouldn't be like this, but I'm glad to know now.

We are so many, Cherish, out there dying in silent pain. Some have been so consumed with self guilt that suicide was their only escape. 

Some blame their self for crimes that wasn't their fault that low self-esteem is now their name.

Jesus is the solution to all situation.

I'm Winnie making impact.

I say NO to rape.

I say NO to suicide.

Yes to freedom in  Christ.

I help singles lead godly healthy relationship.

I Write, Speak and Advocate.

©Winnie Ene Louisa

#Saynotorape
#saynotosexualabuse
#saynotosuicide

23 Love
2 Share

VICTIM OF RAPE..

I don’t know how I managed to, I just knew that I was able to find my way home after fighting against his tight grip. I really can’t explain how devastated I am right now. My fiancé suddenly became a beast just because I didn’t permit him to have sex with me.

It's not the first time I am experiencing this but the difference is, I got away this time. I thought ken was different. He is a Christian. He speaks in tongues. In fact, he is the youth pastor of his Church—so respected and admired.

Why is all this happening to me, am I cursed?

What ken did to me this evening brought back the memory of the incident that took place five years ago in my room when I was on campus.

It was not really my fault because I wasn't aware of his plans in the first place. It was like the usual visit to my place after examination, before the end of the semester. I was happy to see him as usual. We were in a relationship, though he wasn't the Church type but he is a good guy and caring at that.

My boyfriend came visiting and I made him comfortable in my abode by preparing his favourite meal and made him feel at home.

The sun began to say farewell to daylight and the twinkle twinkle little stars took over the mantle from day and stood in the gap for itself.

My roommate had gone for vigil as the semester was over. He had never slept in my place before, neither have I in his place even though he stays alone. I was surprised because it's past 8 and he wasn't making plans of leaving anytime soon.

As if reading my mind, he said he won't be leaving as he planned to spend the night with me before going home and moreover, he knows my roommate had gone for vigil. I didn't want to argue.

I adjusted the bedspread in the room and I made sure the door was properly locked, then we went to bed together.

And in the middle of the night, I felt a movement on my body. I thought it was cockroach but I knew it wasn't somehow, then he spoke in the dark, "Baby I want to feel you a little, maybe it will help me sleep as I'm finding it difficult to sleep." When did I turn to lullaby? I said in my mind.

Still struggling to open my mouth and say the word "NO, PLEASE" became a problem for me. While still contemplating how to turn him down without upsetting him, the pleasure I was getting wouldn't allow me. Many thoughts ran through my small mind and I finally said NO... NO... NO... DON'T.

But my plea fell on deaf ears. I got up and turned on the light and behold the TONY I saw was not the guy I knew and loved. He was so strange and different.

Before I knew what was going on my clothes and body were separated. Until today, I can't explain how that magic happened within seconds. "Please don't", was the song I sang till my roommate came back in the morning.

I ended everything with him and I hated him from that day onward.

Or is it when I visited my friend from the fellowship and how I was raped in his room, I wished I died that day. The looks on his friend's face and neighbors, I picked my shattered self and walked head down to my room.

Or when I went to a remote village for service and the accommodation I was able to get because I was new to the area, how thieves visited that day and raped all the ladies there, of course I was not excluded.

I sometimes asked myself how can one person, I mean one small lady, have 3 rape cases in her life time from different men—beasts I mean.

I intentionally stayed away from men, anything men at all for four years.

Ken changed everything. I mean, he was an angel sent to wipe my sorrow and pains away, at least so I thought.

The testimony from his congregation about him gave me no doubt that he was the one.

TONY blamed me for what he did to me, he blamed me for raping me, imagine that!! For years I was with the guilt that I caused the rape, but I realized it wasn't my fault in any way.

Ken taught on rape on one of the days I went to church. Yes, I realized I had forgotten God and had to go back to Him. My life was empty, full of bitterness and pain. I needed to be free at least, I want to drop the heavy loads I was carrying daily.

It was so obvious that something was missing in my life, something no man can give. I resumed going to Church and studying the word.

I was invited to ken's Church and l liked the atmosphere and decided to stay, I decided to pitch my tent there. That was when the announcement of their youth programme was made, I gave it a thought to attend.

After hearing the word from the mouth of an handsome preacher like Ken, I was broken and I rededicated my life to God.

We became friends and finally got into a relationship. I finally thought THIS IS IT.

I was happy, he was happy too and everything was just fine. I thought he was different because he talked about marriage, the very first guy to tell me he wants to get married to me.

WHY? WHY?? WHY???

All men are after sex! I screamed at myself many times in the bathroom.

Sleep had lost its place in me that day, so I decided to surf my phone.

In the process, I saw a post on Facebook about rape by Louisa Ene Winnie and thought to read through. I then decided to tell my friend about my ordeals. I decided to share my story to let someone know how I have been feeling.

Gift was my roommate from year one until we graduated. She was devoted and humble. I have always admired her—everything about her—but I felt since we were both Christians there is nothing special about her. Notwithstanding, deep down I knew she was a better Christian than I am and a true one at that.

Fortunately for me, we attend the same Church but she is married with two kids and I try to avoid her most times in Church for no particular reason if you ask me or maybe am not being truthful to myself.

I know she somehow knew about me and pastor Ken (as he is fondly called by members).

I phoned her the next day and after exchanging pleasantries I told her I wanted to see her and it was very urgent.

Gift is so caring that she agreed to see me that day and we fixed a venue for our meeting, of course my place.

Immediately I saw my friend I couldn't hold back the tears, as I cried on her soft shoulders.

After some minutes of silence she said pastor Ken told her what happened and he is asking for my forgiveness.

I wasn't surprised because I once introduced him to Gift as my roommate and friend in school. But I didn't think he would tell her what he did to me, oh sorry, what he wanted to do to me.

She told me the same guy who attempted to rape me reported to her that I no longer answer his calls nor respond to his messages. “He must have lost his mind. What is he thinking?" I said and immediately narrated my side of the story to Gift. She just smirked after my long narration.

“Gift, what’s all this? I expected you to scream and thank God for me but you are smiling instead. Don’t tell me you are for him or is it because he is a pastor?"

“Hey! Calm down” Gift said still smiling. "Do you know enough about this guy before going into a relationship with him?" She asked me. "Off course. I know his family members and a lot about his background. Besides the testimonies I heard about him gave me convictions that he is the one for me. He is a Pastor, he preaches so well and speaks in tongues."

"Babe, that’s not what I mean. Forget his family and his positions now. What do you know about his values? The person he is?"

“Eeeemmm….. he is a Christian, a Pastor.” "Forget all that for now!" Gift replied almost immediately. "I would be realistic with you, Cherish. I do not blame your ex boyfriends if not you. How could you be so insensitive that you are making the same mistake again?"

"Gift tell me what you know, I want to be married like you and have a family."

"Cherish, in choosing a partner, if your values are not known and considered then you are planting banana peels on your way because the relationship might never result in marriage and even if it does the marriage have high chances of being faulty. You know why? Value systems is key to building solid relationships."

"This is why friendship should be the foundation of every boy and girl relationship. It is during the friendship stage that you get to discover his or her values like, his stand on purity, his goals, his priorities and many more and whether they align with yours or not. Then you get to know if he or she is someone you can go into a relationship with. Relationship is by choice just like friendship not by force or by pressure."

“Gift, how do I know someone’s values? After all I am not a witch.” "You ask questions dear. You need to ask questions concerning what you want to know. You don’t keep mute and be assuming that since he says he is a Christian or a Pastor and he goes to church he is for sexual purity. It doesn’t work that way."

"Pastors are humans too, though expectations are much of them but remember they are humans and thus not excluded from mistakes. They are men and women with blood flowing in their veins."

"You could ask like this, what is your view about sexual abstinence until marriage? What are your priorities?

I won't dispute the fact that every guy irrespective of who they are and what office they occupy wants just one thing in a relationship. Which is SEX, SEX and SEX! Yes. I can say that again and again. They want it now, soon or later after marriage. What depicts their values is when they want it.

It is now your choice to choose the one you want among them. That is why questioning is very vital before accepting a relationship and during the relationship before marriage is finally considered.

The habit of not asking questions has brought marriages to an end. Ask questions. It will save you from unnecessary heartbreaks, like this. Thank God you were able to escape.

Another thing you should know, you shouldn't be visiting him alone especially in his house, except family house, and ensure people are around when you're together. If you must go alone make sure it is an open place like eateries or gardens, places where people are. Leave no room for temptation at all.

In all I have said forgive him but mind you the decision is still yours to make, I won't tell you to go back to him or not, with all I have said make your conclusion. Of course, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Mind you, If your relationship with God is not solid, your relationship with the man will fail.

Let no one tell you otherwise, Sex isn't part of a relationship personal terms and agreement. It is part of marriage covenant."

I wanted telling her about the other two rape cases that happened to me but I think I know what to do now, heal properly with the help of the Holy Spirit, forgive my offenders including Ken and solidify my relationship with God.

Enough of keeping to myself, it's time to grow and glow with God's children. I saw lots of impactful articles on Winnie Ene Louisa's timeline for singles, it's time to read them up and learn.

Of course I'm not going back to ken but I must forgive him and move on.

Thanks so much Gift, I wish I had spoken to you long time ago just maybe things wouldn't be like this, but I'm glad to know now.

We are so many, Cherish, out there dying in silent pain. Some have been so consumed with self guilt that suicide was their only escape.

Some blame their self for crimes that wasn't their fault that low self-esteem is now their name.

Jesus is the solution to all situation.

I'm Winnie making impact.

I say NO to rape.

I say NO to suicide.

Yes to freedom in Christ.

I help singles lead godly healthy relationship.

I Write, Speak and Advocate.

©Winnie Ene Louisa

4 Love

The best thing you can learn from Inception of 'Alphabet' by Larry Page

This is something best I've read in long time, so just wants to keep this piece in my collection.
Written by: James Altucher
========================I visited Google a few weeks ago and, after almost getting arrested, my mind was blown.
First, Claudia wandered into the garage where they were actually making or fixing the driverless cars. When they finally realized she was wandering around, security had to escort her out.

We got scared and we thought we were going to get in trouble or thrown out.

Then we met with a friend high up at Google and learned some of the things Google was working on.

Nothing was related to search. Everything was related to curing cancer (a bracelet that can make all the cancer cells in your body move towards the bracelet), automating everything (cars just one of those things), Wi-Fi everywhere (Project Loon) and solving other “billion person problems”.

A problem wasn’t considered worthy unless it could solve a problem for a billion people.

So now Alphabet is aligning itself towards this strategy: a holding company that owns and invests in other companies that can solve billion person problems.

It’s not divided up by money. It’s divided up by mission.

I want to do this in my personal life also.

Just analyzing Larry Page’s quotes from the past ten years is a guidebook for “billion person success” and for personal success.

Here Are Some Of His Quotes:
"If you’re changing the world, you’re working on important things. You’re excited to get up in the morning."

To have well-being in life you need three things:
A) a feeling of competence or growth.
B) good emotional relationships.
C) freedom of choice.

Being able to wake up excited in the morning is an outcome of well-being.

Feeling like every day you are working on a billion-person problem will give you those three aspects of well-being.

At the very least, when I wake up I try to remember to ask: Who can I help today?

Because I’m a superhero and this is my secret identity.

"Especially in technology, we need revolutionary change, not incremental change."

Too often we get stuck in “good enough”. If you build a business that supports your family and maybe provides for retirement then that is “good enough”.If you write a book that sells 1000 copies then that is “good enough.”You ever wonder why planes have gotten slower since 1965? The Dreamliner 787 is actually slower than the 747. That’s ok. It’s good enough to get people across the world and save on fuel costs.It’s only the people who push past the “good enough syndrome” that we hear about: Elon Musk building a space ship. Larry Page indexing all knowledge. Elizabeth Holmes potentially diagnosing all diseases with a pin prick.

Isaac Asimov wrote classic science fiction like “The Foundation Series” but it wasn’t good enough for him. He ended up writing 500 more books, writing more books than anyone in history.

Larry Page keeps pushing so that every day he wakes up knowing he’s going to go past “good enough” that day.

What does your “good enough” day look like. What’s one thing that moves you past that?

"My job as a leader is to make sure everybody in the company has great opportunities, and that they feel they’re having a meaningful impact and are contributing to the good of society."

Whenever I’ve managed companies and have had the small opportunity to be a leader I’ve judged my success on only one thing:

Does the employee at night go home and call his or her parents and say, “guess what I did today!”

I’m not sure this always worked. But I do think Larry Page lifts all his employees to try to be better versions of themselves, to try to surpass him, to try and change the world.

If each employee can say, “who did I help today” and have an answer, then that is a good leader.

Empowering others, empowers you.

"Lots of companies don’t succeed over time. What do they fundamentally do wrong? They usually miss the future."

The stock market is near all time highs. And yet every company in the original Dow Jones market index (except for GE) has gone out of business.

Even US Steel, which built every building in the country for an entire century, has gone bankrupt.

Never let the practical get in the way of the possible.

It’s practical to focus on what you can do right now.

But give yourself time in your life to wonder what is possible and to make even the slightest moves in that direction.

We’re at maybe 1% of what is possible. Despite the faster change, we’re still moving slow relative to the opportunities we have. I think a lot of that is because of the negativity… Every story I read is Google vs someone else. That’s boring. We should be focusing on building the things that don’t exist.

Sometimes I want to give up on whatever I’m working on. I’m not working on major billion person problems.

And sometimes I think I write too much about the same thing. Every day I try to think, “What new thing can I write today” and I actually get depressed when I can’t think of something totally new.

But I am working on things that I think can help people. And if you are out side of people’s comfort zones, if you are breaking the normal rules of society, people will try to pull you down.

Larry Page didn’t want to be defined by Google for his entire life. He wants to be defined by what he hasn’t yet done. What he might even be afraid to do.

I wonder what my life would be like if I started doing all the things I was afraid to do. If I started defining my life by all the things I have yet to do.

"Many leaders of big organizations, I think, don’t believe that change is possible. But if you look at history, things do change, and if your business is static, you’re likely to have issues."

Guess which company had the original patent that ultimately Larry Page derived his own patent (that created google) from?

Go ahead. Think a second. Guess.

An employee of this company created the patent and tried to get them to use it to catalog information on the web.

They refused.

So Robin Li, an employee of The Wall Street Journal, quit the newspaper of capitalism (who owned his patent), moved to China (a communist country), and created Baidu.

And Larry Page modified the patent, filed his own, and created Google.

And the Wall Street Journal got swallowed up by Rupert Murdoch and is dying a slow death.

"I think as technologists we should have some safe places where we can try out new things and figure out the effect on society."

A friend of mine is writing a novel but is afraid to publish it. “Maybe it will be bad,” he told me.

Fortunately we live in a world where experimentation is easy. You can make a 30 page novel, publish it on Amazon for nothing, use an assumed name, and test to see if people like it.

Heck, I’ve done it. And it was fun.

Mac Lethal is a rapper who has gotten over 200 million views on his YouTube videos. Even Ellen had him on her show to demonstrate his skills.

I asked him, “do you get nervous if one of your videos gets less views than others?”

He told me valuable advice: “Nobody remembers your bad stuff. They only remember your good stuff.”

I live by that.

"If we were motivated by money, we would have sold the company a long time ago and ended up on a beach."

Larry Page and Sergey Brin wanted to be academics. When they first patented Google, they tried to sell to Yahoo for $1 million (ONE MILLION DOLLARS).

When Yahoo laughed them out the door, they tried to sell to Excite for $750,000.

Excite laughed them out the door. Now an ex-employee of Google is the CEO of Yahoo. And the founder of Excite works at Google. Google dominates.

Money is a side effect of trying to help others. Trying to solve problems. Trying to move beyond the “good enough”.

So many people ask: “how do I get traffic?” That’s the wrong question.

If you ask every day, “How did I help people today?” then you will have more traffic and money than you could have imagined.

"Invention is not enough. Tesla invented the electric power we use, but he struggled to get it out to people. You have to combine both things: invention and innovation focus, plus the company that can commercialize things and get them to people."

Everyone quotes the iconic story of Thomas Edison “failing” 10,000 times to get the electric lightbulb working.

I put failing in quotes because he was doing what any scientist does. He does many experiments until one works.

But what he did that was truly remarkable was convince New York City a few weeks later to light up their downtown using his lights.

The first time ever a city was lit up at night with electricity.

That’s innovation. That’s how the entire world got lit up.

"If you say you want to automate cars and save people’s lives, the skills you need for that aren’t taught in any particular discipline. I know – I was interested in working on automating cars when I was a Ph.D. student in 1995."

Too often we get labeled by our degree and our job titles. Larry Page and Elon Musk were computer science majors. Now they build cars and space ships.

David Chang was a competitive golfer as a kid, majored in religious studies in college, and then had random gopher jobs in his 20s.

The gopher jobs all happened to be in restaurants so he became familiar with how the business was run.

Then he started probably the most popular restaurant in NYC, momofoku. A dozen or so restaurants later, he is one of the most successful restauranteurs in history.

Peter Thiel worked as a lawyer in one of the top law firms in NY. When he quit in order to become an entrepreneur, he told me that many of his colleagues came up to him and said, “I can’t believe you are escaping”.

Escaping the labels and titles and hopes that everyone else has for us is one of the first steps in Choosing Ourselves for the success we are meant to have.

We define our lives from our imagination and the things we create with our hands.

"It really matters whether people are working on generating clean energy or improving transportation or making the Internet work better and all those things. And small groups of people can have a really huge impact."

What I love about this quote is that he combines big problems with small groups.

A small group of people created Google. Not Procter & Gamble. Or AT&T.

Even at Apple, when Steve Jobs wanted to create the Macintosh, he moved his small group to a separate building so they wouldn’t get bogged down in the big corporate bureaucracy that Apple was becoming.

Ultimately, they fired him for being too far from the corporate message.

Years later, when Apple was failing, they brought him back. What did he do? He cut most of the products and put people into small groups to solve big problems.

Before his death he revolutionized the movie industry, the computer industry, the music industry, TVs, and now even watches (watch sales have plummeted after the release of the Apple Watch).

All of this from a guy who finished one semester of studying calligraphy in college before dropping out.

Studying the history of Apple is like studying a microcosm of the history of how to create big ideas. Larry Page is recreating this with his new corporate structure.

We don’t have as many managers as we should, but we would rather have too few than too many.

The 20th century was the century of middle-class corporatism. It even became a “law” called “The Peter Principle” – everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

One of the problems society is having now is that the entire middle layer of management is being demoted, outsourced, replaced by technology, and fired.

This is not a bad or a good thing (although it’s scary). But it’s a return to the role of masters and apprentices without bureaucracy and paperwork in the middle.

It’s how things get done. When ideas go from the head into action with few barriers in the middle.

To be a successful employee, you have to align your interests with those of the company, come up with ideas that further help the customers, and have the mandate to act on those ideas, whether they work or not.

That’s why the employee who wrote much of the code inside the Google search engine, Craig Silverstein, is now a billionaire.

Where is he now? He’s an employee at online education company, The Khan Academy.

If you ask an economist what’s driven economic growth, it’s been major advances in things that mattered – the mechanization of farming, mass manufacturing, things like that. The problem is, our society is not organized around doing that.

Google is now making advances in driverless cars, delivery drones, and other methods of automation.

Everyone gets worried that this will cost jobs. But just look at history. Cars didn’t ruin the horse industry. Everyone simply adjusted.

TV didn’t replace books. Everything adjusted. The VCR didn’t shut down movies.

The Internet didn’t replace face to face communication (well, the jury is still out).

"What is the one sentence summary of how you change the world? Always work hard on something uncomfortably exciting!"

Not everyone wants to create a driverless car. Or clean energy. Or solve a billion person problem.

But I have a list of things that are uncomfortably exciting to me.

They are small, stupid things. Like I’d like to write a novel. Or perform standup comedy. Or maybe start another business based on my ideas for helping people.

Every day I wake up a tiny bit afraid. But I also try to push myself a little closer in those directions. I know then that’s how I learn and grow.

Sometimes I push forward. Sometimes I don’t. I want to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I do think there is an important artistic component in what we do. As a technology company I’ve tried to really stress that.

Nobody knows what the definition of Art is.

How about: something that doesn’t exist except in the imagination, that you then bring out into the real world that has some mix of entertainment, enlightenment, and betterment.

I don’t know. Something like that.

Certainly the iPad is a work of art. And the iPad has created works of art. And when I first saw a driverless car I thought, “that’s beautiful”.

I’m going to try and put my fingerprint on something today. And maybe it will be art.

The idea that everyone should slavishly work so they do something inefficiently so they keep their job – that just doesn’t make any sense to me. That can’t be the right answer.

We’ve been hypnotized into thinking that the “normal life” is a “working life”.

If you don’t “go to work” then you must be sick or on the tiny bit of vacation allotted to you each year.

What if everything you did you can inject a little bit of leisure, a little bit of fun into it.

I have fun writing, except when I think I have to meet a deadline (work). I have fun making a business that people actually use except when I think about money too much (work).

When you are at the crossroads and your heart loves one path and doesn’t love the other, forget about which path has the money and the work, take the path you love.

We want to build technology that everybody loves using, and that affects everyone. We want to create beautiful, intuitive services and technologies that are so incredibly useful that people use them twice a day. Like they use a toothbrush. There aren’t that many things people use twice a day.

What a great idea for a list of the day!

What are ten things that can be invented that people would use twice a day?

You need to invent things and you need to get them to people. You need to commercialize those inventions. Obviously, the best way we’ve come up with doing that is through companies.

I was speaking to Naveen Jain, who made his billions on an early search engine, InfoSpace.

He just started a company to mine rare earth minerals on the Moon.

But his real goal is extra-planetary colonization.

Somehow we got around to the question of why have a company in the middle of that. He has billions. He can just go straight for the colonization part.

He said, “Every idea has to be sustainable. Profitability is proof that an idea is sustainable.”

You may think using Google’s great, but I still think it’s terrible.

K. Anders Ericsson made famous the “10,000 hour rule” popularized later by Malcom Gladwell.

The rule is: if you practice WITH INTENT for 10,000 hours then you will be world-class.

He then wondered why typists would often reach a certain speed level and then never improve no matter how many hours.

After doing research, its because they forgot the “With intent” part. They were satisfied with “good enough”.

You have to constantly come up with new metrics to measure yourself, to compete against yourself, to better the last plateau you reached.

Google is great. But it can be better. Having this mindset always forces you to push beyond the comfort zone.

Once they changed the way typists viewed their skills (by recreating the feeling of “beginner’s mind”) the typists continued to get faster.

We have a mantra: don’t be evil, which is to do the best things we know how for our users, for our customers, for everyone. So I think if we were known for that, it would be a wonderful thing.

Many people argue whether or not Google has succeeded at this. That’s not the point.

The point is: Values before Money.

A business is a group of people with a goal to solve a problem. Values might be: we want to solve a problem, we want the customer to be happy, we want employees to feel like they have upward mobility, etc.

Once you lose your values, you’ll lost the money as well. This why family-run businesses often die by the third generation (“Shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations).

The values of the founder got diluted through his descendants until the company failed.

I think it is often easier to make progress on mega-ambitious dreams. Since no one else is crazy enough to do it, you have little competition. In fact, there are so few people this crazy that I feel like I know them all by first name.

Our parents have our best interests at heart and tell us how to be good adults.

Our schools have our best interests.

Our friends, colleagues, sometimes our bosses, sometimes government, think they have our best interests.

But it’s only when everyone thinks you are crazy that you know you are going to create something that surprises everyone and really makes your own unique handprint on the world.

And because you went out of the comfort zone, you’re only competing against the few other people as crazy as you are.

You know what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night with a vivid dream? And you know that if you don’t have a pencil and pad by the bed, it will be completely gone by the next morning. Sometimes it’s important to wake up and stop dreaming. When a really great dream shows up, grab it.

For every article I’ve ever written, there’s at least ten more I left behind in the middle of the night thinking I would remember in the morning.

I have to beat myself in the head. I . Will. Not. Remember….Must. Write. Down.

It’s hard to wake up. And that’s the only thing worth remembering. It’s hard to wake up.

I have always believed that technology should do the hard work – discovery, organization, communication – so users can do what makes them happiest: living and loving, not messing with annoying computers! That means making our products work together seamlessly.

This is a deep question – who are you? If you have a mechanical hand, is that “you”?

Conversely, if you lose a hand, did you lose a part of you. Are you no longer a complete person? The complete you?

If an implant is put into your brain to access Google, does that effect who you view your self to be?

When books were invented, memory suffered. We no longer had to remember as much, because we can look things up.

Does that make our brains less human?

I bet memory has suffered with the rise of Google. Does this mean our consciousness has suffered?

When we created fire, we outsourced part of our digestion to this new invention. Did this make our stomachs less human?

With technology taking care of the basic tasks of our brain and body, it allows us to achieve things we couldn’t previously dream possible.

It allows us to learn and explore and to create past the current comfort zone. It allows us to find the happiness, freedom, and well-being we deserve.

Over time, our emerging high-usage products will likely generate significant new revenue streams for Google as well as for our partners, just as search does today.

This is it. This is why Larry Page has re-oriented Google into Alphabet.

Don’t waste your most productive energies solving a problem that now only has incremental improvements.

Re-focus the best energies on solving harder and harder problems.

Always keeping the value of “how can I help a billion people” will keep Google from becoming a Borders bookstore (which went out of business after outsourcing all of their sales to Amazon).

How does this apply to the personal?

Instead of being a cog in the machine for some corporation, come up with ways to automate greater abundance.

Always understand that coming up with multiple ways to help people is ultimately the way to create the biggest impact.

Impact then creates health, friendship, competence, abundance, and freedom.

But this is also why he created Alphabet and put Google underneath it.

To save the world. To save me.

--------------------------------

Original article appeared here:
http://inc42.com/buzz/20-things-ive-learned-from-l..

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1 Share

"No one is going to fight for you.. Get Ready to fight for yourself! No one is going to struggle for you.. Get Ready to Struggle out your difficulties! No one is going to speak for you.. Get Ready to Speak up for Your Dignity! No one is going to choose for you.. Get Ready to Make Your own Choice! No one is going to Dream for You.. Get Ready to imagine your own dreams! No One is going to Achieve for You.. Get Ready to Achieve your own Success! No One is going to Win for You.. Get Ready to Win Your Own Battle! GET READY FOR YOURSELF GET READY TO SPARK GET READY TO SHINE GET READY TO BE YOU GET READY TO BE HAPPY"

No one is going to fight for you..
Get Ready to fight for yourself!
No one is going to struggle for you..
Get Ready to Struggle out your difficulties!
No one is going to speak for you..
Get Ready to Speak up for Your Dignity!
No one is going  to choose for you..
Get Ready to Make Your own Choice! 
No one is going to Dream for You..
Get Ready to imagine  your own dreams!
No One is going to Achieve for You..
Get Ready to Achieve your own Success!
No One is going to Win for You..
Get Ready to Win Your Own Battle!
GET READY FOR YOURSELF 
GET READY TO SPARK
GET READY TO SHINE
GET READY TO BE YOU 
GET READY TO BE HAPPY

Get Ready to Live #nojotoenglish#MorningThoughts#Motivation#Life

3 Love

The only technique to learn something new
By James Altucher



I had a friend who wanted to get better at painting. But she thought she had to be in Paris, with all the conditions right. She never made it to Paris. Now she sits in a cubicle under fluorescent lights, filling out paperwork all day.
Someone stole $90 million from a company I was involved in. I'm a poor judge of people. The company collapsed.
Some things I can't learn. I tend to like people too much.
So it's hard for me to be a good judge of people, no matter how much I try. So I find other people who are good at judging people and I ask them to help me.
Don't force yourself to learn something if you don't want to or it's not a natural talent.
What's the role of talent? Very small. But you have to start with it. Talent is the seed of skill.
How do you know if you are talented? If you loved it when you were ten years old. If you dream about it. If you like to read about it. Read the below and you'll know what you are talented at.
Trust me when I say: everyone is talented at many things.
 This story is from James Altucher's website. He let us it after we asked nicely.In the past 20 years I've wanted to learn how to do some things really well. Writing, programming, business skills (leadership, sales, negotiating, decision-making), comedy, games.
So I developed a ten step technique for learning.
1. LOVE IT.
If you can't start with "love" then everyone who does love will beat everyone who "likes" or "hates".
This is a rule of the universe. The first humans who crossed the arctic tundra from Siberia to Alaska in -60 degree temperatures had to love it. The rest stayed in the East Africa Savannah.
The very first day I wrote a "Hello, World" computer program I dreamed about computers. I woke up at 4am to get back to the "computer lab" and make even bigger programs.
When I first started to write every day, I would write all day. I couldn't stop. And all I wanted to talk about with people were different authors.
When I was 10 years old I wrote a gossip column about all my fellow 5th graders. I read every Judy Blume book. I read everything I could. I loved it.
Most of my friends got bored with me and soon I was very lonely. Except when I was writing.
2. READ IT.
Bobby Fischer wasn't that good at chess. He had talent but nobody thought much of him.
So around the age of 12-13 he disappeared for a year. He did this later in his 20s.
But at 13 when he came back on the scene he was suddenly the best chessplayer in the US, won the US championship, and became the youngest grandmaster in the world.
How did he do it? He barely played at all during his year of wandering.
Instead he did two things:
a) he studied every game played in the prior century. In the 1800s.
When he came back on the scene he was known for playing all of these antiquated openings but he had improvements in each one. Nobody can figure out how to defeat these improvements.
In fact, the final game of the World Championship many years later, in 1972 when he was playing Spassky, he brought out his 1800s arsenal to become World Champion.
Spassky desperately needed to win to keep the match going. Fischer needed to draw to win the title.
Spassky started with a very modern attacking opening ("The Sicilian") But then around 13 moves in, all of the commentators watching gasped.
Fischer had subtly changed the opening into an old-fashioned very drawish 1800s opening called "The Scotch Game." Spassky didn't have a chance after that.
b) He learned enough Russian to read the Russian chess magazines. At the time, the top 20 players in the world were all Russian. The Americans didn't really have a chance.
So Fischer would study the Russian games while all of the Americans were sitting around with openings and styles the Russians already knew how to defeat.
Consequently, when Fischer competed in the US championship in the early 60s it was the first complete shutout, all wins and not a single draw.
Studying the history, studying the best players, is the key to being the best player. Even if you started off with average talent.
3. TRY IT. BUT NOT TOO HARD.
If you want to be a writer, or a businessman, or a programmer, you have to write a lot, start a lot of businesses, and program a lot of programs.
Things go wrong. This is why quantity is more important than quality at first.
The learning curve that we all travel is not built by accomplishments. It's only built by quantity.
If you see something 1000 times, you'll see more than the person who sees the same thing only ten times.
Don't forget the important rule: the secret of happiness is not "being great" - the secret is "growth".
If you only "try" you'll get to your level that is natural for you. But growth will stop and you won't be happy.
4. GET A TEACHER (PLUS THE 10X RULE).
If I try to learn Spanish on my own, I get nowhere. But when I go out (and now marry) someone who is from Argentina, I learn more Spanish.
With chess, writing, programming, business, I always find someone better than me, and I set a time each week to ask them tons of questions, have them give me assignments, look over my mistakes and tell me where I am wrong.
For everything you love, find a teacher and that makes you learn 10x faster.
In fact, everything I put on this list, makes you learn 10x faster. So if you do everything on this list you will learn 10 to the 10th power faster than anyone else.
That's how you become great at something.
5. STUDY THE HISTORY. STUDY THE PRESENT.
If you want to learn how to be a GREAT programmer (not just good enough to program an app but good enough to be GREAT, study machine language.
Study 1s and 0s. Study the history of the computer, learn how to make an operating system, and Fortran, Cobol, Pascal, Lisp, C, C , all the way through the modern languages of Python, etc.
If you want to write better, read great books from the 1800s. Read Hemingway and Virginia Woolf and the Beats, and the works that have withstood the test of time.
They have withstood the test of time. versus millions of other books, for a reason. They are the best in the world.
Then study the current criticism of those books to see what you have missed. This is just as important as the initial reading.
If you want to study business, read biographies of Rockefeller, Carnegie, the first exchange in Amsterdam, the junk-bond boom, the 90s, the financial bust. Every Depression. All the businesses that flourished in every depression.
Read "Zero to One" by Peter Thiel. Watch "The Profit" on CNBC. Read about Steve Jobs. Read about the downfall of Kodak in "The End of Power".
Don't read self-help business books. They are nothing. You are about to enter a great field, the field of innovation that has created modern society. Don't read the average books that came out last year.
Step up your game and read about the people and inventions that changed the world into what it is today.
Read how Henry Ford had to start three car companies to get it right and why "three" was the important number for him.
Read about why Ray Kroc's technique for franchising created the world's largest restaurant chain. Read how the Coca-Cola makes absolutely nothing but is the largest drink company in the world.
Write down the things you learn from each reading.
6. DO EASY PROJECTS FIRST.
Tony Robbins told me about when he was scared to death on his first major teaching job.
He had to teach a bunch of Marines how to improve their sharpshooting. "I had never shot a gun in my life," he said.
He studied quite a bit from professionals but then he came up with a technique that resulted in the best scores of any sharpshooting class before then.
He brought the target closer.
He put it just five feet from them. They all shot bullseyes. Then he moved it back bit by bit until it was the standard distance.
They were still shooting bullseyes.
Richard Branson started a magazine before he started an airline. Bill Gates wrote BASIC before his team wrote Windows.
E.L. James (and yes, I'm including her) wrote Twilight fan fiction, before she wrote "50 Shades of Grey".
Ernest Hemingway never thought he could write a novel. So he wrote dozens of short stories.
Programmers write "Hello, World" programs before they make their search engines.
Many chess grandmasters recommend you study the endgame first in chess (when there are few pieces left on the board) before you study the other parts of the game.
This gets you confidence, it teaches subtleties, it gives you greater feelings of growth and improvement - all steps on the path to success.
7. STUDY WHAT YOU DID.
The other day I threw everything out. Everything. I threw out all my books (donated). I threw out all my clothes.
I threw out old computers. I threw out plates I never used. I threw out sheets I would never have guests for. I threw out furniture (four book cases) and my TV and old papers and everything.
I wanted to clean up. And I did.
I found a novel I wrote in 1991. 24 years ago. It was horrible.
For the first time in those 24 years, I re-read it. I studied what I did wrong (character unrelatable. Plot too obvious. Deus ex machina all over the place).
Someone told me a story about Amy Schumer, one of my favorite comedians. She videotapes all her performances.
Then she goes back to her room and studies the performance second by second. "I should have paused another quarter-second here," she might say.
She wants to be the best at comedy. She studies her every performance.
When I play chess, if I lose, I run the game into the computer. I look at every move, what the computer suggests as better, I think about what I was thinking when I made the bad move, and so on.
A business I was recently invested in fell apart. It was painful for me. But I had to look at it and see what was wrong. Where did I make a mistake. At every level I went back and wrote what happened and where I might have helped better and what I missed.
If you aren't obsessed with your mistakes then you don't love the field enough to get better.
You ask lousy questions: "Why am I no good?" Instead of good questions: "What did I do wrong and how can I improve?"
When you consistently ask good questions about your own work, you become better than the people who freeze themselves with lousy questions.
Example: I hate watching myself after a TV appearance. I have never done it. So I will never get better at that.
8. YOU ARE THE AVERAGE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
Look at every literary, art, and business scene. People seldom get better as individuals. They get better as groups.
The Beats: Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs and a dozen others.
The programmers: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Ted Leonsis, Paul Allen, Steve Wozniak and a dozen others all came out of the Homebrew Club
The art scene in the 50s: Jasper Johns, De Kooning, Pollack, etc all lived on the SAME STREET in downtown NYC.
YouTube, LinkedIn, Tesla, Palantir, and to some extent Facebook, and a dozen other companies came out of the so-called "PayPal mafia".
All of these people could've tinkered by themselves. But humans are tribal mammals. We need to work with groups to improve.
Find the best group, spend as much time with them, and as a "scene" you become THE scene.
You each challenge each other, compete with each other, love each other's work, become envious of each other, and ultimately take turns surpassing each other.
9. DO IT A LOT.
What you do every day matters much more than what you do once in awhile.
I had a friend who wanted to get better at painting. But she thought she had to be in Paris, with all the conditions right.
She never made it to Paris. Now she sits in a cubicle under fluorescent lights, filling out paperwork all day.
Write every day, network every day, play every day, live healthy every day.
Measure your life in the number of times you do things. When you die: are you 2 writing sessions old? Or are you 50,0000?
10. FIND YOUR EVIL PLAN.
Eventually the student passes the master.
The first hedge fund manager I worked for now hates me. I started my own fund and his fund went out of business. My evil plan was ultimately to be better than him.
But how?
After all of the above, you find your unique voice. And when you speak in that voice, the world hears something it has never heard before.
Your old teachers and friends might not want to hear that voice. But if you continue to be around people who love and respect you, then they will encourage that new voice.
There's that saying, "there are no new ideas." But there are.
There are all the ideas in the past combined with the new beautiful you. You're the butterfly.
Now it's your turn to teach, to mentor, to create, to innovate, to change the world. To make something nobody has ever seen before and perhaps will never see again.

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