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Mwangi Kirungoh

Mind of an artist Skills of a slave.

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040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

I write to express things in my mind that I can't define...

As I write,
My pen screams to you,
Spilling out my soul, 
Every letter, every word,
Delivers,
Every tear, every pain.

But this isn't working!

Grab my hand, I'm drowning.
I'm going through emotions.
I'm dancing on the edge of sanity.
I'm miserable inside.
I'm losing my mind.

Being alone with my thoughts scares me.
My confidence disappears,
THEY don't want me better.
THEY don't want me to heal.
THEY don't want me fixed.
THEY don't want me to sleep.
THEY made a home in my head.

This is my hell! Deemed Unstable

#SAD

Deemed Unstable #SAD #Life_experience

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

If I was like you,

I'd wake up each day,
Look into the mirror and love myself.
If I was like you,
I'd lock up my insecurities in a shelf,
Make friends,
And finally smile again.

But here I am;
Stressed,
Scared,
Broken.

How did my fears go from bugs and heights,
To thoughts in my mind?

My mind...
Is slowly but surely killing me.
Wreaking havoc in me.
It feels like it's too much
I want to make this cloud above me disappear.
I want to disappear! I AM LOSING myself.🌑

#dissociation

#alonesoul

I AM LOSING myself.🌑 #dissociation #alonesoul #Life_experience

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

I'm never good enough,
not even for myself. Numb.

Numb.

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

If you knew me,
This is what would you'd really find;

I'm scared,
I'm filled with so much hate.
You tell me to pick myself up,
but it's too late!
Dark is the only light in sight,
Slowly killing me,
Destroying me piece by piece.

I've lost myself completely,
Insecurities echo in my dreams,
Yearning to be set free.
It's fingers reach out,
Dragging me deeper,
Dragging me straight back to hell.

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I'm a bad person.
I hate myself too,
I've never been good enough,
Not to myself and probably not to anyone.

I think I've had enough...

I wish you'd understand.
You don't understand. 
You'll never understand. Sadness Unchanged.🌑

Sadness Unchanged.🌑 #Life_experience

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

My brain is awake and racing,

Trapped inside me is a "mini-me".

I tried pushing him back down
But he's growing bigger and bigger,
He's running out of room,
Perhaps that's why he's rising up,
To my lungs, throat and creeping into my mind.

Sooner or later,
I'll be disappearing.

But then who knows?
Maybe I'm already gone. Here's to the mini-me inside me. 🌒

Here's to the mini-me inside me. 🌒 #poem

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

I'm impossible to love,
It's only a matter of time before you figure it out.

I can't help it,
Unlike normal guys,
I'm not myself lately.
And that's what I am.

I'm a wreck,
Unpredictable and weird.
I let people down,
And hurt the ones I love.

So I warn you prior,
It always happens. it always happens. 🚶🏿‍♂️

it always happens. 🚶🏿‍♂️ #poem

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

1.01 AM

I'm so deep in my own head
Accepting the thoughts,
Letting them in.
Letting them win.
The air around me is going damp,
Everything else is gradually fading.

I can feel the Earth closing in;
I'm being buried deep, 
Deep under layers and layers of 'what-ifs',
Darkness keeps pressing me down.

I can't hold on.
I can't hold back anymore,
I'm just a normal guy,
Pretending to be a hero. Jumping off the ledge...
#depression

Jumping off the ledge... #depression #poem

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

Before I die I want to;
Breathe,
Believe in myself,
Feel good about myself.

I want to;,
Fit in,
Matter
Count for something.

I want to;
Write,
Travel,
Smile.

Before I die, 
I just want to live.
And if I die,
I want to remain a memory. Still 🌒

#Hope

Still 🌒 #Hope #poem

040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

Alone Quotes In Hindi I'm sinking so deep I can't breathe.
It feels like I'm being swallowed whole by the weight of words:
Words coming from the little voice that still resides in me.

Words of self hatred;
"Worthless"
"Freak"
"Weirdo" 

But we all know,
If anyone is the mistake,
It's me.
If anyone can fix this,
It's still me.

I start sprinting,
Running as fast as I can,
Running past the dark corners in my head,
Trying to outrun the voice in my head,

I can't let them in,
I can't let them win!
Not today!

Will I make it without falling? #Awake
040dcd4b4aa4b045d218c49e8bb951f3

Mwangi Kirungoh

Lost in our own thoughts,
We sat in peaceful silence, watching the sun collapse.
I liked her more with every passing minute. 

God, she was beautiful
Something less to do with how she looked than how she was. 
It felt like I was reading everything I ever dreamed of writing about. Since when does love make sense.
🌻

Since when does love make sense. 🌻 #poem

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