#letterto18yohg
Dear 18-yo HG,
today is one such day where everything is adopting a slow motion and skipping parts. things are heavy. my eyes are laden with sleepiness that they are welling up and drying, off and on. i still haven't bathed myself and it's 3 to 8. how many days like this must i cross? do you know what? if my fear of death clutches my neck, i think about days like today. days we don't mind fast forwarding. (i do mind.)
with my head teeming with fecklessness, my heart seething with blurred solutions-- all my parts have identified themselves with an illness they categorise as chronic. i always wonder why i say no problem has befallen me, and that i will not have the strength to face it, if it does. i was about to write a sentence about other people, i backspaced.
talks about life, as in the reality-- what's happening around and within, puts me under a kind of pressure, which i will learn to describe only if i become a wise 92-yo granny. take care of mum, talk to bro, don't take things to your heart-- hurts. or worse destructs. though the effect wears out before i notice, those few minutes or sometimes, hours i wallow in gloom and doom, wreak havoc on my system i've been building for 17+ years. if this is going to be the case, i might end up becoming a person who i'm not now. a version i'd not want to house even for a day. do you have a way out? yes, i'm asking you. but, don't worry if you don't, we'll figure it out together. for, when you're 18, you're also 17, 16, 15, 14, ..., 1*. #yqbaba#cinemagraph#yolewrimo#yqpostman#hedgelecktic
